| #1 Talon[34497] |
| cx110054-a.pwy1.sdca.home.com |
| boo yah! |
| #2 Mogalin[34499] |
| cgowave-0-225.cgocable.net |
| Long. |
| #3 Sp|nE[34502] |
| dialup0504-pri.voicenet.com |
| picless |
| #4 :+:casper:+:[34504] |
| on-tor-blr-a58-02-1247.look.ca |
| I'll go read my copy of the Illiad now. gw. |
| #5 <marquee width="60" scroll rate="10">[{o}]</marquee>[34505] |
| dialup-209.246.85.177.NewYork2.Level3.net |
I would normally say gj but since you said something immature in my last report, I'd like to return the favor.
I quote "two words = your gay, what a dum report i give it a 1"
have a nice day
-TheCameraGuy
(My new commenting style) |
| #6 </MARQUEE>RS.anime(RS)</MARQUEE>[34512] |
| sfe-nm6-228.ix.netcom.com |
| He got the dates all wrong the people that were the terrans traveled from earth for 1000 years |
| #7 Ioti[34514] |
| grn-co3a-39.rasserver.net |
Fairly good report/story, not quite .Praetor material, but that would be pretty damn hard to do.
And [{o}], get the br finished.... |
| #8 Baxter-O'Bixby[34517] |
| luther.CS.Berkeley.EDU |
| This appears to be incomplete. And what's with the incessant ellipses? |
| #9 [CAT]Willzzz[34572] |
| pc78.cc.rhbnc.ac.uk |
| umm turrets are kinda useful in stopping reaver drops else you'll find that the reaver will be popping in and out of that shuttle all day long making it twice as effective. |
| #10 <font color=yellow> |]agomar[34579] |
| gateway.ncdsb.com |
Hrm. So-so.
Nice try tho, gj. |
| #11 <font color=yellow> |]agomar[34580] |
| gateway.ncdsb.com |
I skimmed through it again . . . .
Nice writing, you show excellent skill. This sounds a bit too much like a running status report tho, not so much a work of fiction. Reports like this should have story lines. |
| #12 Drefsab[34581] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
I actually kind of liked the style. However, its not finished... Why would you post an incomplete report?
I'm not rating this cuz it's not complete in my opinion.
Dref |
| #13 Barage[34605] |
| dialup-209.246.182.153.Atlanta1.Level3.net |
That was wild, simply put. It's images like what that writing brought to me that make me want to try melee SC again, bad connection or good.
I'm assuming that the whole report was showing the uselessness of optic flare. In that it worked and described the thing well. However, as dref marked, it is too little to give. By how you wrote it, I'd imagine that writing a full on battle would be too long for decency. What would be best would be to start from the begining and do it in parts. No, the report doesn't have to be real (I doubt this is realy) since it is considered fiction and, well, even good games make bad fic stories.
Just continue what you got going there; I'd LOVE to see how that commander tries to break out of dragoon containment before he is stormed to death.
So basicly, not bad at all, but we need MORE. Continue this baby out :).
Reading this report is like:
Telling your arbiter to recall 50 dragoons into your foe's last expansion...then having to pause as the warping starts.
|
| #14 Capster[34627] |
| firewall5.lexis-nexis.com |
The purpose of the ellipses was to create more drama similar to Dante's inferno. I am presently adapting my style to Dante's disciples...an awesome read----take a look at it before you go to bed---talk about horror...
Oh and as far as the completeness...well wtf I knew people would complain about the length, so I had to shorten it.
I'm surprised that some of you read through it I found that gratifying.......
If there is sufficient demand, I will continue the story...or if someone wants it emailed, I can do that as well.
Caps |
#15  [34640] |
| rc33.Rmax1.globalsite.net |
Capster, there are many reports on this site that are much longer than this one. I would have read the whole thing if you had finished and posted it.
It really wasn't that long and unless your story is 20 pages, its much cooler if you post the whole thing all at once. That way I don't feel cheated when I get to the To Be Continued...
Dref |
| #16 Syndrome Zed[34718] |
| wmb6217-daley.neuro.emory.edu |
Hey caps!
Not bad. I agree with Dref tho - go ahead and finish. If you're the same Capster from Shafe's old site, you'll remember just how long my little text ditties could go on :). That hasn't changed even if my venue has. I'd like to hear the rest, especially if you wound up coming back! |
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