| #1 first guy[40379] |
| ee20.ips.PaulBunyan.net |
| ahahauhahah im first |
| #2 Strom[40383] |
| ext57.mosx.com |
Pretty good for fantasy fiction on this site. A little bit uneven in places but very engaging given its short length. Could use some proof reading and spell checking, but it's better than most fiction posted here.
Rating 7, with potential for more.
Strom
|
| #3 p|-|3arm3[40384] |
| r-174.181.alltel.net |
Nice story, but as is often the main problem with my works, far to short. This could be transformed, as was the first chapter in one of my stories I am working on now, into a prologue. They are usually far shorter than chapters... If you had an actual chapter try to make it a LOT longer... That will always help you get a better rating.
p|-|3arm3
"We are NOT retreating, we are simply advancing in another direction!" - Doughlas MacArthur |
| #4 Baxter-O'Bixby[40386] |
| adsl-63-195-119-107.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
I was very intrigued; this has the makings of great sci-fi. It's not exactly Heinlein, but I'm still eagerly awaiting the next installment.... :)
8.5 |
#5  [40392] |
| fjwilson.reshall.ucsd.edu |
| Short, and odd. I suppose I'll rate it. |
| #6 dislekcia[40401] |
| netcache2.is.co.za |
| Interesting ideas, give us something longer to read next time! ... You know that people like your stuff when they complain that it's too short ;) |
| #7 Evil_Toaster[40427] |
| netcache2.is.co.za |
| Ye write more, i wanna hear about how that guy goes to test the system and has his brain fried, then goes insane :) |
| #8 RadariG[40490] |
| spider-tf042.proxy.aol.com |
You're kinda getting ahead of yourself, Toaster. Or is that myself? Are you getting ahead of... never mind.
Hey that's two sixes in a row. I guess that helps my average. |
| #9 Limp_Bizkit666[50296] |
| 206.117.45.150 |
hehe, nice one...
like EVERYONE said, it's short.. but interesting ideas tho..
nice character developement and all..
i liked it..
keep writing!!!
byeya
p.s-peeeeecchhheess..... =] |
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