| #1 Hostile~SCV[50798] |
| 204.32.183.167 |
| first. |
| #2 ThanatoZ[50799] |
| AC9FC1C6.ipt.aol.com |
| Woohoo, I got top 5! |
| #3 RaZaGhAx[50801] |
| cx55467-a.irvn1.occa.home.com |
3rd owns all =)
<b>RaZ</b>-BLD |
| #4 ScreamStalker[50805] |
| slip-32-100-235-54.ca.us.prserv.net |
Interesting concept but some flaws. First- Lots of spelling mistakes. A few are ok but there were more then a few. Second- Something was weird about the flow. The sentences were pretty choppy, and lacked alot of description and depth. Third- Some guy dies, thats a great instance for some detailed gore and emotional twisting, but instead it was just like...oh yeah...got a blade in his gut..that would ruin your day, know what I mean? Good attempt, but it should be longer and more involving.
<b><font color="teal">ScreamStalker |
| #5 Sonneillon[50806] |
| tsdlsk01d01010119.sk.sympatico.ca |
ScreamStalker put it in a much nicer way than I ever could've. I agree wholeheart-edly as everything I wanted to say was covered. Not too shabby for a first attempt though.
Moral of the post - Keep writing and you WILL improve.
The Insane Goatee
Sonneillon
|
#6  [50830] |
| 242849hfc177.tampabay.rr.com |
| a basic unupgraded probe can bring maniac marines' marine down to 20 hitpoints before dying. 2 probes can kill the author of this report. |
| #7 Doom-[50857] |
| 167.218.152.40 |
| hahahahahhhhhhhhhhhaahahah |
| #8 Starookie[50880] |
| edtn009147.hs.telusplanet.net |
| thee-hee marine is a "private" ^^ |
| #9 [50881] |
| bc-van-mut-a53-02-43.look.ca |
this sux
|
#10  [50924] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
I'm having a really hard digesting all this fan fic. Its a lot of reading and the fact that all of them seem to be split up into parts makes it even more difficult. Like reading five different stories at the same time and keeping track of 5 different plot lines.
This one was very difficult to read during the spelling. There was much action or emotion in the writing and the font was too big.
Anyway, enough bitching out of me. This wasn't horrible or anything but I'm just burned out on fan fic.
5
Dref |
| #11 [50925] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
let me rephrase that second paragraph on my last post:
This was difficult to read due to the spelling. there wasn't much action or emotion in the writing and the font was too big.
Much better, :-)
Dref |
| #12 [51024] |
| users2.xorchicago.com |
| Don't pull punches Dref, this blew |
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