| #1 Silent_Sniper[51072] |
| cc576077-a.vron1.nj.home.com |
| Oh yeah, go me, FIRST!!! |
| #2 Wisest~Yoda[51115] |
| pm3-1-171.boscobel.mwt.net |
i read 7 words
i hate fanfic
mebe its good, i guess ill never know |
| #3 ~13~ShAdOwDrAc[51124] |
| spider-wl041.proxy.aol.com |
Erm... uh... that was... worse than mine... and thats BAD... lotsa spelling bads, and punctuation bads, and 2 short. Were I a rater, it would get maybe a...
3.2 cuz it has an okay start to a plotline. |
| #4 Upraw[51131] |
| 203.87.48.4 |
Umm.....ok, I said it was short because I'm releasing segments little but often. There isn't much spelling mistakes if any, would you please point them out. What's wrong with my punctuation? I'll take in your points if you back it up with evidence. I ask future flamers to take in account that this is only the VERY start.
- Upraw |
| #5 a[W]o_Stilicho[51169] |
| KRLDA010-0006.splitrock.net |
| All I say is that someone has WAY too much time on their hands. |
| #6 Neuromancer[51198] |
| 38.194.99.173 |
| Uh,just to say that this is BATTLEREPORTS.COM you see, people come here to read BATTLEREPORTS, this damm fanfic is crap, also the storyline is crap, you can't even write fanfic!! |
| #7 blah[51239] |
| 63.210.199.30 |
uh ok. since i have nothing good to say, i will say very little at all.
but i would like return the favor and say your fan fic is very "unstructured". what does that mean, i don't know.
and my constructive advice is...
<i>"Pour confidence into the body while keeping the head alert,” Duran stated from an old testimony, who’s he could not remember. </I>
I don't think you want the word "testimony". I think you want "proverb". And it's whose not who's.
"Pour confidence into the body while keeping the head alert," Duran quoted from an old proverb, whose author he could not remember.
|
| #8 Upraw[51330] |
| 254.0212.mel.iprimus.net.au |
Hmmm......Well, just because you don't like fanfic's Neuromancer it doesn't mean I can't write them here at BATTLEREPORTS.COM! As I read your comment I nearly laughed at your stupidity, I am sure there are many fanfics on this site and going against all evidence you state that this is a battlereports only site.
And Blah, I do want to hear what you have to say. I did mean testimony and that will be tied into the story later. I have a plan for the story and I'm following it. I have no idea how you figured it was "unstructured" from the first chapter. If you would just tell me how to improve it I would be grateful.
(I am not trying to put anyone down here, I just want real comments on the piece not general ones that don't help me at all.)
- Upraw |
| #9 Upraw[51331] |
| 254.0212.mel.iprimus.net.au |
And ShadowDrac, I will restain myself from commenting on your attempt at a fanfic but please, do the same for me until I get a few more chapters out. I really should ask for this to be taken off the site until I have more of the story so as to prove this is a good story.
- Upraw |
| #10 Upraw[51336] |
| 254.0212.mel.iprimus.net.au |
And ShadowDrac, I will restain myself from commenting on your attempt at a fanfic but please, do the same for me until I get a few more chapters out. I really should ask for this to be taken off the site until I have more of the story so as to prove this is a good story.
- Upraw |
| #11 <font color="669999"><i>person</i></font>[51893] |
| 1Cust206.tnt8.lax1.da.uu.net |
<font color="669999"><i>
actually i kind of liked this. The problem was that it was a little short. Even though you are just submittin this in segments you should try to make them longer. Keep up the good work.
-person</i></font> |
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