#1  [57940] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Okay, all done...
What a chore... :-)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #2 Bane[57947] |
| adsl-61-48-39.atl.bellsouth.net |
| omg dref...now i have to read this WHOLE thing =[ |
| #3 [57951] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Hey, you didn't have to become a rater... :P
Dref |
| #4 CraX[57955] |
| dialups-651.palmer.mtaonline.net |
| Bah i scanned it and i didnt find any pics!! so its ether fan fic or *gulp* a text report!! *shivers* |
| #5 SqueakyMonkey[57957] |
| osh1-754.twcny.rr.com |
| You frighten me Dref, you really do. I don't know what I would rate this, it's just...just...in a class of it's own, I suppose. |
| #6 [57959] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Thanks Rhino... :-)
I won't...
Dref |
| #7 Serori-san[57960] |
| bgm-24-94-56-16.stny.rr.com |
Frankly, this was just disturbing.
10? =P |
| #8 AzNDarKdrAgoN[57963] |
| cx836987-a.pv1.ca.home.com |
| Wow..where do you THINK of all these stories? R-rated Starcraft stories! Nicely written and tied together, although very unsettling. Is there something wrong with ya drefsab..? Personal experiences? =) |
| #9 CraX[57964] |
| dialups-651.palmer.mtaonline.net |
wow.. that was long and withought pics..
good tho =D
CraX |
| #10 [57966] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Azndarkdragon,
I've probably lived the most normal life a person could possibly live. Maybe that's why I write such racy stories?
Hmm, food for thought, however, I'm no psychologist... ;-)
Cheers,
DRef |
| #11 Punck[57968] |
| spider-wg061.proxy.aol.com |
holy shit...
That was a really good story Dref. I always wonder if some kid i bump into the mall or see some kid playing in the arcade could possibly be someone I know over the internet. But I always remember that I live in a small city in Wisconsin where i'm probably the only person who comes here or plays starcraft on b.net.
This story didn't really relate to me but I felt for the characters. The epilogue was extremely smart to put in too. Especially the b.net chat log; that sucks that if someone died who only knew over the internet, I probably would never find out.
Just out of curiosity, how old are you?
This shit was fucked. |
| #12 Punck[57969] |
| spider-wg061.proxy.aol.com |
57969th comment ever>me.
These things (>) rule.
Dref>battlereports. |
| #13 JawaAvenger[57970] |
| d6-22.hntnny.optonline.net |
Two Words:
Kick Arse |
| #14 [plur]zen[57972] |
| 24.108.119.215 |
| why does the lawyer say two people died, when only brandon died? |
| #15 Silent~Death[57974] |
| ip213.saskatoon3.dialup.canada.psi.net |
| Im gonna have to watch my back now in case somebody wants to kill me cause i started flaming em ITS YOU!!! DROP THAT GUN! |
| #16 {88}HawK[57980] |
| 209.128.34.3 |
Haha told ya you'd write another one.
Very well written, grammatically correct, astounding suspense.
In the terms of fantasy fan ficition, or story telling,
9.
Great report... was it a true story? |
| #17 Punck[57981] |
| spider-wg051.proxy.aol.com |
Zen, because Justin killed his mom for turning the power off in the middle of an insane brood war game.
BW>mom
|
| #18 DoomDragon[57983] |
| 36-149.port8.gettysburg.supernet.com |
AMAZING story Dref.
Simply amazing.
In my opinion, this deserves a 10.
--DDoom |
| #19 WarLeaderJustin[57985] |
| spider-wq022.proxy.aol.com |
Uhm, don't know what to say, Drefsab. To tell you the truth, I did feel kind of... strange at the ending. It was really... almost heart-breaking. Damn, you should be a journalist or something. You almost made me cry. And I mean that non-suck up way. Brandon, his whole life dedicated to StarCraft, ruined because of some lamer who thought it would be fun to invade someone's privacy...
This was very disturbing. But, it had some true bits about real human nature. Justin was a complete jerk. He should've been shot to death. But, Brandon... OMFG, this was really... ok, maybe I'll comment later... my head is just swirling after I read this. No time for my "Drefsab rulez" bit... I'll be back in a few minutes. |
| #20 Fractal_Wave[57987] |
| 24.64.214.37.bc.wave.home.com |
You've got pathos up to here, maybe too much. I'm glad I'm not a rater, because rating this is gonna be a bitch.
In strictest terms of writing? I'd have done bits differently, both in terms of plot line & writing. Not bad though.
All the best,
Fractal_Wave |
| #21 DoomDragon[57990] |
| 36-149.port8.gettysburg.supernet.com |
Dref, this is one of the absolute best things I have ever read.
You should write novels for a living, or short stories.
--DDoom
|
| #22 TriggaPlay[57992] |
| dv34m57.lawrence.ks.us |
| After reading that, I don't know what to say. It almost seemed too well written. |
| #23 SlingsNArrows[57993] |
| bgm-24-95-150-230.stny.rr.com |
First off, this shouldn't be rated. Fan fic isn't a BR, although it is fine to put on the site.
Secondly, Dref, I was extremely impressed with the subtle way you developed the characters. I'm not entirely sure if the whole gay child thing was a jab at the gay community or an attempt to breed sexual understanding... and I don't really care, I have to admit that it hindered my feelings of sympathy towards him... I guess I'm homophobic :o(
And that is the highest praise I can give, your story taught me something about myself. Odd really... I didn't "enjoy" the story, but it was very well done. Does that make sense? I hope so. |
| #24 WarLeaderJustin[57995] |
| spider-wq073.proxy.aol.com |
OK, I'm back. Oh my, Drefsab. That story was extremely well-written. This should seriously be read by every StarCraft player. While not as "epic" as <i>Harbingers of Darkness,</i> it nonetheless conveys an image that is all to real for us all. Drefsab, I'm giving you a clear rating.
<center><font size="15"><font color="yellow">100%</font></font</center>
Oh, and thanks for all those BR's in the past that you have written, that have put some life/spark in my sad little excuse for a life. Am I THE Justin? Hope not... I'm not that much of a lamer am I?
This owned. Not because it was written by Drefsab. It just owned.
Oh yeah, and Drefsab owns too! |
| #25 WarLeaderJustin[57996] |
| spider-wq073.proxy.aol.com |
WOAH, WHAT HAPPEND THERE? OK, anyone see anything wrong with...
(spaces are put in to signal not real HTML for this)
< center>< font size="15">< font color="yellow"> COMMENT< /font>< /font>< /center> |
| #26 Darth Sidious[58000] |
| ap02-d11-138.dial.freesurf.nl |
same as #19
simply amzing indeed. im out of words. This story is better than any of the books i've ever read.
Do you write books? are you planning a writing career?
if not, you should.
The other 2 storys were good, but this one is really amazing. Your battle reports were good and funny, but i think your writing skills deserve more than to be used for battle reports. you should write more stories like this.
i guess thats your plan anyway.
the problem is, this is a battle reports page. Instead of reading battle reports, i recently have only been reading your stories (and been looking for the br. enthused would write. -anything comming enthused?), and i think im not the only one.
These stories are damn good, but dont belong on this page. every story you write is less conected to starcraft than the last one. I think you should have your own page for your stories if you plan to proceed writing such stories. (which you should)
of course mark6 could make a link to your page on battlereporting.com
although it doesnt belong in here, and the fan fic idea is getting less original now, i would still give it a 10. |
| #27 CraZy[58002] |
| 24.65.122.105.sk.wave.home.com |
| this is owange dref 10 10 10 Fox give it a 10 I know you want to :p |
| #28 Afro~[potato][58003] |
| adsl-63-200-51-25.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
SHIT INTENSE BITCH JUSTIN BITCH FACESTOMPER
:( |
| #29 BW-sux[58004] |
| spider-ta014.proxy.aol.com |
Umm... Dref... does the hospital you work in have a mental care facility in it? If so, you might want to check into it...
9
BW-sux |
| #30 Darth Sidious[58005] |
| ap02-d11-138.dial.freesurf.nl |
same as #19
simply amzing indeed. im out of words. This story is better than any of the books i've ever read.
Do you write books? are you planning a writing career?
if not, you should.
The other 2 storys were good, but this one is really amazing. Your battle reports were good and funny, but i think your writing skills deserve more than to be used for battle reports. you should write more stories like this.
i guess thats your plan anyway.
the problem is, this is a battle reports page. Instead of reading battle reports, i recently have only been reading your stories (and been looking for the br. enthused would write. -anything comming enthused?), and i think im not the only one.
These stories are damn good, but dont belong on this page. every story you write is less conected to starcraft than the last one. I think you should have your own page for your stories if you plan to proceed writing such stories. (which you should)
of course mark6 could make a link to your page on battlereporting.com
although it doesnt belong in here, and the fan fic idea is getting less original now, i would still give it a 10. |
| #31 Oddity[58007] |
| px1he.ss.wave.shaw.ca |
| Wow |
| #32 Darth Sidious[58008] |
| ap02-d11-138.dial.freesurf.nl |
| heh, why did i post twice? hmm something wrong here. |
| #33 Afro~[potato][58009] |
| adsl-63-200-51-25.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
damn, its like old yeller or bambi dying or whatever
:( |
| #34 Vitruvius[58010] |
| pm483-23.dialip.mich.net |
eh, you are very sick Drefsab. But hey, i mean that in the best of "sick genius" ways.
Good writers keep you interested. I read the whole thing right away.
Heh, keep it up... |
| #35 Deranged~SCV[58011] |
| ci991207-b.edgewd1.ky.home.com |
..
....
....
.....
.....
*speechless*
....
....
....
....
I...
Come...
.....
....Back...
In....
a...Few.... |
| #36 Darth Sidious[58013] |
| ap02-d11-138.dial.freesurf.nl |
"don't belong on this page"
maybe i said it wrong, what i meant was that they are so good they draw the attention from the other battle reports, they make other writers look bad, and your stories just deserve their own page. |
| #37 Wisest~Yoda[58016] |
| pm3-1-140.boscobel.mwt.net |
i thought that justin would "come out of the closet" at the end and they would be gay lovers
bah, this "report" was more fucked up than all the other stuff youve been doing lately put together |
#38  [58022] |
| csdi2-proxy.support.compaq.com |
Dref you are the man. You are the man and for the brief second when I read this final part, you were more the man then ::Nobody:: Only for a little while though....
9
Fox^1
|
| #39 JFeTT[58023] |
| ro04-204-210-189-182.ce.mediaone.net |
| Wow look at all these positive comments. I think that is your que to write short storys, or maybe a novel, make some money off your writing skills. VaginalMagician, That made me laugh. Great story, Keep em comin. |
| #40 Siberian Kiss[58024] |
| 2Cust83.tnt3.cle1.da.uu.net |
Amazing. Simply amazing. I could go on, but there's not much else to say. Please, keep up the great work.
-SK |
| #41 MourningWood[58025] |
| fw8.intuit.com |
Excellent story/writing. This definitely should receive a 10 (and I think you know I'm not kissing up). IMHO this is the best fan-fic/writing submitted to this site. I agree with everyone else that you should pursue a career in writing (in any venue).
I have only one question. At the end the defense lawyer stated, "...both of these deaths were a tragic thing...". I think this should only be one death, but please clarify if I am wrong.
Thanks for writing this. I will direct my friends to read this as I think it is worthwhile.
With much respect,
MourningWood |
| #42 The..Scarab[58027] |
| AC851DDC.ipt.aol.com |
| Can we compare you Steven Speilberg now? |
| #43 The..Scarab[58028] |
| AC851DDC.ipt.aol.com |
oh yeah, and
O W N A G E |
| #44 Bane[58029] |
| fcs01asm.asm.bellsouth.net |
I was j/k Dref =] hehe
I'll read it tomorrow, been out all day and I'm too tired now. Hehe, looks cool =]
Bane |
| #45 Herminator[58031] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
Wow..... that was... insane..
i read the whole thing
i felt so bad for brandon
i'm not homophobic or anything so i didn't feel prejudiced to him, but that was just harsh what happened to him,
sniff
bring back brandon!!!! |
| #46 Sil3nT[58033] |
| IPNAK1-C6.xtra.co.nz |
Heh Shot Dref,
Slings you ass stop being such a narrow minded prick..how can you not feel pity for Brandon because of his sexuality..
The situation was totally against him, the epitomy of unfairness and you come out with a lame comment like that. Is that suppose to support your masculinity or something dont try to hide behind a label of "Homophobia"...cold hearted bitch..
With all due respect though the vocabulary level isn't really up to the standards of a decent novel, improve on that and you've got a winner..
The bit about "2" deaths was slightly perturbing as well..understandable mistake though..Was Justins survival an after thought? |
| #47 Casper...[58034] |
| on-tor-blr-a58-02-489.look.ca |
Damn you are one sick puppy dref.
Sick in a good way though. |
| #48 CynicalMagician[58035] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
Very impressive Dref, I liked it. It didn't have all your usual humour, but it was very well written. THe characters were thought out, and they seemed to be at least somewhat realistic. A good storyline too. I guessed right that the two would meet, but I didn't guess the outcome. Nice job. However, VaginalMagician? **puts on a different hat**
HA HA! IMMATURE HUMOUR IS FUNNY!! HA! YES THAT WAS COOL! VAGINA'S ARE FUNNY! POTTY HUMOUR IS GREAT! THANK YOU MR POOPSAB! OR MAYBE DR. TOILETY PEE PEE! HA! FUNNY!
Geez Dref, I don't care if anyone makes fun of me, but TRY and do it without resorting to changing the first word of my name to genetalia. Do it with wit, do it with suavity, do it with coolness, but calling me the VaginalMagician is on par with saying, "FUCK YOU FAGOT!@!@!!@!!!!!11!!"
-The slightly more Cynical Magician |
| #49 Inssider[58036] |
| d189-235-208.hcvlny.optonline.net |
VERY nice. I haven't been to br.com in a while, came here today and found the top four in the list were by Dref. Clicked the first one, and realized that this was no BR, but it had the name Drefsab so I read through it. And found myself clicking to read the second part. And the third. And the fourth. And the fif- err, the comment section. Great writing.
Looking forward to your next work,
Inssider
|
| #50 SlingsNArrows[58039] |
| bgm-24-95-150-230.stny.rr.com |
| can battle reports be fictional? if I made up a game that never happen but did a BR of it, is that a battle report |
| #51 BW-sux[58040] |
| spider-ta048.proxy.aol.com |
This is the strangest shit I've ever read.
BW-sux |
| #52 Casper...[58041] |
| on-tor-blr-a58-02-489.look.ca |
| BTW this is REALLY FUCKING GOOD. |
| #53 wangsonn[58042] |
| fcs01gsp.gsp.bellsouth.net |
| OMG Dref. This was amazing. |
| #54 teck.lika.hore[58044] |
| cx190935-a.dnpt1.occa.home.com |
creativity: <font color=green size=+2>99%</font>
effort: <font color=green size=+2>99%</font>
scares the shit out of me: <font color=red size=+3>priceless</font>
great for fanfic...not gonna mention my br views again... i'm gonna go change my underwear now
teched up
teck.lika.hore |
| #55 DragonValgarv[58046] |
| aa-13-10.tqci.net |
Wow, now i'm depressed. =(
But this was a GREAT story, not even in terms of SC, but in terms of realistic fiction. Kudos for using a gay main character, I don't think a lot of people would choose to have their protagonist trapped in such a way. If there weren't so many inside jokes/starcraft dependent references (hey, it IS an SC story) I'd suggest submitting it to a publication or something...
That bit about the players never knowing about Brandon's death really hit home, I've had that thought a few times, "If so-and-so dies, we'll never know about it". It makes someone re-examine what their online relationships (and I mean that in the interhuman sense, not "love") really mean to them.
Wonderful, thought-provoking, emotional story, I have to say "thanks" for writing it. =)
~DV |
| #56 Crazy~SCV[58047] |
| AC8BD8B3.ipt.aol.com |
that was the best br ive ever read u did a really good job i hope u continue to write stories like this
|
| #57 KetchupFactory[58049] |
| webcache.hat.netdoor.com |
I dont feel the need to trivialize this report with a Warleaderjustin's "DREFSAB RULES" or some "wow you own!"
Quite frankly this deserves better.
This isnt a well done BR or a mildly entertaining fan fic, its an actual short story, with a compelling plot and intriguing charactors. Brandon was an extremely well rounded charactor, defiantly A quality. I think Justin was villanized a little to much, no depth whatsoever. Perhaps a better relationship with his mother or remorse when he saw how he ruined Brandons life would have made it all the more tragic?
But then, im critiquing this as a short story worthy of published attention, NOT a standard fan fic.
If you want, I have a lost of praise and suggestions I can give you (only my humble opinion of course).
Anyways...incredible.
|
| #58 AzNDarKdrAgoN[58050] |
| cx836987-a.pv1.ca.home.com |
| Wow. You can't have a normal life! You're too revered a battlereports.com writer! We all love you! Hehe..Also finally realized that this series helps us understand that the lamers out there need psychological help, we need tolerance, and Drefsab kicks a$$! |
| #59 Mogalin[58053] |
| d226-98-102.home.cgocable.net |
| IMO, 2-3 sentence paragraphs just don't cut it. Big text making this report look impressive .. didn't impress me. I apologize for my hostility but I just didn't care for this |
| #60 probe[58055] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
| bye probe |
| #61 hoe[58056] |
| adsl-63-200-50-239.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
stfu warpissyjustin
your shit is getting old |
| #62 hoe[58058] |
| adsl-63-200-50-239.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| nice story tho |
| #63 Napoleic[58059] |
| 24.66.179.206.bc.wave.home.com |
Wow.
I think this should go into the english curriculum for grade 12. It seriously has geniune plot, theme, and characters. Drefsab I think it's clear that you really are a high level writer. Continuing on with works like this could only lead you to success. As someone said before, you should submit this story to some sort of publication. Maybe change a few things, like VaginalMaigician, and explain how sc works a bit more (for the mainstream reader), but seriousily, this is significant on so many levels, it should be a widely read short story.
Good luck with future stories, all the best
Napoleic |
| #64 The..Scarab[58064] |
| AC857102.ipt.aol.com |
Um, Whoa..............
I wish I could go cap all the lamers on bnet...
err, anyways, that was awesome. But one thing.
When Brandon read the post about the pic and then the pic was posted...you think MAYBE he got a SMALL CLUE that MAYBE it was his STARCRAFT PLAYING NEIGHBOR?....oh wait, he was gay nm.
(no im not homophobic, you gay freaks) |
| #65 DV[58067] |
| aa-13-10.tqci.net |
"im not homophobic, you gay freaks"?
Please analyze this for logical consistency? |
| #66 pitt[58072] |
| res6486.student.nd.edu |
| duno. Just didn't like it. Teenage angst is great and all, but kids and parents like this make me sick :( |
| #67 WarLeaderJustin[58073] |
| spider-wq043.proxy.aol.com |
| Geesh, all you people who call me a freak just because I admire Drefsab's work... GO STFU! You have no right to talk shit about me just because I think that someone writes beautifully. |
| #68 ProtectorofAiur[58074] |
| 89.colorado-springs-03-04rs.co.dial-access.att.net |
| well the story was interesting and a lot of time was put into it, but trying to combine juvenile humor with a semi-serious story seemed to detract from it. good job tho dref, it was fun to read. |
| #69 The..Scarab[58075] |
| AC857102.ipt.aol.com |
"Please analyze this for logical consistency"(gay nerdy voice)
sorry, you threw that one right at me. err on the bright side, im retarded. Oh and I was just fuckign around with the homophobix thing. I can find only one reason why you seemed to take it personally... |
| #70 The..Scarab[58076] |
| AC857102.ipt.aol.com |
err sorry
::STOP GETTING YOURSELF IN TORUBLE BAD BAD BAD KEEP YO MOUTH SHUT SCARAB:: |
| #71 I am such a gosu speller[58077] |
| AC857102.ipt.aol.com |
| ok no more spam or i get in toruble |
| #72 [58078] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Wow guys, unbelievable<i>!</i>
Thanks for all the great comments. Obviously this is not meant for the mainstream. This story is meant for the NoHunters/BR.com community. There are just too many little things in this story that site visitors and NoHunters take as knowledge for granted that would leave an outside reader baffled.
In order to make this mainstream, it would need a serious revamping and I'm not up for that. I am perfectly satisfied with this story the way it is. It seems to have reached the audience that I meant for it to reach... :-)
About the "two deaths" typo:
I went back and forth for a long time on whether Justin lived or died. That is the last thing I decided on when putting this story together.
Justin did some very bad things and I inevitably decided that killing him off would be too easy. I decided that he needed to live with the consequences of his actions. Also, I wanted him to have the chance to show a little bit of remorse for his actions (which he does in the epilogue).
You can tell by the typo that I went back and forth a few times on it and that is just something I failed to catch even though I read the whole thing through twice before releasing it.
CM, I am still a young, unpolished, and immature writer. It shows eh? However, I DID warn you that I would be nailing your butt for a little disagreement we had last week (although I can't remember for the life of me what it was about) hehe.
KetchupFactory, I am anxious to hear your in depth analysis of my story. Rip it to shreds if you like... (well, not too badly). I'm interested in all types of constructive criticism. However, keep in mind that I am not a professional writer, I work on computers for a living... :-)
Finally, this is a battlereport. Remember chapter 2? There was a battle report in there. There was just more BS on both sides of the report than usual... :-)
Anyway, that's all I can think to say right now. I will probably respond to more of your comments later when I read through it again. For now I need to get to bed. Thanks again.
Cheers,
Dref
|
| #73 Bloodcry[58079] |
| kch-cache5.jaring.my |
Instead of having the opinions of the BR.com community, howabout sending the links to the other SC sites? Sclegacy, SC.org, etc...
Just a suggestion, cause if Drefsab wants the fame (fortune later) that goes with writing, you might as well start small (BR.com) and expand...
Plus, particularly for this story, I don't think non SC players can understand the chat logs, reaver drops, etc... whereas the other SC sites visitors should be more SC savvy.
Nice writing. A bit too graphic from my point of view... dunno why... but kinda reminds me of 8mm... didn't 'enjoy' it, but kinda rocks your mind.
Good job. |
| #74 ~Moronic_Storm~[58080] |
| win-al-pm3-115.pepperlink.net |
Wow...this is a great story. With all the rampant homophobia in the StarCraft community, I too, am surprised you chose to make the main character homosexual. Overall, it makes me consider a lot of things about internet culture. I'd give it a 10...
...oh, BTW, CynicalMagician, do you really take yourself so seriously that you can't laugh at the name "VaginalMagician?" =]
~Moronic_Storm~ |
| #75 Punck[58081] |
| spider-tj074.proxy.aol.com |
| jesus lots o comments. |
| #76 CynicalMagician[58082] |
| px2cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
The little disagreement we had we me trying to get you and phoenix to stop being such jackasses at each other, because it was driving me and the rest of the forum-goers insane.
Beware the ides of march etc. =P
-CM |
| #77 Punck[58083] |
| spider-tj074.proxy.aol.com |
| HOly Shit, 3 comments before I posted my little blurb. |
| #78 Krebster[58084] |
| spider-wl062.proxy.aol.com |
hmmm, whoa, heh, this was rather crazy
Well written story. |
| #79 anal-banana[58085] |
| bcfw1d.ext.bridge.com |
wow Dresf, you are a sick bastard. But I love it.
So.. was Joe gay too? Is that why he was calling Brandon, to call and say "Hey, I've been feeling the same way too?"
=) |
| #80 [58086] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Sorry, thought of more stuff. Moronic reminded of another point that I wanted to talk about a little bit.
What I was trying to do with Brandon was help the reader to understand how scary it is to be a sexually confused teenager.
Brandon worked really hard to fit in with his friend Joe by overdoing the heterosexual act around him. He was not old enough or mature enough to handle "coming out" because he was still discovering his sexuality.
That is why what Justin did to him was so cruel on so many levels.
Cheers,
Dref |
| #81 CyanBloodbane[58089] |
| spider-wa033.proxy.aol.com |
| Dref, good hob. Although thid wasnt as fancy as you tons of flashy BRs, in my mind it was worth more then all those. Great job! |
| #82 Garett[58090] |
| cdm64-157.tyler.net |
| Hehe cool, i live in a small city and i just so happens that [-Whear-] lives like a block away from my school, cool eh? |
| #83 Cyan[58092] |
| spider-wa033.proxy.aol.com |
| Cool, any1 live in Orange County, Cali? |
| #84 ~Moronic_Storm~[58093] |
| win-al-pm3-115.pepperlink.net |
I live in a small town in Alabama. Despite my best efforts, no one else plays StarCraft. =[
~Moronic_Storm~
P.S. BEHOLD the power of the 26.4 dial-up connection!! |
| #85 Cyan[58094] |
| spider-wa033.proxy.aol.com |
| Cool, any1 live in Orange County, Cali? |
| #86 Sonneillon[58095] |
| tsdlsk01d01010135.sk.sympatico.ca |
Ah, *ponders for a minute* a short story like this could be submitted to one of the many pulp fiction magazines out today. I think one of them is called "Strange Tales" or something. Anyways, I'm rambling because this blew me away. I could go on and on about "how great it was" and such... but this was simply one of the best short story/fan fics this site has ever seen.
Make sure you spam the link for this on tons of forums too. For some reason, I feel that this puppy should be read by a lot of people.
And - Cynical, don't take yourself so seriously. Drefsab was just kind of poking fun at your name in a good way.
End clueless ramble.
-Sonny Bouy |
| #87 Zalbag[58096] |
| chi-tgn-gbw-vty2.as.wcom.net |
All i can say is... simply amazing. I mean this was, by far, the best fic i have read at this site. I don't want it to look like i am kissin your ass but it was so well composed. Good Job!
-Zal |
| #88 Lord Venom[58098] |
| sj-isp-nat-pool-34.cisco.com |
THIS DID NOT BELONG HERE! ADMIN! KICK IT OUT!
|
| #89 ~Moronic_Storm~[58099] |
| win-al-pm3-115.pepperlink.net |
Whoa, I just thought of something creepy. Due to bnet's massive lag since the release of Diablo 2 and my crap-tastic connection, I haven't been in nohunters in over a month. For all some people know, I could be dead...not that anyone cares though =[
~Moronic_Storm~ |
| #90 Phoenix-S-[58100] |
| r-174.110.alltel.net |
Amazing.
<h1><font color=gold><center>10</center></font></h1> |
| #91 Zalbag[58101] |
| chi-tgn-gbw-vty2.as.wcom.net |
Lord Venom... STFU!
fan fics are fine here. think b4 u speak.
-Zal |
| #92 KetchupFactory[58102] |
| webcache.hat.netdoor.com |
Drefsab.
Some minor issues (ill go back and print it out, reread, it, and go in-depth tomorrow)
But off the top of my head here goes.
First of all, this REALLY could have been an excellent short story. The heavy presence and influence of SC of course restricts its viewing audience. However if you opened it up to a simple internet chat community (no SC involved) your looking at a serious story dealing with some very serious issues (two are obviously apparent, Homosexuality in an adolscent and of course the fine line between Online and Offline personna's)
However, I found Justin incredibly flat, especially against a charactor of such incredible depth (considering the story length) as Brandon. Yes he had some remorse when he was paralyzed, but lets face it, he was all bad. Now, I know people like that may exists, but for a fictional story purpose, there needs to be contrast. A frustrated Justin whose only way to feel empowered was on the internet. Brandon takes this away, forcing Justin to lash out. Intresting set up, but you should have created more sympathy for Justin, especially since half the story is from his point of view. I realize Justin should not, nor could not be the hero, but he should an a sort of demi-villian. A person who is evil for what he does, not nessecarily for who he is. This of course is somewhat dependent on taste.
There is tremendous praise for this story too though. Please dont think im being negative. I have to say, them meeting in person, living next to each other was brilliance. That really, actually, made the story. At first we are talking about 2 people flaming each other on the internet, one happens to be a wannabe homosexual. Suddenly the story is transformed into a brilliant portryal of the problems of the internet and why privacy must be preserved (and the line between the internet and real-life not erased) sitting alongside a look into the troubles of a teenager discovering his apparently less then popular sexual prefrence at the worst possible time in his life.
Also, the development of Brandons friend was very well done despite his minor part. I guess thats why Justins flatness suprised and disappointed me, seeing as how you obviously have the talent to give your charactors a very deep profile.
Minor point with the ending, also due to opinion. Personnally, I would have rather had Justin die, and Brandon live with the consquence. While Justins mom killing Brandon was an ironic twist, Brandon living with Justins death (despite Brandon being terribly wronged) adds a very Greek Heroism to the story. (The Greeks by the way, believe in that the plot of a story should be driven by the Heros flaws, not his virtues, which made them so tragic. See King Creon in Antigone or Oedipus in Oedipus Rex)
There are some more technical aspects that could be changed (once again, due to opinion) but id be better of discussing them (via chat) or emailing them to you, since, quite frankly, I dont think anyone else cares to hear about them.
Once again, tremendous story, and defiantly makes you the most talented writer (if not Battlereporter) on the site. |
| #93 Cyan[58103] |
| spider-tm014.proxy.aol.com |
| HEHE, aint that a truth though, you dont know if some1 jsut quits, or is dead. When i was in lizard clan, every1 kept worrying if giggles was gonna die(she had haert troubles). |
| #94 ChinksWithGuns[58105] |
| adsl-63-193-153-8.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net |
A great story Dref, really great. It's very sad though, even though it isn't true. Just wondering, what is your position on gays? Would you be part of the group laughing at Justin? Just curious.
CLASSIC use of foreshadowing there, too. Nice touch. Great ending, I praise you for not using the hackneyed Romeo and Juliet ending.
A work of a true author.
10.0 all the way
-Chinks |
| #95 KetchupFactory[58107] |
| webcache.hat.netdoor.com |
| Truthfully, I think a lack of Foreshadowing was cause for an awful lot of the stories brilliance. To me at least, them living next to each other was completely unexpected and made me stop reading, sit back, and just say "wow" |
| #96 Neo-TrunkZ[58108] |
| spider-wq073.proxy.aol.com |
| shesh.....I hope you dont die! |
| #97 KetchupFactory[58109] |
| webcache.hat.netdoor.com |
Id like to take the oppertunity of comment 100 to say that I hate D2.
Its only good in single player (and marginally so), never works in multi anyways, and lags all of bnet.
D2 is the devil |
| #98 KetchupFactory[58110] |
| webcache.hat.netdoor.com |
| DOH! I posted #101 ten seconds after #99! |
| #99 WarLeaderJustin[58111] |
| spider-wq063.proxy.aol.com |
| HOLY FREAK! I come here, look at comments, and reload page. 2 comments added during the time it took me to read them! (about 50 seconds) I reload it after reading those two, and another one pops up! This baby's hot! |
| #100 The..Scarab[58112] |
| AC87648B.ipt.aol.com |
Anyone live on NC beach??
No. Of course you don't. This place is a fucking shithole. We get repeatedly raped by Hurricanes, and tourists harass us daily. $@#&YJ (#&^@!#&Y |
| #101 KetchupFactory[58113] |
| webcache.hat.netdoor.com |
| Thanks Scarab. That wasnt just pointless, which would be Richard Simmons Gay, it was beyond pointless. Kinda made it funny :) |
| #102 [58116] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Ketchup,
Your analysis of my story is excellent. Your points are excellent and well brought out.
You make an interesting point about Justin and although he wasn't the main character in my story. I can see some spots where I would have the opportunity to flesh out his character a bit. Perhaps a little more development in the relationship between himself and his mother is needed.
I think my main reason for keeping Justin alive was because of the fact that the story seemed a little flat without him having the chance to feel any remorse whatsoever.
Thanks for your well thought out analysis. That was really helpful... Next time I'll send you the manuscript before I release it to the public... ;-)
If you have anything else you want to add, and don't want to post here, <a href="mailto:jwestmore@yahoo.com">e-mail me</a>.
Cheers,
Dref |
| #103 The..Scarab[58118] |
| AC87648B.ipt.aol.com |
hur hur, hey uhmmmmmm .....
????
oh..! uh hur hur uhhh sir! wha- whu- wheres tha beach? |
| #104 [58124] |
| csdi2-proxy.support.compaq.com |
Speaking of Gay. My Gay experience:
One time I heard this guy talking about this radio interview he heard that had Patrick Stewart, and Patrick Stewart was talking about Guam. Guam starts with G just like Gay.
Fox^1 |
| #105 ~Moronic_Storm~[58125] |
| win-al-pm3-123.pepperlink.net |
As satisfying as it was for Justin to get shot, I was expecting some sort of stand-off. I know Brandon's character had questions that Justin would have been hard-pressed to answer. Also, I can't help but wonder what Justin was thinking (after being given the computer) while Brandon was getting his father's handgun.
Once again, excellent work.
~Moronic_Storm~ |
#106  [58135] |
| dt031nab.tampabay.rr.com |
| ha |
| #107 RhinoAssUgly[58137] |
| bc-pgr-a53-01-16.look.ca |
For me, there were two powerful things that brought the it home for me, hard : the e-mail which would never be recieved and short little chat log near the end. There was just something about those ... awesome.
I bow down (though by no means am I gonna give up and crumble in the shadow of Drefsab's outstanding, in-depth character talents. I now just have something to work toward) ...
heh I've been positively influenced. |
| #108 RhinoAssUgly[58138] |
| bc-pgr-a53-01-16.look.ca |
One other thing ...
I honestly believe, in the wake of this sudden, massive influx of fan fic, that there should probably be a seperate place to post such things.
I'm not sure how the site creators would go about such thing, or if it would simply be more trouble than it's worth, but when you get down to it, the notion seems like a good one (to me, anyhow).
All said and done, I'd sure like to see all the recent, quality fics being submitted here come together under one heading ... |
| #109 EnThuseD[58143] |
| 1Cust12.tnt5.charlotte.nc.da.uu.net |
| Dref.../insert ass kissing/..damn your good |
| #110 EnThuseD[58144] |
| 1Cust12.tnt5.charlotte.nc.da.uu.net |
ohh yea...can i have some one have your children..
kosher would be the right woman for the job. |
| #111 EnThuseD[58145] |
| 1Cust12.tnt5.charlotte.nc.da.uu.net |
The..Scarab: HAHA you get raped by hurricanes
and i get out of school for them...even tho they come
nowhere near charlotte...shows how great american
schools are. now look at koreans...do they get
out for hurricanes....no...thats why they beat our
ass in BW. makes perfect sense ......right?
|
| #112 Shepherd[58160] |
| cm-24-161-51-171.nycap.rr.com |
Wow. . .this is great and sad at the same time. That will teach you guys to not flame each other anymore, k?
Wow. . .I can't believe I went through all of that. Like someone once said, it made me cried. I know I'm a man, but a man needs to cry sometimes. A REAL MAN CRY LIKE A WOMAN! |
| #113 Scrode[58165] |
| users2.xorchicago.com |
| Well I already commented in the forum, but I have to say, this is awesome Dref. Great Job. |
| #114 jeezumcrow[58167] |
| svwebw04.statestreet.com |
Very well and thought out story, but I think i like to read Jamellan's stuff more hehe, no offense ( I like stupid humor over dark tales).
Since you have put so much effort into this, I'll comment on what I think of this;
One thing I admire is that you have a lot of creative talent and energy to try a lot of new things on this website such as that interactive report and lesbian fiction. But I did not really like some parts of this report, such as the end where he thought only to use a gun for revenge.
I think this is a play on recent news of kids using guns due to extreme depression or hatred. So I felt the plot was not really original or deep. I also thought the plot was easy because it was just a situation where someone was exposed as gay in front of his peers and embarrassed for that, which would lead to a ripe situation of revenge and hate. I am sorry for the strong critism because this was indeed well written and well thought out but thats how i felt after reading this.
The things that i liked was the idea of 2 first person stories going on at the same time and then "colliding" towards the end, that was what pulled me into reading the whole thing cause i wanted to know what the end would be like.
I also think ( not sure if you did it on purpose) the idea of turning a seemingly innocent br.com/nohunters fan fic in the beginning into a more and more twisted and deadly tale of hate and revenge of starcraft players :)
Well, I know these are your first tries into fiction so obviously I cant expect to be reading stephen king material so this is a good story IMO for your first few tries but with your talent you can probably come up with another story that with a lot more plots and depth.
Good Job and make more :)
|
| #115 jeezumcrow[58169] |
| svwebw02.statestreet.com |
| critics always have an easier job then writers hehe :) |
| #116 Crusador[58174] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #117 Crusador[58175] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #118 Crusador[58176] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #119 Crusador[58177] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #120 Crusador[58178] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #121 Crusador[58179] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #122 Crusador[58180] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #123 Crusador[58181] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #124 Crusador[58182] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #125 Crusador[58183] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #126 Crusador[58184] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
You sick, evil, GENIUS!!!!! that rocked you have a sick.......twisted.......ugly.....mind..........
btw, nice poem |
| #127 Afro~[potato][58185] |
| adsl-63-200-51-100.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| i can spam too |
| #128 Afro~[potato][58186] |
| adsl-63-200-51-100.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| see |
| #129 Afro~[potato][58187] |
| adsl-63-200-51-100.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| thats what im doing spamming |
| #130 Afro~[potato][58188] |
| adsl-63-200-51-100.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| mmm spam |
| #131 Afro~[potato][58189] |
| adsl-63-200-51-100.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| anyone have a can of spam |
| #132 Afro~[potato][58190] |
| adsl-63-200-51-100.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| ill stop |
| #133 Afro~[potato][58191] |
| adsl-63-200-51-100.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| now |
| #134 Crusador[58194] |
| ip218.memphis14.tn.pub-ip.psi.net |
er...... oops?????
btw, what's the highest number of rating on BR??? |
| #135 SCV~007[58201] |
| t3o57p50.telia.com |
Drefsab I don't know what to say about this.. it made me think.
This is one of the best things I have read on this site, right up there with YourRoleModels WW3 Way FFA reports.
Hard to rate as a BR though but that ain't my problem... |
| #136 TerranTurtle[58211] |
| 207.198.174.11 |
| Okay, I don't care what anyone else thinks, this has gotten out of hand. Either write REAL battlereports (please..) or change the name of the site to Drefiction.com. |
| #137 Zalbag[58218] |
| chi-tgn-gon-vty28.as.wcom.net |
| Ok turtle, how about YOU write a real battle reportr or look else where for them. |
| #138 TerranTurtle[58219] |
| 207.198.174.11 |
Because I don't have TIME to write a battlereport, and even if I did, I sure wouldn't waste it in order to write down my little victory in a video game over some other person so other people could praise me for it.
Ass-kisser... |
| #139 Zalbag[58221] |
| chi-tgn-gon-vty28.as.wcom.net |
But u have time to read all these battle reports? And u like to read about OTHER people's little victories, but not yours?
chobo-kisser... |
| #140 YouAreDumb[58224] |
| pool0450.cvx25-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net |
Brandon should have shot Justin's mom first, and then force Justin to masterbate at gunpoint while Brandon take's a pic with Justin's digital camera, eventually posting the pic at school bulletin just like Justin did.
Now that would have been a true justice of mutual destruction. :)
BTW, the story and topic is.. hmm.. seriously fucked up. Reminds me of American Beauty, but in a more sickening way. |
| #141 Breeze[58229] |
| mail.net-bg.net |
Looks like you put a lot of effort into that, Dref... I had fun reading it, although I know about the NoHunters comunity just from the comments and BR's, but it seems I know enough because I was laughing most of the time =] And it was quite a good story as well, well deserved 10 for effort and entertainment value... heh
BTW perhaps JV should make a fanfic section or something =] Because now I guess a lot of people will start posting non-BR materials... Like what if I post an article about some player or some interesting news or other... It will get a bit confusing... that's the only thing I have to complain about =P |
| #142 Tc1~micro[58233] |
| cs16030-199.austin.rr.com |
"He didn't have anything to throw now so he threw his body against the bedroom wall. He bounced off and hit the floor hard. "
Lol... thats silly different and funny Yay
9.5 |
#143  [58240] |
| WCS3.NORFOLK.NIPR.MIL |
| Drefsab is a little like heartcutter; he gets an exception on posting whatever he wants because it's always worthwhile. |
| #144 [58244] |
| dt031nab.tampabay.rr.com |
| TT didnt you like make a million stardraft things and various balance shit? |
| #145 Penix-S[58248] |
| users2.chicago.xor.com |
| What was that gay porn site again?? Just curious...for a friend... |
| #146 hooked on phoenix-s-[58252] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
HELOOOOOO FAGS! I RAPE LITTLE CHILDREN! (WELL, LITTLER THAN ME, BECAUSE I'M VERAY SMALL MYSELF (IN THE DICK WAY TOO HAHA!))
I'M GAY! |
| #147 probe[58253] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
| haha |
| #148 probe[58254] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
probe can spam because he's probe.
you cannot because you're not! |
| #149 probe[58255] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
probe can spam because he's probe.
you cannot because you're not! |
| #150 probe[58256] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
probe can spam because he's probe.
you cannot because you're not! |
| #151 probe[58257] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
probe can spam because he's probe.
you cannot because you're not! |
| #152 probe[58258] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
probe can spam because he's probe.
you cannot because you're not! |
| #153 probe[58259] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
probe can spam because he's probe.
you cannot because you're not! |
| #154 probe[58260] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
probe can spam because he's probe.
you cannot because you're not! |
#155  [58262] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
| don't be gay probe |
| #156 probe[58263] |
| 242820hfc23.tampabay.rr.com |
| sorry =} |
| #157 ~Moronic_Storm~[58264] |
| win-al-pm3-118.pepperlink.net |
Wow...161 comments in less than 24 hours...that would be more impressive if a lot of it wasn't spam. =] I keep wondering how ~Whoronic_Storm~ didn't find his way into this story. =P
Living up to my name,
~Moronic_Storm~ |
| #158 Plague[58265] |
| 166.84.172.32 |
All hail Drefsab!
/me bows down to Drefsab
Doesnt this story make you think a little before you call someone gay next time? It may be true. (No I'm not gay)
GW, no words to describe it. |
| #159 TT[58266] |
| pc93dn03.fcc.net |
| No Bob, that's TurtledTerran you're thinking about. Sheesh, after 2 years I can't believe some people STILL confuse us. Even though no one has heard from TurtledTerran in forever... :) |
| #160 Shepherd[58267] |
| cm-24-161-51-171.nycap.rr.com |
Just adding a reply to this. . .wanna to break 200 for dref.
I'm still crying here. |
| #161 Templar569[58268] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
I see a fair amount of fan fiction, both via the
internet and through an
Alternity E-zine I edit, and most of it is an
awful mess of lasciviousness,
ego, and poor grammar. Your story, OTOH, was
thoughtful, well-considered,
and you kept the sexual subtext fairly subtle.
Congratulations on writing
one of the best fan fics I've seen.
I disagree with some of Ketchup's points; I think
that there really are
people who are almost entirely bad. Moral
ambiguity is overrated, and too
many writers think that it's needed to add
artificial depth to their
characters. And while it might have been
interesting to have Brandon
survive rather than Justin, in the end, he
commited pre-meditated murder,
and he wouldn't have had to live with the
consequnces of his actions in the
same manner as Justin. Prison doesn't leave one
with a great deal of time
for introspection, I'd guess, while life in a
wheelchair, precipitated by
your own actions, certainly does. And I liked
that Joe showed himself to be
a true friend, rather than taking the easy way
out of being repelled by
Brandon's misplaced affections. The route of him
being disgusted by
Bradnon's homosexuality would have been an easy
way out.
Anyway, I just really wanted to say, "Great job!"
I was a little
underwhelmed by your first two fan fic efforts,
but this story was
excellent. If you have more tales of this
caliber in you, keep writing and
honing your craft. It'll be well worth your
while.
Oh, and if you care, I am only an occasional
visitor to NH, as Templar569
(yes, I know, very original, and I fear my skills
as a critic far outstrip
my skills as an SC player), and I didn't feel
that I needed to have an
intimate knowledge of the people there, or even
of SC in general, to enjoy
your story.
Templar569
"What can change the nature of a man?" - The
Nameless One
|
| #162 [58269] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
This is in response to Chinks, comment #98 **snip** "<i>A great story Dref, really great. It's very sad though, even though it isn't true. Just wondering, what is your position on gays? Would you be part of the group laughing at Justin? Just curious.</i>"
IMO, its very difficult to judge the group of laughing kids harshly. A picture like the one they experienced was not something they saw every day and most of them probably had no idea how to react to it.
Just because most of the kids in the group were laughing doesn't necessarily mean they had anything against homosexuals.
Cheers,
Dref |
| #163 Templar569[58270] |
| 168.168.234.60 |
Hi again, Dref. I see that I can post now, but I'm glad you shared what I had to say with everyone. I just finished rereading your story, and I enjoyed it just as much as before. A reread allowed me to pick up on the irony of buying the digital camera and the game on the same day, for example. I did pick up a couple of errors in the story the second time, from an English standpoint, but they did little to detract from your story.
Kudos! |
| #164 Templar569[58275] |
| 168.168.234.60 |
Hi again, Dref. I see that I can post now, but I'm glad you shared what I had to say with everyone. I just finished rereading your story, and I enjoyed it just as much as before. A reread allowed me to pick up on the irony of buying the digital camera and the game on the same day, for example. I did pick up a couple of errors in the story the second time, from an English standpoint, but they did little to detract from your story.
Kudos! |
| #165 I AM COMPUTAR MASTAR OF KNOWLIDGE!!![58279] |
| AC876748.ipt.aol.com |
| HU*&jdddm )(*&#!25*&)@!#)_@udhkm q #edC |
| #166 Anti-Progress[58282] |
| bay4-31.daktel.com |
I leave for one day and Dref already got 150 comments?!?!? Sheesh.....Dref sure did a good job this time. The kinda stuff in this story is scary...although there isn't much of a chance that my neighbors would be lamers on b.net.......I don't think that a 60 year old would be flaming his way onto NoHunters. Awsome Fan Fic though, it really made me think, and that's what we need around here. More BR's that make people think. Although it's more of a fan fic than a BR. So then enough with the mindless ramblings.
But I do still think that Dref has the kind of writing genius of Stephen King. But Scarab said Dref is like Spielberg....hm......yup, I guess that would work too.
Is it just me or are there alotta comments on here? I skipped through 120 - 163.
You know that when I clicked on this to read it that there were 150 messages? Now there's over 170. AND ALL THIS IN LESS THAN 2 DAYS!
I'm rambling again....I'll shut up |
| #167 Anti-Progress[58283] |
| bay4-31.daktel.com |
Did I mention that I have no internet provider? I'm a celestial being that glides through the plane of the internet. (actually I have a 28.8k connection)
Oh yeah, I forgot to say that Dref should write a book :) and don't contradict me on this again Cynical *snickers* I like toilet humor too |
| #168 Phobos_ColZ[58288] |
| spider-wi023.proxy.aol.com |
Wow. I am thunderstruck. This is extraordinary writing, and I know a little somethign about writing. Dref, you should definatly consider submitting something to one of the many magazines that publishes stories from submiters. You have a gift. As for this story, it was a bit unlikely, bit something like this certainly could happen. The fact that some people get so caught up in winning is why tradgedies like this can happen. The number of instances in which people have gotten hurt over sports events is getting higher and higher and this story is one possiblity of how this trend could migrate to computer games. But this is a great story. The writing was very well done. It kicked ass. Keep it up. I lok forward to seeing your reports. Vaginal Magician had me rolling on the floor.
As ever,
Phobos_ColZ |
| #169 Talon[58291] |
| cx110054-a.pwy1.sdca.home.com |
anyways, i'm sure we all learned something from this:
It's really bad to be gay. |
| #170 probe[58295] |
| 24.28.20.23 |
so, talon, you're really bad?
you bad boy you:(
.5jap |
| #171 Phobos_ColZ[58300] |
| spider-wi063.proxy.aol.com |
| Also, MoronicStorm, what town in Alabama, cuz I live in a city in Alabama. |
| #172 Hostile~SCV[58304] |
| spider-wn043.proxy.aol.com |
| This was amazing. So many people have given loads of criticism already, so I'm not going to bother. Dref, you are the man. |
| #173 ~Moronic_Storm~[58306] |
| win-al-pm4-170.pepperlink.net |
What city? Chances are you've never heard of Brilliant, AL. =]
~Moronic_Storm~ |
| #174 Sp|nE[58329] |
| dialup0508-pri.voicenet.com |
this was really cool. Dref's reports are just about all i read anymore on this site.
Dref - this was just flatout quality stuff. I enjoyed it a lot. It was certainly disturbing, but what good is a story if it doesn't make you think things over a bit at the end?
Lastly, i dont want to critique you, but i couldn't help but notice that he killed justin with a shotgun, 8 feet away from him. obviously you dont know much a/b guns, because first off shotguns dont shoot bullets, they shoot lots of little pellets that spray around. This makes em very effective at close distances, and increaseingly less effective at long distances. At a distance of 8 feet, justin would have a large hole in his chest. he'd be dead on the spot, with little pieces of his body lying around the room.
=P |
| #175 Eradicate~Me[58351] |
| spider-wi054.proxy.aol.com |
Clearly the best BR I have ever read (took me 30 mins) in all that I have. So my respects paid for dref in every way, shape, and form. I've never thought about reality vs Internet and killing sprees, but now I might consider buying a gun...
Pure Genius Dref, Pure Genius.
Eradicate~Me |
| #176 [58356] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
hehehe Sp|ne,
Thanks for the comment. I was not actually thinking along the lines of a shotgun. When I said "handgun" I was thinking something more along the lines of a small calibre pistol.
However, you are correct, I know very little about guns since I've never owned one... :-)
To everyone else who has posted nice things since the last time I checked this comments section... thanks again... :-)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #177 probe[58361] |
| 24.28.20.23 |
| spine, where the hell did you get the idea of handgun meaning shotgun, you sick bastard you? |
| #178 CujoKnight[58362] |
| dialup-209.246.179.79.Atlanta1.Level3.net |
| One word, wow. This story was very moving and well done! keep up the good work!! I would've never thought up an ending like that. But it fits the story. I look foreward to your future fan-fics |
| #179 crispyfix[58363] |
| sy-ce-01.free.net.au |
This story was very well written and had a lot of depth, you obviously put a lot of thought and effort into this.
However, I believe that you wrecked it near the end with the mother beating to death Brandon, with a rolling pin. That attempt at trying to fit this somewhat humourous bit into the climax of the story really wrecked the mood.
I'm not trying to be the next EMS, just stating my opinion. It was excellent. |
| #180 ZergPlague[58379] |
| spider-tk074.proxy.aol.com |
| there came a point where i couldnt stop reading it until it was done... wow. |
| #181 T_Mac[58395] |
| on-tor-blr-a58-03-872.look.ca |
Hmm i think this was some fucked up shit dref :)
But this made it ALL WORTH IT
Regards,
Princess Purrwin
Mark6
I dont think this is a 10 though ;( |
| #182 [58409] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
T_Mac, haha...
crispy, I didn't write the ending to be humorous.
If you remember, the mother came to the door, "<i>wiping powdered hands on her apron</i>" In other words she was baking.
This is meant to foreshadow the ending.
When the mother hears the gunshot, she comes running upstairs in a panic to see what has happened. Chances are very good she would not think to set the rolling pin down first.
She gets upstairs and she sees her son lying shot and bleeding on the floor. The obvious shooter is Brandon and the mother goes into a fury using the only weapon she happens to have handy...
I don't know about you, but I don't find that very funny... ;-)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #183 GammaRayBurst[58428] |
| ip189.san-francisco56.ca.pub-ip.psi.net |
Holy mackeral, this was good! Very captivating and thought-provoking. I am beginning to agree with everyone else that there needs to be a "fan-fic" section, so that reports like these don't go into the other category (or the starcraft category).
Nice.
-GRB |
| #184 Shepherd[58434] |
| cm-24-161-50-145.nycap.rr.com |
my ten cents more.
in the end. . .
<br>
<i>Chat log from Channel NoHackers:
P-Mac: Anyone seen Samson around lately?
VaginalMagician: I haven't seen him for awhile. His BRs kick ass though.
BenDoverZ: !seen Samson-RK-
~NoHackers: Samson-RK- was last seen in this channel 15 days, 9 hours, 32 minutes, and 47 seconds ago.
P-Mac: Sheesh, I hope he writes another BR soon</i>
<br>
That really makes me think. What if someone over the net suddenly died due to some stupid reason. And that guy was popular on bnet. It's really sad because a lot of people look up at him only to find he vanished from internet without a trace. In a sense, it's really scary thought. It's also really sad because when I look at Nohunters, I look at Nohunters as a single community that exists within bnet where we hang around as a "big family" and play games.
|
| #185 [58437] |
| csdi2-proxy.support.compaq.com |
Drefsab I read it again. This thing was so dam good. :D
I am bored and waiting for my God ::Nobody:: to hurry and do his report :D
Fox^1 |
| #186 SixtyWATZ[58443] |
| spider-tf041.proxy.aol.com |
| Sorry i didn't read it earlier. This is a masterful peice of writing, and if longer could be compared to maybe even a book? It had a great plot and a great climax. Kudos to you dref and keep it up. |
| #187 Phobos_ColZ[58445] |
| spider-wg063.proxy.aol.com |
Briliant, Alabama? Hahahahahhaha. Never heard of that. Actually, M_Storm, I'm from Mobile, but considering all the small towns around it, its a wonder you have an ISP.
|
| #188 Slayangel[58463] |
| pool0354.cvx9-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net |
Good stuff, shows promise. You're currently the big fish in a very little pond as far as writing goes and I would encourage you to start testing deeper waters.
~Slay |
| #189 necrosausage![58464] |
| vienna03.chello.at |
i gave every single one a 10.
the first one started off slowly, but after the 2nd one i was totally soaked in.
u own man. |
#190  [58467] |
| proxy.tirol.chello.at |
oh and u know i really really hate fan fiction
but this is ownage
|
| #191 ~Moronic_Storm~[58468] |
| win-al-pm4-159.pepperlink.net |
Brilliant, AL is in Marion County, near the north-east corner. The phone lines suck, so I'm lucky to get a 28.8 connection (usually 26.4) but, by some miracle, I always get green lag on bnet.
~Moronic_Storm~ |
| #192 Davy[58470] |
| ip633.bart1.ok.pub-ip.ionet.net |
| I'm depressed. Well written though =[]. I own Mogalin btw. |
| #193 Death Hawk[58491] |
| cr784859-a.lndn1.on.wave.home.com |
Wow, now that I've read the whole thing, and have waited a bit to return to normal, that was an interesting story.
After reading most of the comments, I agreed with Ketchup, that it should have a "greek" ending. To me, it had the same feeling as Oedipus Rex, when I read parts of it. In Oedipus Rex, Oedipus Rex's destiny is to kill his own father and marry his own mother. Thinking that he can escape his destiny, the guy that was supposed to kill him let him free. Oedipus grows up, and eventually, ends up doing exactly what is said above. He is forced to live with his grief when he finally finds out that his destiny was fulfilled.
I am still interested if anyone knows where I can find the story, since I only heard the plot from my drama teacher.
Dref, try and get back into sc bring. Otherwise Mark or JV should make a fanfic section. I realize that there was a br in section 2, but it really does take a lot away from the other writers.
CynicalMagician, I know that you didn't like the name twist, but just take a look at some of the other people he made fun of. (GameOverZ)
Anyways, keep writing
Later,
Death Hawk |
| #194 Death Hawk[58493] |
| cr784859-a.lndn1.on.wave.home.com |
btw, I'd probably give that an 8 or 9. It could still use a bit of work, even though I am not sure what, since I am not a writer/critic.
Death hawk |
| #195 Death Hawk[58494] |
| cr784859-a.lndn1.on.wave.home.com |
btw, I'd probably give that an 8 or 9. It could still use a bit of work, even though I am not sure what, since I am not a writer/critic.
Death Hawk |
#196  [58504] |
| dsl-gte-jr13661-1.linkline.com |
| Dang that was some fine writing. Drefsab is the Shakespeare of BR.com |
| #197 Spuzz[58507] |
| jfsn-02-18.dialup.netins.net |
...
...
...This was <i>fucked up</i>. Good story, though. I tend to agree wtih KetchupFactory about Justin, however. He seemed very similar to one of your earlier characters (was Jimmy his name?). Both boys fought with their mothers (who retaliate by revoking computer access), both boys were real-life punks with shitty attitudes, etc. You gave them both the "villan" role and their home lives reflected this. Realistic? Probably. But a bit predictable.
In addition, I found Brandon to be a bit too "perfect". He's a kid penting up homosexual feelings and sexual confusion (hell he got a woody while in the car with his best friend) but we don't see him really dealing with this. He's a friendly guy who writes good battlereports and has a good reputation in NoHackers, and he's on good terms with his parents. If I was in that kid's shoes, I would have been even more pissy during high school than I was (which was very pissy).
Well fuck, I have to get offline now and I haven't said all the things I want to. Let me leave saying that overall this was an excellent story. You can tell it was excellent because it made your readers <i>feel</i> something, which is more than most crap published today.
Spuzz |
| #198 [58517] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Wow... Thanks Necro... my rookmark > all
JV, heh...
Death Hawk, I like my ending, but you're right, it could have gone either way. As you can see, I thought quite a bit about who should live and who should die... ;-)
Spuzz, I made Brandon good to contrast Justin's badness. But whether Brandon was good or bad was not really my true focus. My focus was to try and get the reader to feel empathetic towards Brandon's struggle with his sexuality.
The key to the story was being able to understand that Brandon did nothing to deserve the treatment he received. Giving his character bad qualities could have taken away from that.
Also, you are right, Justin's character does have some simlarities to my original Jimmy character. However, I don't think his actions were entirely predictable. Brandon's actions were what really drove the story. Even in the case where Justin snuck into Brandon's house, it was Brandon's masturbation that caused Justin to change his plans... :-)
Anyway, enough commenting for now. Thanks again guys... :-)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #199 Sp|nE[58530] |
| dialup0257-pri.voicenet.com |
he said handgun?? ahh i thought it said shotgun. guess im hallucinating again =P
Dref, again, this was really cool. I hope you do more things like these in the future..are you? |
| #200 Napoleic[58536] |
| pntn02m05-114.bctel.ca |
You've heard my praise before. I just want to add that I also would like to see fanfic get its own section now that there are a lot of people writing for it. (Dref, RAU, Myself, and a few more who's names I cant think of off the top of my head)
But then nobodies paying them to do this site so they can do what they damn well want to ':) |
| #201 livingexception[58574] |
| spider-tk023.proxy.aol.com |
Damn, I leave for a week of camp, and come back to find Drefsab has once again warped the Starcraft world in some twisted way. These short stories are getting stranger and stranger. The story and descriptions were gripping, nice plot,creative indeed. The one thing I would have changed: Had Justin died, I think the story in the end would have had more effect. I would also have taken out the chat logs, because it somewhat kills the mood.
9, only not a 10 because it's not a BR but a fanfic. |
| #202 shit[58580] |
| spc-isp-van-uas-28-53.sprint.ca |
| GAY GUYS SHOULD DIE |
| #203 Cyan[58590] |
| spider-wj054.proxy.aol.com |
| shut up you bigot. The reason we ahve to learn history is because of idiots like you. Dont repeat the sme mistakes, ahem descriminatino against blacks and jews, now its gay people. |
| #204 Spuzz[58602] |
| jfsn-01-236.dialup.netins.net |
Drefsab,
"Predictable" was a poor choice of words for me. I didn't mean that Justin's actions were predictable, I meant the whole home life situation was...well...(I hate to use this word)...cliché. You know: Brandon, the good guy, has a loving home where he doesn't seem to have any problems with his parents, while both Justin and Jimmy are shown arguing with their mothers, calling them bithces when disciplined, etc. In addition, I don't think either "bad" boy had a father mentioned in their respective story. You see what I'm getting at? That is what I meant eariler when I said: “Realistic? Probably. But a bit predictable.”
However I'll be the first to admit I'm probably grasping at straws. Justin's mother was an improvement over Jimmy's mother (in my opinion) for several reasons; she 1) wasn't a drunken bitch who beat up her kid, 2) she was baking, leading me to the assumption that she was trying to run a household, and 3), she went into sort of a frenzy when she saw what Brandon did. She seemed like a loving mom.
Then again, as I'm typing this I sort of get the idea that it's apples and oranges. If I remember correctly, the story of Jimmy was to prove the point that assholes on bnet may have reasons (however misdirected) for their behavior, while Justin's assholeness wasn't a product of his home life--although it certainly added fuel to the fire. Bleh, I'm making a big deal out of a problem that doesn’t exist.
Now about Brandon: You said that giving Brandon bad qualities may have taken away from the fact that he didn't deserve what Justin did. I concur, but there is a difference between <b>bad</b> qualities and <b>human</b> qualities, and I <i>do</i> think that creating more detail to Brandon's internal strife would have added to his character...stuff like "What's wrong with me?". Frankly, though, that would probably take a lot more time and space then you can realistically submit on a battlereports web site. It <i>was</i> rather significant that Brandon had such a strong reaction to being called gay (a real nice touch!).
Well, that's it, I guess. I've probably analyzed this story more than anything I've ever read in high school and college, and all my critiques are insignificant, super-anal nitpicks. :P At any rate, it was a great read and it's nice to see something with a real-life social commentary in it.
Spuzz
|
| #205 ~ZC~Burg632[58604] |
| PPPa67-ResaleWausau1-4R7060.saturn.bbn.com |
| Dref see my coment after the 3rd part. hehe. It's going to be the last one there most likely. hehe. YOU GOT A TYPO in the 3rd part that is out lined in the 3rd parts comments. =) good work on the whole thing. =) |
| #206 ~ZC~Burg632[58605] |
| PPPa67-ResaleWausau1-4R7060.saturn.bbn.com |
| Punck what city in WI. hehe you might be surprised at how many Sc/Bw players in WI. hehe heres one now. =) |
| #207 [58628] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Thanks Spuzz,
You are right. I was trying to keep the story moving. As long as the reader understood that Brandon was not yet ready to come to terms with his sexuality, then I accomplished my purpose. I tried to do this by having Brandon act overly heterosexual when he was around his friend Joe.
Anyway, thanks for the critique... :-)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #208 ~LifeIsPeachy~[58641] |
| 216-164-246-26.s534.tnt3.sbo.ma.dialup.rcn.com |
My initial impression was that Brandon = [B]rando[N]. I quickly realized however, that there was no relation between the two. Except that they are both gay.
That was probably the best thing I have ever read on this site. God knows why people would want this out of here and into some obscure forum. And one thing I have to say: If writing stories for money appeals to you, go right ahead. But if you are content doing this great work on less mainstream topics, for the benefit of this community, then great! This sort of thing is what makes this site and the people here is that they do their work for pure pleasure. No deadlines, no pressure, no rules or regulations or any judges complaining about plagerism (sp?). Well, whatever anyone says I don't see this site dying anytime soon. As if 150 people haven't already said it, great story! |
| #209 Lady Paladin[58645] |
| 1Cust222.tnt28.tco2.da.uu.net |
Well Dref,
If you don't know by now.. I can honestly saythat you have truly set the example for others to follow.
This entire story was a roller coaster ride for me. Like mark4 said, I couldn't stop reading it once I started.
At first, I thought of it as a humurous bash on teenage boys. Then it turned into something that most of us would surely fear IRL. Next.. it turned into a serious issue that could set a precedence in some future law suit. And then finally, the trauma that it caused for all parties involved.. and the chat log/ unread email note just completely blew my mind.
I was so completely shocked and amazed, that I had to go outside and take a walk. This... has never happened to me before. I'm a college student with an athletic scholarship.. I also read plenty of books...
And never before, Not Ann Rose, Steven King, Bram Stoker or even any modern day film producer has ever given me the reaction, and heavy pressure that I felt in my heart when I was finished reading this.
Two words for you. Prestigious and Forthright. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more of your material on this incredible website.
with much respect,
Lady P. |
| #210 You wouldnt know me[58648] |
| hlfx20-27.ns.sympatico.ca |
Poor Poor Brandon i could feel his pain. you should make that into a movie and have a big
court case in the end like on matlock |
| #211 You wouldnt know me[58649] |
| hlfx20-27.ns.sympatico.ca |
Poor Poor Brandon i could feel his pain. you should make that into a movie and have a big
court case in the end like on matlock |
| #212 [58650] |
| rliv236.infocom.com |
Wow thanks Lady, :-) that was an awesome comment. Its nice to know that people are affected by my little story.
btw... what are you doing tonite?.. ;-)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #213 OnCrack...[58695] |
| hlfx52-194.ns.sympatico.ca |
| You should write a book or something...hehe |
| #214 Joe.Smurf[58697] |
| pm1-22.sj.redshift.com |
| umm i read all these responses and i tihnk its sad that no one takes this more serious ..this was just a pretty scary/disturbing/real possibility and i tihnk that everyone passed up the lesson to be learned here... be nicer to ppl just cus you can get away with sayign something you wouldnt say to there face doesnt mean it wont hurt them as much.. that was just an outstanding story.. i feel gay complimenting you like this but it was just beyond expression how deep it was.. yeah. |
| #215 ~13~ShAdOwDrAc[58732] |
| spider-tp032.proxy.aol.com |
| Joe, totally agree with you on how its deep and all that stuff, but when you say that people aren't taking it seriously, you be wrong. Just cuz people write like its not really a big deal doesn't meen that they don't KNOW it's a big deal and all that. Just my two cents to flame half your comment :) . |
| #216 Lady Paladin[58752] |
| 1Cust159.tnt14.tco2.da.uu.net |
Dref,
You are most welcome.. as you do truly deserve it.
As far as what I was doing this evening.. after I made my BF read your story, [(and I dragged him off of Bnet, its his game afterall, I just "borrow it" hehehe)] we went out to see the new Harrison Ford movie. Another must see for all. Believe me when I tell you that even a film such as that, did not move me the same way as your story did!
I don't come on much anymore, but if you don't mind, please take the time to email me when you publish material of this caliber here to the site. I would really appreciate it!
LdyPaladin@aol.com (No "A" in Lady) |
| #217 Zumbooruk[58760] |
| 202-27-178-110.dialup.xtra.co.nz |
We are very privileged to have a writer of Drefsab’s caliber at Battlereports.com. This is truly outstanding.
I would have told the very ending from Justin’s point of view, after Brandon left to get the gun. It was clear that Brandon was going to get the gun at that stage, so Justin could have been thinking his first thoughts of remorse while Brandon was gone, so as not to make him a pure villain. Justin’s last moments could be watching his mother attacking Brandon as he lay, choking blood, on the floor.
Some have compared this to ancient Greek tragedies, but those, I think, tend not to have villains, and the hero is brought down by his own vices, as some have said. Brandon’s true demise (his shame, not his death), however, was not brought upon himself by any vice except his homosexuality, which is no vice at all. Justin alone bears responsibility for that. I would suggest a comparison to American Beauty (one guy has suggested that already) – funny, but chillingly serious, and surreal, but relevant.
I’m not entirely convinced by Justin and his frying pan. Evidently his plan was to beat Brandon unconscious with the frying pan, tie him up and photograph him in women’s clothing? That’s an unlikely plan, I think, for a sixteen year old, even one so evil and bent on revenge as Justin, particularly as he would surely be imprisoned when Brandon informed the police (unless he managed to hit him perfectly the first time so as never to be seen - not something a scrawny geek would rely on). I think a better effect could be achieved if Justin happened to notice Brandon masturbating at his computer through the window while rereading the battlereport, and then, opportunistically, conceived his daring plan. This makes it a more immediate decision that Justin, had he had longer to consider, may not have carried out. That way, the enormity of Justin’s wrongdoing can be considered a little out of character, drunk with immediate lust for vengeance, not premeditated. Afterwards, he could be a little scared and greatly regret by what he had done. Hey – what if Brandon had figured it out, or found out some way and gone to Justin’s house the first time with the intent to kill him, and found that he had already killed himself? That, perhaps, would be a little too close to American Beauty.
Justin had posted the picture at the Battlereporting.com forum, right? Surely people wouldn’t be surprised that he wasn’t returning, having seen the picture, assuming he was too embarrassed? Even after Admin deleted it, news of the picture would spread. Alternatively, reporters would have talked to Brandon’s friends, who would have mentioned the picture – clearly Brandon’s motive, thus being news, and the guys at battlereporting.com would have made the connection.
Finally, <strong>this was excellent.</strong> When CynicalMagician disagreed you had the ability to write a novel, I tacitly agreed, but now I am convinced. This is prose to a very high standard.
|
#218  [58807] |
| 63.162.53.253 |
| This was creepy. WOw. |
| #219 BackStabingLiar[58815] |
| 63.239.42.130 |
i totally enjoyed this piece, drefsab, its something to really be proud of. I dont want to kiss your ass, but i really do appreciate this for what it is. (cause im gay....heh jk)
Something that is so fucked up to me though... some of the comments here have left me convinced that a lot of readers look at Justin as the one who did Brandon worse, completely ignoring the fact that Brandon murdered Justin. I know the overtones are there for you to sympathize with Brandon even at the end, and im sure that those feelings were some of your motive for making Justin live. Its as if a part of you is mad at Justin for getting to survive when Brandon is in his grave. But Brandon is clearly the kid who's more fucked in the head. Maybe its a question of morality. Maybe even you disagree, i dont really know.
This is the best aspect of your story, IMO Drefsab. I dont even know who you sympathize with. Your style was objective right to the end, and the opinions are left to the reader.
Great suspense, it reminded me of American Beauty too, but of American History X a little bit more.
thanks for the story
peace |
| #220 [58821] |
| as530052.infocom.com |
All right, more stuff to comment on...
Doh Paladin, I was going to see if you wanted to do dinner and a movie. Your a college student (like me), you're on an athletic scholarship, and you like my stories. It doesn't get any better than that... hehehe. I will put your e-mail on file though... ;-)
Zem, interesting points...
I think the reason I switched back to Brandon's point of view is because I wanted to explore the intense feelings that he had upon discovering that Justin was the guy who had destroyed his life (in his opinion). Also, the reader got to experience Justin's emotions when he discovered that "Samson" was his next door neighbor. I didn't want to rob the reader of the opportunity to see how Brandon felt when he discovered that "FaceStomper" was his neighbor... :-)
I'm not entirely convinced that I would have liked Justin feeling remorse before the Epilogue. Having Justin feeling remorse before having to deal with the consequences of his actions changes his personality significantly and I don't know if I want that... :-)
I can see where you're coming from on the "frying pan" scene. My thinking there was having Justin knock Brandon out on the first shot before Brandon knew what was happening. The key here IMO, was to get Justin out of the house without being discovered. I guess I didn't give Justin's plot as much thought because I knew that he wouldn't have to use it anyway.
Finally, people post prank pictures up at these sites all the time. Even though Brandon knew it was real, that doesn't necessarily mean that all the other site visitors would think the same. I suppose I could have had Brandon read a couple of the responses to Justin's message. Like, "This is bullshit, whoever is posting this crap needs to be banned." But I don't think people would assume that Brandon would just leave the site after an incident like that.
Again Zem, thanks for your comments. I can tell you read this story carefully and thoroughly... ;-)
BSL, I'm glad my story messed with your mind. I do try to be as objective as possible, however, I do tend to sympathize more with Brandon... :-)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #221 binjured[58859] |
| 1Cust129.tnt3.chi2.da.uu.net |
| awesome. |
| #222 DarkMarine[58861] |
| spider-ti074.proxy.aol.com |
| Art Man Fucking Art! |
| #223 Facestomper[58917] |
| p127.netwood.net |
HaHaHa......
How did you know the story behind my injury?
No, seriously...... |
| #224 Oddjob0047[58920] |
| cache.riverfalls.spacestar.net |
Damn Dref, this is another outstanding story type report thing, like that one story a few months back about the kid who was a fuck-up in school, all I can remember is the ending... "his mom would be drunk again, and might not wake him up for school the next day. Maybe this day wasn't so bad after all."
You ever consider becoming an author or something? |
| #225 Oddjob0047[58921] |
| cache.riverfalls.spacestar.net |
Damn Dref, this is another outstanding story type report thing, like that one story a few months back about the kid who was a fuck-up in school, all I can remember is the ending... "his mom would be drunk again, and might not wake him up for school the next day. Maybe this day wasn't so bad after all."
You ever consider becoming an author or something? |
| #226 [58949] |
| 64.30.215.28 |
| I deleted the ratings from the first 3 parts so Dref's Rookmark wouldn't be grossly inflated. Its what Dref wanted, don't shoot me! |
| #227 Snork~Dimmy[58964] |
| async164-per2-isp-2.nas.one.net.au |
wow, i read the 1st part thinking i'll read the rest later but damn it was addictive and before i knew it 30 minutes had past and i had finished all of the 4 parts, that was great. A report in a class of it's own, looking forward to more of them. I would have commented sooner but didn't read it until then, i skimmed thru the 1st part when it got released but ran out of time and didn't get to read it all until just then.
10
bye,
Snork~Dimmy |
#228  [58965] |
| a1-1a250.neo.rr.com |
Wow. This was disturbing, yet had a ring of truth around it all the same.. as if something like this *could* happen actually in today's age. It weaves so many "issues" together.. the random lameness found on bnet, homophobia, typical teenage jealousy, etc etc.. into one grand fabric.
I'm impressed. Disturbed a bit, but impressed. |
| #229 Dom[58995] |
| 209-122-232-106.s360.tnt4.sbo.ma.dialup.rcn.com |
ditto Snowsquall
very impressive story
period |
| #230 Limp_Bizkit666[59107] |
| cache.bora.net |
hehe, i doubt ANYONE will read this, especially after 200+ comments.
=]
not only that, my name is just another name.. no "raters" tag and no "terrier" tag..
so, i'll just be ignored. =]
anyways, dref.. i love you too much...
i wanted to write stuff you have written, but i never had the determination nor the intelligence and your expert writing skills to finish what i thought of...
i'm just idea, but you go on a step further and FINISH what you start. and i admire you for the courage and all...
good stuff, dude.
no doubt a 10.... just one or two mistakes that someone else have pointed out probably in the midst of flames, praises and random spam.... (hehe, finding mistakes in a gosu reports makes you look cool... =] )
anyways, every successive report is better than the others and that constant improvement shows your true skills and shines that "rater" tag...
good luck and lead the rooksmark and become the most famed BRer there is.. =]
byeya
p.s-hope i catch you in 10 years.. =] |
| #231 Dr.Zhivago[59286] |
| proxy1-external.bremtn1.wa.home.com |
Argh
|
| #232 Slayangel[59385] |
| camlib.cust.vcnet.com |
Now you folks are really over-reacting.
Lady-Paladin - You had to take a walk after this?!? You know I spent some time at Longmont High School in Colorado and I had some friends who would now be alumni of Columbine HS in Littleton. When I heard the news of the all too real shootings there ~that~ affected me and I wondered if some of my friends little borthers or sisters might now be victims. Perhaps you should become more involved in your community and in the larger world around you so that real life starts affecting you more than fan fic about PC game enthusiasts? SC is way out there in the fringes and while one day I hope it is as popular and respected as lets say, chess, it will always be, just a game.
I can almost guarantee that somewhere on your campus last week someone was assaulted or raped. Someone in your city was probably murdered. Somewhere somone's child was abused or neglected. If anything I hope Drefsab's story has affected you enough to take a look at just one of these cases, and take a walk around the block comtemplating it.
To all - Now that you've given Dref a head big enough that he needs a wheelbarrow to roll it around in I hope you'll stop with the comments like "a writer of his caliber... br.'s shakespear"...etc. To carry my "big fish in a very little pond" analogy one step further a fish can never get any bigger than the pond it swims in.
~Slay
|
| #233 [59433] |
| as530066.infocom.com |
Slayangel... :(
I thought it was a pretty good story. Did you not like it?
It is <i>just</i> a story, however, I think there are a few things you can take from it and apply in real life.
Just because I wrote this story for the Starcraft community that I love, doesn't mean I can't do it on a larger scale elsewhere... ;-)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #234 Lady Paladin[59487] |
| 1Cust157.tnt14.tco2.da.uu.net |
SlayAngel,
Please... lets not turn this into an argument, or flame game. You don't know what I do, much less what I do around my community, so don't begin making assumptions, or comments that your proverbial ass can't cash. Humans, yes.. those beings that live on the third rock from the sun are inspired, or moved into action by just about anything. In this case, it was a story that could very possibly happen in this day and age. If you can't make that connection, then it is you who should truly get out more. If you tell me that you've never been inspired in some way by a novel you've read, or a discovery that you've made... then I truly suggest that you go out and seek self-realization. Based on your bold statements, I can't help but wonder what you belie, and what really lies underneath. |
| #235 Slayangel[59501] |
| pool0130.cvx24-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net |
Dref - You may have missed my first comment. (It took me a while to find it again.) Its number 193 but to repeat, your story was good stuff, I did like it. Now, you say you can write on a larger scale? You do that and when you collect your first paycheck for what you've written then you come back and talk to me. I first published when I was 19 for the comic book series "Tales of the Kung-Fu Warriors". However, I don't pursue writing as a career so I publish infrequently now, just poetry which doesn't pay, but then I don't pay to have it published either. You've got writing talent and again I encourage you to pursue it. All talent means is that its realistic for you to have a crack at professional writing. To be succesful you'll have to work as hard as anyone. If anything, talent means you'll have to work harder.
Lady Paladin - I issued you a challenge, i.e. that you raise your awareness of the real crime in your community. Any challenge is naturally provacative so in a certain sense I understand your response. However, I don't believe you addressed my challenge. You're right, I don't know what you do so tell me, what do you do? Based on your reaction I assume it isn't much but I sincerely hope I'm wrong. I also take some comfort in the fact that soon you'll be in the service where your community awareness and involvement will be your duty as it was mine during my five years in the Navy.
This brings me to my next point and this is what "lies underneath." Why don't people on the internet treat each other the same as if they were meeting together face to face? I don't see any meaningful difference between the internet and "real life". If I was at your school among a bunch of SC fans who were all chatting together and you came out with your comment about how this story affected you I would be just as indignant and I would get on your case just as much. If you were to reply as you did above then I would say, "a story that could very possibly happen? Its a story that has happened in Colorado, in Arkansas, and in Californian just to name a few. If you want a good fictional story that illustrates this point and makes Dref's story look like the callow, derivitive attempt it is then go and rent the film, 'The River's Edge', and pay close attention to the school teacher's comments. When the real thing happens you should be up in arms and out in the streets."
I will cash in on any and all comments I make because I take ownership for the things I say and the things I do. Ms. Paladin, everything I've seen of you on-line leaves me with nothing but respect for you, including you standing up for yourself. However, I will not blow smoke up your or anyone elses' ass. When the grandstanding around here gets to be too much then I will call people on it. If you feel my assumptions were inappropriate then please, don't respond with equally inappropriate assumptions of your own. I'm 30 years old and I'm married to a lovely and brilliant woman. This sort of discourse brings me more self-realization than any fiction alone could. If the fictions and fanatasies we create to entertain ourselves bring this out of us then they are good fictions indeed.
~Slay |
| #236 [59536] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
SlayAngel,
I'm interested in why you keep comparing this story to "School Shootings" (which I assume you are referring to) and a movie like "The River's Edge". I'm failing to make the connection here. I especially wonder how they make my story look "callow" and "derivative". Why do you think it shows a lack of maturity? Why would you say that my idea is adapted from other people's works? You've never explained your reasons, you've just made general statements.
Your attacks on Paladin ("<i>so tell me, what do you do? Based on your reaction I assume it isn't much</i>"), your need to make yourself look good by broadcasting all your accomplishments, and the fact that you feel the need to tell people how a story <b>should</b> affect them makes me wonder about you. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt since you seem to be attempting to wear the cloak of encouragement.
Cheers,
Dref |
| #237 [59568] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
One more thing, this comment kind of pissed me off...
"<i>Now, you say you can write on a larger scale? You do that and when you collect your first paycheck for what you've written then you come back and talk to me.</i>"
You talk as if I need to prove something to you. Writing is fun for me, and I'm no expert. I definitely haven't made the ultimate accomplishment of getting my work published in a comic book. However, I do plan to continue writing and when I do come up with a mainstream idea I <b>will</b> get it published. However, chances are very unlikely that I will "<i>come back and talk to you</i>" when I reach that point. I have nothing to prove to you.
Dref |
| #238 Slayangel[59672] |
| pool0682.cvx29-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net |
Dref - The only person you have to prove something to is yourself, Dref. I was comparing your story to a finished film script to make a point to Lady Paladin. Please take that comparison in its context. Based on its own merits I liked it a lot. Your writing will mature over time. I believe Ketchup had some good things to say on this score. Many of your readers pointed out its similarity to American Beauty and at least subconsciously elements of that story were probably influencing your story. So, that's where my comments came from. I never would have mentioned them except that my angst over Lady's comments spilled over onto you. I apologize for that.
You know, I've accomplished enough in my life to have a good perspective on just how little I've accomplished and how far I have yet to go. Pick a role model, Dref, Lady, everyone. Pick a role model and compare yourselves and your accomplishments to them. Now, what have you accomplished? That's all I'm asking here. Is for everyone to stop patting themselves on their respective backs for a moment, take a big bite of humble pie, and take a long, good look at the bigger picture in their lives. What's the bigger picture in your life, Dref? Don't come back to me on that Dref, I don't want to know. I just want to know that you're thinking about it.
Whoa... way to serious now... must play SC!
Best wishes,
Slay |
| #239 Wisest~Yoda[59767] |
| pm3-1-167.boscobel.mwt.net |
u people are WAY too mature
geez lighten up
=D
|
| #240 LadyPaladin[59799] |
| 1Cust134.tnt28.tco2.da.uu.net |
This will be my final comment on this thread.
Being inspired by an idea, whether its a story, real life or even just a personal thought... we can't, and shouldn't knock one another for what moves us. We may not know each other, or know of each other's experiences, but we must respect each other if we are to continue being involved within the same online forum. Age, Marriage, College... all the way on down the road we used to get home last night are experiences that help shape, and mold who we are. Keyword is HELP.
Our backgrounds have some say in who we are, but we ourselves are ultimately responsible for what we become.
In closing, Respect me for my ideals, and what moves me and you (as it should be) will be respected for who, and what you are. Both word and deed. Thanks for the thought provoking conversation --Dref and Slay. See you guys oline! :)
Ton' Che'rie'
LadyPaladin |
| #241 LadyPaladin[59800] |
| 1Cust134.tnt28.tco2.da.uu.net |
This will be my final comment on this thread.
Being inspired by an idea, whether its a story, real life or even just a personal thought... we can't, and shouldn't knock one another for what moves us. We may not know each other, or know of each other's experiences, but we must respect each other if we are to continue being involved within the same online forum. Age, Marriage, College... all the way on down the road we used to get home last night are experiences that help shape, and mold who we are. Keyword is HELP.
Our backgrounds have some say in who we are, but we ourselves are ultimately responsible for what we become.
In closing, Respect me for my ideals, and what moves me and you (as it should be) will be respected for who, and what you are. Both word and deed. Thanks for the thought provoking conversation --Dref and Slay. See you guys oline! :)
Ton' Che'rie'
LadyPaladin |
| #242 Zumbooruk[60982] |
| IPNAK1-C6.xtra.co.nz |
I've been thinking very hard about this story and following this comment section ever since it came out because, SlayAngel, it affected and inspired me as it has hundreds of others. Writing and rewriting the story in my mind I am now certain, Drefsab, that your writer's instinct made the best decision - to make Justin the pure villain, at least until the shooting.
Slayangel, you've been in the Navy and seen the hard, gritty world and you know what it's like and you sound like the evil 'Nam veteran from <i>The Last Supper</i> (very good movie). The people of Drefsab's audience aren't evil 'Nam veterans; they're the people of battlereports.com - <i>and they loved it.</i> All else is irrelevant. You are only one, but the masses exalted this for what it is, not because Drefsab is who he is. |
| #243 [61047] |
| as530005.infocom.com |
How could I not comment on such an eloquent post... Thanks Zum :-)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #244 Slayangel[61079] |
| 1Cust130.tnt6.oxnard.ca.da.uu.net |
Excellent reply, Lady, thankyou. I know I came charging out like a bear but I meant this in the best way.
Yours,
Slay |
| #245 Starookie[61257] |
| 203.184.144.250 |
Hurray. Last comment. (looks around and sees that no one gives a shit.)
gj dref. This owned. |
| #246 Zumbooruk[61721] |
| IPNAK1-C7.xtra.co.nz |
| <font color = "black">Last comment's mine.</font> |
| #247 Agent BoB[61739] |
| ryd-pr1.tpgi.com.au |
I think it was probably a good thing I'm used to sort of dealing with myself and how I think about myself and other people and the way I look at things, becuase otherwise this thing would have hit me like a huge 7-tonne-brick (7 ton brick?) between the eyes...
This really touched me inside but I'm lucky it didn't spark off another set of philosophical and personal reflections... because usually they put me in a big depression for days on end...
I regularly read BR's here and I'm even posted on myself (got a massive 6... I suck) but I've never been in nohunters... I more or less know all the personalities here though...
I personally think this story COULD make it big... even without having to change the circumstances it would probably be able to make a movie...
YOU ROCK DRESFAB!
THIS STORY KICKS ASS!
This really sort of got me thinking about myself too... I personally am like Brandon in being a personallity around a gaming group on the net (although not starcraft) I don't think there are all that many differences between me... or indeed anyone who's read this and Brandon... heck Dresfab... you could have based brandon on yourself for all I know or something...
But you think about things and I think the internet is just like real life... but probably better... on the net you can be seen for who you really are and just be yourself, in the real world you are not only judged by how you look but need to hide your true identity... is that fair?
why do some people act differently on the net and in real life?
shouldn't we all behave in real life like we do on the internet?
But really Brandon died in real life but lives on in the net and I think his spirit (sorry, I'm fogging out here) is probably happy there... Justin died on the internet and his real life sucks... kinda weird but in the end both guys sorta went to the place where they seemed to be most suited for...
Also the thing about Homosexual people, whilst I'm against the concept, I don't think that homosexual people are any different from anyone else... I mean had Justin died instead of Brandon no-one apart from his mother would have cared... but look how the people on Nohackers felt about losing Brandon...
I personally think this story is as real as anything we see on the news or whatever... not in a literal way but no-one can really say this isn't a 'real' story...
I can only say one thing DRESFAB
never was a story wrought
of a fiery life dearly brought
all great aspirations end in naught
as the tale of two worlds taught
THANK YOU FOR THIS EXCELLENT PIECE OF LITRATURE!
~Bob Hu/Agent BoB |
| #248 [61804] |
| rliv235.infocom.com |
Bob, That's great, I'm glad you enjoyed this. I honestly believe that people should be themselves on the Internet <b>and</b> in real life. That's one point I was trying to get across to everyone. Just be yourself, don't try to pretend as if you're something that you're not whether its real life or an online personna.
Cheers,
Dref |
| #249 Agent BoB[61848] |
| ryd-pr1.tpgi.com.au |
Dresfab:
after just flaming another 'big macho man' in a public forum for calling another guy a sissy because he thought that Love was a sweet concept, I think your completely right... the worst thing that could happen is that if people on the internet start lying about themselves and showing a different face on the net like they do in real life...
If that was one of the points you wanted to get accross, I think you got it accross VERY well
Enjoy your Day!
~BoB |
| #250 Agent BoB[61850] |
| ryd-pr1.tpgi.com.au |
Dresfab:
after just flaming another 'big macho man' in a public forum for calling another guy a sissy because he thought that Love was a sweet concept, I think your completely right... the worst thing that could happen is that if people on the internet start lying about themselves and showing a different face on the net like they do in real life...
If that was one of the points you wanted to get accross, I think you got it accross VERY well
Enjoy your Day!
~BoB |
| #251 ~ZC~K@O$[62141] |
| spider-we011.proxy.aol.com |
Omg, made me laugh, made me cry, amazing story man. Hillarious that justin is about to bash his head with a fryin pan and walks in on brandon beating off, i cracked up. hillarious. but ending, man o man, intense. got to the heart. Never read any of ur shit before, but damn, this was good. better than any br. And everyone can relate to at least one part. everyone has had those assholes that call u a hacker and loser when u don't even know them. and everyone has had someone who pisses em off so much that u wish you could meet them in real life and beat their ass. And omg lol, i think most people have a fear that when they start beatin off in front of their comp someone will walk in on them, hahahaha. God that part made me laugh sooooo hard. Great story, real deep man.
Peace
-KaOs |
| #252 ~ZC~K@O$[62142] |
| spider-we011.proxy.aol.com |
oh yah, the part about him dying and no one ever knowing, and how he had the email to be a rater, that's where it got real deep, and i give u much props for putting that in there.
Peace
-KaOS |
| #253 ~ZC~K@O$[62144] |
| spider-we011.proxy.aol.com |
and one last thing
when you witness something great it has a different lasting effect on you. when you see a good movie, you leave the theatre and it sticks deep in your mind. You go home, you think about it, take a piss, it pops up (ex. american beauty, leaving las vegas). the same for a good book, or a good poem. Things pop in your head about the story and you see it more deeply, or at a different level.
I never thought a story related to starcraft could have that kind of affect on me, but i honestly have to say urs got to me. It hit issues that honestly u don't find in many stories at all. But they were here in a short story related to starcraft. In my mind, good grammer, character development, blah blah blah, doesnt' really matter. a good story is a good story, and as long as the story line is deep, it will be be a winner. you had a deep story line, that touched many things and i have to say great job.
Peace
-KAOs |
| #254 ~ZC~K@O$[62148] |
| spider-we083.proxy.aol.com |
ahhh i readin comments then commenting, then reading more. I just want to say that Lady Paladin nailed exactly what i was trying to say in an earlier post, i know exactly how you feel.
Peace
-kAOS |
| #255 ~ZC~k@o$[62149] |
| spider-we083.proxy.aol.com |
i just have to say that slay is an idiot. i live in colorado and was in the hospital with richard castaldo after he got shot and paralyzed. shut up saying "the real world blah blah" the reason this story affected is the way it was told. it hit many issues and told it well. i bet if someone could go get an intense real story showing the emotions of people in columbine, it would affect me, and lady paladin, and everyone else. but to everyone it's just a media frenzy, and even being in that hospital room was quite moving, but it didn't have the poetic words and well described emotions. so basically, stfu, plz, u make a horrible point.
Peace
-KAoS |
| #256 ~ZC~K@O$[62151] |
| spider-we083.proxy.aol.com |
now i've calmed a bit, and will not post anymore on here, i posted to much already. sorry for blowin up on ya slay, but this story truly impacted me and when u say that it shouldn't, it offends me. sooooooo u made some good pts in posts after that one.
Peace
-kaOS |
| #257 wallabystein[63094] |
| pm162-91.dialup.netidea.com |
Hey man,
Awesome work, definetly worth a ten. It's funny.. you did a good job, but you'd think these people never read a book or something the way they're talking. Maybe your stories will make them realize that reading is fun and that there's tons of shit to read that'll amuse them just as much as this story. g'work |
| #258 Paradigm[63814] |
| 1Cust96.tnt6.det3.da.uu.net |
I didn't like the story Dref, but it was quite good. (i.e. it did not appeal to me but I recognize the good qualities in it). What was Joe thinking? That is something that was on my mind - obviously seemed like the friendship was more important to him than the implications of the picture. Sorry if you've addressed this already...
Paradigm
|
| #259 [63824] |
| as530035.infocom.com |
Paradigm,
I like to think that Joe was a true friend in the sense that he stood up for Brandon even when he found out about his deepest, darkest secret.
Dref |
| #260 (DL)Spam[66016] |
| hst000003162um.kincannon.olemiss.edu |
| Lot of comments, gogogogo comment spam! |
| #261 Snork~Dimmy[66458] |
| async236-per2-isp-4.nas.one.net.au |
| muhahahaha my 4th last now, i own, yay |
| #262 KoolManBloke[67126] |
| webcache-03.p.ps.ifl.net |
Shit man that was good.
267 not too bad
if youl excuse me I have to go away and cry now. |
| #263 KoolManBloke[67127] |
| webcache-03.p.ps.ifl.net |
Shit man that was good.
267 not too bad
if youl excuse me I have to go away and cry now. |
| #264 Magus[74653] |
| host-209-214-118-51.bna.bellsouth.net |
#269
P.S. Good Story, But reall realy sad. |
| #265 someone[75281] |
| proxy3-external.ym1.on.home.com |
drefsab, i'll prolly be the last one to post a comment on your "battle report"
Indeed it was a battle. It was wonderful to read. And I'm glad that at least one person has written someone that is actually mature on br.com ;-). Great story and I hope you write more of these in the future. |
| #266 ~(MaNiAc)~[76375] |
| px1ar.ed.wave.shaw.ca |
wtf did the peaice of paper say??????
Peace Maniac
|
| #267 [79560] |
| 216.166.134.132 |
| u all suck |
| #268 Artemis[79831] |
| 1Cust72.tnt1.memphis3.tn.da.uu.net |
I don't think there will be too many comments after this one -- six months late -- but it was a solid story. It seemed particularly apt in its choice of homosexuality as a subject because of the raging (subconscious?) homophobia present in some Starcraft players and on bnet. I didn't think the writing was of professional quality, but with a bit more practice, the writer could take a far above average writing style to that next level.
|
| #269 234 kOrN FROM DAVID[80019] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
WHAT THE HELL ARE YALL DOING HERE
|
| #270 SMAMIN[80020] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
YALL ARE FAGS AND IM NOT SO WILL YALL DEFINE GAY FOR ME AND ILL BE ITECH WITH YALL
|
| #271 SMAMIN[80021] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
IM
SO
I
CANT
TALK
HELP!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!
I CANT BREATH JFKLD;SAJKLF;DJSA\
HES KILING ME
H E L P ME
SORRY I M BEING STUPID
WILL YALL HELP ME
|
| #272 SMAMIN[80022] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
I I I I I I I I I I I LLLOVE YALL
YALL ARE COOL
WILL SOME ONE GO WITH ME
HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
FUNNY FAGS
BUT YALL DONT SUCK THOE
YALL ALL RULL SO SOME ONE
SAY MY NAME ONCE PLEEZZZ
I KNOW YALL CAN !
I LONE YOU DEFF
LOVE YOU MAN YOU THE MAN
YOU COOL
YOU CAN KILL CANCHYA
YOU CAN ! YOU CAN!
WELL I GOTA GO
CHILL
FROM SABRINA\
YOU MAY THINK IM CRAZY
IIIMMM NOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
| #273 SMAMIN[80023] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
I I I I I I I I I I I LLLOVE YALL
YALL ARE COOL
WILL SOME ONE GO WITH ME
HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
FUNNY FAGS
BUT YALL DONT SUCK THOE
YALL ALL RULL SO SOME ONE
SAY MY NAME ONCE PLEEZZZ
I KNOW YALL CAN !
I LONE YOU DEFF
LOVE YOU MAN YOU THE MAN
YOU COOL
YOU CAN KILL CANCHYA
YOU CAN ! YOU CAN!
WELL I GOTA GO
CHILL
FROM SABRINA\
YOU MAY THINK IM CRAZY
IIIMMM NOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
| #274 I LOVE YOU[80024] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
| I LOVE YOU |
| #275 I LOVE YOU[80025] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
I LOVE YOU
|
| #276 I LOVE YOU[80026] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII L
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
do you love me?
i love you
im all love |
| #277 limp bizkit[80027] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
hey its a ball man
ow have you herd my new record
starfish and the hot dog flavored water
its rino you should here it
im just siting here chiling with my weed
in my hand and ......well just chilin prety much it man
what cho doin you gota say thigs now and thin
have you herd of my new web site its getto its cool its NEW
its been changed alot of times and well im geting sick of
paying for it all it is nekid gals and shit, check it out yor
self its kool, its been boring just siting around smokin
alot and chilin with the band and well...chilin
well i gota go
wite to me on thiw page now ok
chill!!
limp bizkit |
| #278 probe[80028] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
| your are all gay fags |
| #279 probe[80029] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
you all suck
|
| #280 probe[80030] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
| you all are pussys |
| #281 probe[80031] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
and you all know that
right?
|
| #282 probe[80032] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
| right?!!!!!!!! |
| #283 limb bizkit[80033] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
| probe is gay |
| #284 probe[80034] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
| limp bizkit sucks ass |
| #285 probe[80035] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
just kiding ! your not going to kick my ass are ya
|
| #286 probe[80036] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
dreff sucks big dick aint that right dreff
|
| #287 probe[80037] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
| aint that right!!!! |
| #288 probe[80038] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
right niga!!!!
|
| #289 probe[80039] |
| 207.235.147.164 |
some one talk to me now !!!!
|
| #290 archon6[83863] |
| sc-66-27-186-128.socal.rr.com |
| probe is jajajajaded |
| #291 kim[89720] |
| spider-mtc-tg071.proxy.aol.com |
where are the greek pics
|
| #292 im gay[94633] |
| static24-72-29-127.reverse.accesscomm.ca |
| im a lc whore |
| #293 PP~PsychicChimp[95453] |
| spider-wo073.proxy.aol.com |
dude, Dref, no ones gonna read this but... I believe this "novel" is worthy of Stephen King's name. Very good story about what can go on inside the lives of b.netters just as when a Korean kid shot another because he PK'ed his Harcore Char and killed him. Geeze, your too disturbed. I gotta get a life and stop reading these year old BR's Peace out
Chimpy is As Chimpy Does
Skydiving - Good to the last drop |
| #294 KodiaK~D~[97998] |
| h24-68-244-11.cg.shawcable.net |
Ok, this is almost a year old now, but heck! 299!!! go for 300 GOGOGOGOGO!!!
Oh yeah, Drefsab: this story moved me more than anything i've ever read on the internet. Truly a classic. |
| #295 {ST}Sye[99273] |
| 155.58.131.97 |
| Well this musta been "published" a gillion years ago but oh well :P Ugh....this BR was kinda sick but at least i got the big 300! BTW it was good. UGH.... |
| #296 StoneColdNewbie[102234] |
| nic-245-c65-200.mn.mediaone.net |
300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH SHIT NM
|
| #297 Zeratul[102325] |
| dialup-63.210.216.118.Dial1.NewYork1.Level3.net |
Wow, great story! Disturbing, but great. Shows that your worst enemy online can live right next to you :O
302nd! |
| #298 ZerG~LinG[113534] |
| p409-031.ppp.get2net.dk |
Last.
4th april 2002 |
| #299 DarkRider[116496] |
| 198.134.2.2 |
Last.
8th may 2002
Good read-btw |
| #300 Kane[118626] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
May 30
two people died you idiots |
| #301 titans-thesoby[118959] |
| d-207-5-252-62.s-way.com |
last for 2 months or so
june 30 2002 |
| #302 Kane[119410] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
Titans = Owned
=] |
| #303 jimmy[127762] |
| 144.139.223.84 |
zeratul, defintely right ;)
to read tha updated version
u kickASS dref ;)
- jimmy |
| #304 blue_hurricane[137276] |
| ool-182d2da9.dyn.optonline.net |
| Great rep series but... you r a sick man. That report couldn't have been written by anyone that wasn't criminally insane |
| #305 ScotTt[138500] |
| warp142163179128.newtel.com |
Criminally insane? Is insanity a crime?
I read this a while ago and forgot to comment...I enjoyed it at the time, and that's all that matters. It deserves the rating it got, compared to other ratings of writing on the site. Good work.
01/04/03
Bye,
Me |
| #306 EAT-AT-JOES[142636] |
| 12-210-218-18.client.attbi.com |
wow.
this thing could be an english final for high school. very well written.
btw last 6/22/03 |
| #307 livingexception[143591] |
| pcp03797940pcs.wilmsc01.tn.comcast.net |
I haven't look at this in so long...and in retrospect, I feel a lot better knowing that the majority of people here can respect good writing and literature when they find it. To date, this is till perhaps the only serious, important fiction ever to grace this website.
le, July 18th, 2003 |
| #308 Zalbag[143979] |
| chi-tgn-gvq-vty130.as.wcom.net |
totally agree with le.
and in retorspect.... LAST!!! 8/3/03 |
| #309 pedro[146918] |
| webcache-3.netmadeira.net |
please help me i want to know one easy way to enter in a friend pc.
please help me sen to he answer to my email pedro_fabio@hotmail.com.
thanks fr the help |
| #310 [148023] |
| AC85A60D.ipt.aol.com |
hamminah,...
ikigerger...
oijika...
Im buying you... a pizza. |
| #311 {DD}Fatboy[148587] |
| adsl-64-171-191-139.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
3/21/04
Last, as of now, and still a great read |
| #312 wakiki[150152] |
| cable-68-184-58-201.mtv.al.charter.com |
Last.
Sometime in June of 2004. I don't keep track of dates. |
| #313 The-Nut[150744] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
nooo i'm last at 7/18/04
AHAHAHAHAHHA TEH P00N3D |
| #314 LameJoker[152023] |
| pool-141-149-14-76.alb.east.verizon.net |
| Ok I know nobody reads these comments anymore, this being August 2004 (except for you, Nut ;]) I just wanna say that I consider the highest form of literature to be the kind that really touches the soul, and makes you think "wow, that is so true". This did that for me. If I had to change anything, I would have introduced some kind of father OR father-figure he could talk to normally into Justins life to make him just a tad more balanced. If not that, make him feeling some inner turmoil at the fact that he has no friends and no life to speak of. Thats just making him human. |
| #315 Amazed begs for more begins to bow[152581] |
| adsl-63-205-130-25.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net |
speechless... no words can describe... (well atleast non that i
could come up with... again gj and wow... |
| #316 Dibbler[154882] |
| 194.151.4.99 |
| 11-11-2004: Only now read this little masterpiece. Brilliant and seen the comments above I don't feel the need to further elaborate. |
| #317 striz[157787] |
| CPE0007e95ea1fa-CM013050003852.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
<last>
I had to come back for old times sake. great times, who remembers Dref's homepage? this story still rings true, a crafty look at the gaming community, the highschool community and craziness in general. seriously enjoyed it, as I do all of your work Drefsab.
see you in the funny papers all,
28.03.05
</last> |
| #318 TeMpLaR:)[162170] |
| 209-122-217-250.s250.apx1.atn.pa.dialup.rcn.com |
| After watching Requiem for a Dream it kind of reminded me of this story and I had to come back for a re-read. All it takes is one small event ( the cheaper than expected purchase of a digital camera) to completely change the outcome of ones life. Even though this falls on deaf ears (eyes?) it was a pleasure playing with you all and stay safe. |
| #319 DES[166569] |
| cpe-071-065-204-064.nc.res.rr.com |
| LAST |
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