| #1 Dino Din[110323] |
| dynamic-153-141.dorm.natpool.uc.edu |
| first, looks good |
| #2 znzf[110324] |
| CPE00201867e97e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
this wasn't really funny
i can't believe i read the whole thing even tho it took a whole minute
why waste your time man, this sucked
1 |
| #3 triped[110325] |
| 63.85.132.17 |
| Something original, I like ;) |
| #4 DivvyO[110327] |
| adsl-66-123-52-186.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net |
| not bad, but I remember the original SC strategy guide being out before BroodWar, so once you got to Toss I was like "wtf" |
| #5 -the o_0-[110328] |
| SHW58-44.accesscable.net |
whee~
now to read more than a couple lines. |
| #6 katome[110329] |
| px2ar.ed.shawcable.net |
| well it was a semi decent idea, but you wasted a crapload of time and effort on alot of the same thing.. 5, 6 mebbe, not gold. |
| #7 Twip[110330] |
| port-76.gall-ts1.cloh.net |
So you didn't notice the medics? :P
He was drawing his wealth of information from both guides, I believe. |
| #8 Serious[110331] |
| h24-86-132-53.ed.shawcable.net |
| I liked it c.c |
| #9 Twip[110332] |
| port-76.gall-ts1.cloh.net |
| I'd rather make fun of the Bnet compendium, personally. You know, the one that suggests you put a bunker in your peon line so you can cover them all with marine fire. |
| #10 KepowOb[110333] |
| HSE-Montreal-ppp3468932.sympatico.ca |
Interesting idea, I thought it was pretty good :]
|
| #11 Amoeba_Boy[110334] |
| spider-mtc-tk052.proxy.aol.com |
HAHAHA
Funniest thing i've read in awhile
Prolly the funniest thing is "This is all the defense I'll ever need" *shows pic of 3 cannons*
Really funny shiznit |
| #12 Serious[110335] |
| h24-86-132-53.ed.shawcable.net |
Extra Credit 2. How far can a dog run into a forest?
Halfway! |
| #13 AbsoluteGeneus[110337] |
| spider-mtc-tf052.proxy.aol.com |
| LoL I used to go by that guide, till I realized it sucked and did the total opposite of it. Gj. |
| #14 7)Angels.[110338] |
| nh-londonderry1b-85.mrrmnh.adelphia.net |
| 14th, hurrah lazy reading now |
| #15 someone[110339] |
| sc-66-27-186-137.socal.rr.com |
| owned. |
| #16 7)Angels.[110341] |
| nh-londonderry1b-85.mrrmnh.adelphia.net |
Not too bad
3 cannons = gosu
Is there anywhere I can get the answers to those multiple choice questions because if i don't it will haunt me forever.
I'm emailing you the Grand Unified Theory I wrote, hope you enjoy it, it's entirely in Pig Latin.
"Eholdbay ethay owerpay ofay eesechay..." |
| #17 |]agomar[110343] |
| StCatherines-ppp109102.sympatico.ca |
| hey there :). I'll take the test laters! I liked this alot tho, nice originality, funny too . . . 7! |
| #18 KepowOb[110344] |
| HSE-Montreal-ppp3468932.sympatico.ca |
| I liked the 6 (or was it 8) turrets all grouped together because they don't like to be lonely... lol. The cannons was good too. |
| #19 Adhara[110346] |
| AC958827.ipt.aol.com |
hey
My first br. All graphics done with paint. HTML done with wordpad. Internet connection provided by compuserve (time it took me to upload: 5 minutes (about 350k). I'll post the answers to the test up here ('cept the Grand Unified Theory, that's up to 7)Angels. now). I just couldn't help myself from writing about professionals who wrote a book on a game and took pictures of themselves cheating. Hope you all enjoyed it. |
| #20 Dogbert108[110347] |
| slip-32-102-233-37.fl.us.prserv.net |
| I would have laughed at that last comment, til I realised he was talkin about my computer. DAMN YOU! |
| #21 Gryphonb[110349] |
| MTL-HSE-ppp184728.qc.sympatico.ca |
I liked it..
Original and funny
good for a larf |
| #22 Mjotnar[110350] |
| client-151-200-161-80.bellatlantic.net |
Heh, very original. Some funny parts, but it didn't lat long enough IMO. If you had found a long game in which you could have utilized all the units of a single race (according to The Guide, of course) it would have gave the BR more depth.
7 |
| #23 badtz maru[110351] |
| pcp108471pcs.echryh01.nj.comcast.net |
| some one make 1.09 guide gogo |
| #24 stonecoldnewbie[110352] |
| 24.245.64.22 |
i am writing the 1.09 guide now
Tip 1
Be Terran
The End
this was funneh, i laughed out loud a couple times cuz when i was a newb i read the guides and took in good ol barts words of wisdom.. until i found that siege tanks were out of rank of my sunkens and cannons! crap!
gj, 7 |
| #25 star[110353] |
| adsl-65-65-97-194.dsl.austtx.swbell.net |
| good job i like extra credit variety |
| #26 slinger[110354] |
| spider-mtc-td074.proxy.aol.com |
| "Simply marvalous" says Ebbert 8 Green guy up. |
| #27 killawful[110355] |
| MTL-HSE-ppp160487.qc.sympatico.ca |
this report owns. almost as good as the old 'to kill a newbie' strats by drefsab. ill take a shot at the test even tho i never read that guide you talk about:
1. c) protoss tanks
2. true, they think its very weak
3. a) terran
4. b) killer bees
5. true they think templars can attack
6. d) dragoons
7. b) toxic gas
8. a) breathe deep
howd i do?
|
| #28 killawful[110356] |
| MTL-HSE-ppp160487.qc.sympatico.ca |
now im gonna try the extra credit questions:
1. gosu= korean for good. when a lot of korean players where on b.net it became slang for star craft players to call their tactics 'gosu', i still do since im a dinosaur compared to all the new people on the site i suppose even tho i never posted here much, but i will be using the term when i get my report posted
t.t = i honestly have no clue. it looks kinda like maybe you wanted to write 'T.T' which is the korean crying face they use on b.net including such other korean faces such as '^.^' and '-_-'
gl = good luck
hf = have fun
both terms are for people with manners on b.net a opposed to 'no manner' as koreans put it
2. halfway cuz after that he is running out of the woods
3. BGH cuz there is money on it. lt is also overplayed but only by players with skill, and since the players with skill are now outnumbered on b.net by newbies, BGH is more popular
|
| #29 killawful[110357] |
| MTL-HSE-ppp160487.qc.sympatico.ca |
4. "We all know Canadians can carry on entire conversations relating to nuclear non-proliferation and moral relativity theories taking into account existence of alternate planar realites, simply by using various inflections of 'eh?'"
so howd i do?
btw keep up the good reports and dont take the critism too hard, you are easily one of the more entertaining br writers here, and in the end thats what counts right?
BTW if you wanna know why i posted three times in a row its cuz of the gay 1000 character limit on posts on this gosu comment forum
|
| #30 Spuzz[110358] |
| 63.175.166.89 |
hehehe, this was a real fun br! Thanks for writing it! :D
Spuzz |
| #31 Tanks[110360] |
| 144.13.6.10 |
| Good stuff here. Real quality for once, not one error I saw. I feel bad for Prima though. Making fun of The Guide made me sad =[ |
| #32 EMS[110361] |
| nabrown.vassar.edu |
Lol, I think that not only did this show that most strategy guides suck(This one definitly did), but that often when trying to learn even from a good guide, it is hard to understand what the author means. There are so many different situations that in a strategy guide its impossible to impart subtle differences in those situations.
Replays sometimes lack this same quality (but to a much smaller degree) because it is sometimes hard to understand what a player is thinking whenthey make a tech choice.
EMS |
| #33 jj[110362] |
| webcacheB11a.cache.pol.co.uk |
| I laughed - thanks |
| #34 Tavernology[110364] |
| 1Cust188.tnt5.adl1.da.uu.net |
Pretty good, but I reckon U woulda done much better if U hadn't turned the Dark Templar into Dark Archons, or put medics with your rines.
That way, you might've won a game in this BR.
Overall, a nice idea, which proves that the guides aren't always useful. |
| #35 Adrenaling[110365] |
| cr862712-a.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| nice guide. |
| #36 Time[110366] |
| h000a277d260a.ne.mediaone.net |
thx guys ;)
It turns out not ALL of AOL is banned, heh heh heh |
| #37 ZerG~LinG[110368] |
| p402-064.ppp.get2net.dk |
ROFL!
This was damn funneh, original and all that shit :)
I'd give it a 7.
Does anyone know where i might find this Prima guide thing? I bet i'd be a interresting read! |
| #38 Testicular_Pugilist[110370] |
| sttldslgw27poolD133.sttl.uswest.net |
Great report!! Strategy guides only work for 1 player games, and even then they don't usually give you the 'best' strategy. Try a serious game next time, just don't lose the humor part.
I bought the Battlechest, so I have both SC and BW guides. I'd give them to you, Ling, but I think the SC guide is still in FL and the BW guide is a little... messy. Kerrigan, you can infest me anytime :P |
| #39 :+:SlipKnoT:+:[110380] |
| px2so.cg.shawcable.net |
| Very funny i liked this one alot ;) |
| #40 Louder[110402] |
| BU-WCS1-KELLY.NIPR.MIL |
| Hah, that's funny. I just had to buy a new copy of bw cuz my old one is scratched to shit, and i bought the pack with sc/bw and both guides for a wopping $20. I skimmed the guides, and they are seriously funny ;D GJ |
| #41 Playa Hata[110418] |
| 64.26.98.90 |
Haha, this was great. I had the guide once, but I gave it to my newbie friend because he liked looking at all the pictures in it. Yeah, that was the crappiest guide I have ever seen. Know why its an "official" guide? Because they had to suck up to blizzard to get it to be official. And this meant saying that each and every unit was "awesome". They also had to say stuff that appealed to macro only players because that's the reason most people buy an RTS, for massive armies beating at each other and less skills like micro.
Oh yeah, hey killawful, gosu (pronounced ky-oh su) is a korean word that means "masterful" or "agile". It has a weird meaning that can't really be defined. But overall, you were right :P
Liked the report, yah...funny shit. |
| #42 Manius[110428] |
| adsl-20-88-206.asm.bellsouth.net |
| Awesome report. Is it just my CPU...or are the SCV's that slaughtered the zerglings holding lightsabers? That was good stuff if you put it in there. Also, I got strategy guides for SC, BW, AND the N64 game. ^.^ Again, gj man. |
| #43 Patton1944[110430] |
| spider-tq042.proxy.aol.com |
Okay, bonus questions:
Reavers are known as ground carriers.
They describe the corsair as very strong(Since splash)
Scourge are called Carrier Killers
Terrans are mix of zerg numbers and toss power, so that means terrans are middle race.
Dragoons counter marines
They consider Psi Storm to be an attack
Infested Terrans explode into toxic gases
Show me the money. Breathe deep doesn't give you 10,000
Pretty sure I'm right, I have teh guide -.-
|
| #44 shampoo[110448] |
| 12-246-181-177.client.attbi.com |
badass report
7.5 |
| #45 Ramius[110463] |
| charter-DHCP-238.caltech.edu |
| pretty funny concept :) |
| #46 TelferProject[110515] |
| sdn-ar-003kylouiP264.dialsprint.net |
DAMN YOU BART FARKAS FOR TAINTING NEWBS! My friends got into SC at X-mas (since I bought them all the SC Battle Chest each) and they are all fools, for they follow his every word. I'm working on fixing them.
At least Bart's D2 and LoD guide appendixes are a bit useful. |
| #47 Ling-erie[110608] |
| proxy2.leeds.ac.uk |
that was realy well written, looked great and was good fun. Thx.
but, the games were so suckage, even for a piss-take report, that i can see why it was only a 7. |
| #48 Zeratul[110684] |
| user-0ccek68.cable.mindspring.com |
nice report, here are some more interesting quotations of bart farkas' godly guide:
"For example, say ten Battlecruisers (all Yamato-equipped) approach a Zerg base defended by five Spore Colonies. Each of five Battlecruisers uses its Yamato Gun to take out a Spore Colony with one shot while the other five Bcs hit the Hive with their Yamatos simultaneously. Boom. The Hive and the entire air defense network is gone in about 15 seconds."
"Creating a Guardian not only costs 100 gass and 50 minerals, but you must metamorphose it from a Mutalisk, which has a price tag of 100 gas and 150 minerals. This means creating a Guardian costs 200 gas and 150 minerals altogether..." |
| #49 Zeratul[110685] |
| user-0ccek68.cable.mindspring.com |
"When released, the Scarabs zip toward their targets and explode, causin substantial damage to friendly and enemy units alike. Don't send Scarabs into packs of fighting units unless you're prepared to take some friendly fire."
"A fully loaded Carrier is an awesome weapon that can send the enemy into a state of panic." |
| #50 hockey[110695] |
| proxy1.perth.westnet.com.au |
| after reading this i am now a professianal zergling flesh ripper |
| #51 madwanker[110703] |
| 12-246-160-96.client.attbi.com |
| man, this was a funny site. You have a good sense of humor and make fun of the right things in the right manner. Good thing i never went by the guide and opted to learn how to rape by myself. Kudos for making me smile. |
| #52 Adhara[110707] |
| spider-wl063.proxy.aol.com |
For anyone who ever looks at this again, here are the answers to the questions at the end:
1. B
2. True (The Guide feels that Corsairs are useless other than for d-web)
3. A
4. D
5. True
6. C
7. B
8. A
Extra Credit: 1. You should know these without me having to tell you (plus, killawful already put the right answer here)
2. Halfway
3. BGH (newbs)
4. Good luck!! |
| #53 }{omerclese[110910] |
| client-151-198-243-110.qdx-it.com |
OK, would have been a lot funnier if you had tried a little and still proved prima to be shite (which they are).
It was a little too obvious that you were just out to bust on the guide.
Good Idea though |
| #54 squint_75[111026] |
| cthb7tty172j.ab.hsia.telus.net |
| *sigh* the guide is quite right..in some areas.. *ahem ahem* mabbe u just REALLY REALLY REALLY SUCK @ SC... the guide does not account for groups of certain units and certain mixes of units that are quite effective... *cough cough* heh so u can't take the guide @ it's word directly in almost all circumstances....:P |
| #55 squint_75[111027] |
| cthb7tty172j.ab.hsia.telus.net |
| heh a follow up on my last comment.. the start guide isn't all that good...:p and by the way i was joking when i said u might suck.. u probably don't ;) but the best was the 3 cannons... that def grid is probably gonna last SO long... yeesh:P tis sad.. 3 cannons?!?! |
| #56 Crunchymaker[111154] |
| 209.232.145.10 |
| FUCK YOU YOU ARE THE DUMBEST THING ON THIS SITE...YEAH DUMBER THAN ME I HATE YOU FOR MAKING FUN OF TOSS...GO AND DIE NOW I CAN'T EVEN LAUGH BOUT THIS SHIT |
| #57 mtg13[111199] |
| PPP-177-227.bng.vsnl.net.in |
| Yay me 57th comment!! |
| #58 Me[111209] |
| nietzsche.ti.telenor.net |
LOL!!!!
Probarbly the funniest sc article ever!!! |
| #59 [111215] |
| d150-130-18.home.cgocable.net |
| No acually it wasn't the funniest article...I forget who made a good funny one not too long ago...but anyway this was good I liked it:). Shows you that you can never trust The Guide...LOL |
| #60 Bi-Polar_God228[111478] |
| spider-wo083.proxy.aol.com |
| Wow, that was very funny! I really liked all of the sarcasim, and how you showed how wrong that guide is. I used to sleep with that guide, until i found out how useless it is. like, they telly ou to put a barracks behind enemy bases and "crank out units," what a retarded strat, dont u think that by the time u float the thing over there they may have air defense? and like theyre not going to notice a barracks behind their workers! that book is so retarded, thank god some1 finally put it in its place... gj! |
| #61 MoFo`X[111732] |
| rhsyts10c01.nbnet.nb.ca |
| Where Can i get my own OFFICAL PRIMA strategy giude. Maybe then I can start winning some 1v1's.... |
| #62 Deathsythe[111860] |
| psc2512013189.cts.com |
| ya the book does suck. and to think i wasted all that time reading it... |
| #63 george[115159] |
| 12-237-176-40.client.attbi.com |
| YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS!!! THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! |
| #64 Kontra[115965] |
| aulas-i-p3.fe.up.pt |
| I can't believe!! you really suck playing! |
| #65 Storm_Raven[118612] |
| sdn-ap-003neomahP1532.dialsprint.net |
straight up
1. B
2. False
3. A
4. D
5. False
6. C
7. B
8. A, even thought it only gives you 1,000
EX1. Gosu- korean for good, T.T - Truly tough (?) gl-goodluck Hf -have fun
EX2.halfway, there is only one givin point classified as the center move form that and by definition u will be running out, not in
EX3.BGH, more human to comp ration, example: LT-0 1H:3C, 2H:2C, 3H:1C, Bgh- 1:7 2:6 3:5 4:4 5:3 6:2 7:1-thats for all out newbs
Ex4. although i do like killawful's answer "We all know Canadians can carry on entire conversations relating to nuclear non-proliferation and moral relativity theories taking into account existence of alternate planar realites, simply by using various inflections of 'eh?'" - id have to go with 2+2=4
|
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