| #1 CherryBlaster[114652] |
| CPE002078e0f4b2.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| i hope u like the first two chapters. i was going to make them longer but that would make the report too long and boring. and yes the prologue was a real long time before chapters 1 and 2 take place. |
| #2 huker[114656] |
| bgp559251bgs.eatntn01.nj.comcast.net |
| 1st non-author |
| #3 Kane[114661] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
| raar |
| #4 ZerG~LinG[114672] |
| p402-009.ppp.get2net.dk |
Its ok i guess, not mind blowing though.
5-6 |
| #5 ~ViLaToR~[114677] |
| 60.228.27.24.cfl.rr.com |
5th
Its somewhat interesting, i'll probably read the rest of it when it comes out |
| #6 Amoeba_Boy[114681] |
| spider-mtc-tj013.proxy.aol.com |
| Reminds me of Lord of the Rings. Dwarves, elves, old wizards, and a great evil that has returned, all thats missing are the rings. |
| #7 Freque[114690] |
| sdn-ap-007caburbP1924.dialsprint.net |
It was ok.
6 |
| #8 Gimli[114693] |
| 12-221-146-40.client.insightBB.com |
| LOTR ripoff |
| #9 huker[114697] |
| bgp559251bgs.eatntn01.nj.comcast.net |
| not bad...decent story/writing |
| #10 Warcraft[114701] |
| CPE002078e0f4b2.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| does have elves as units for humans |
| #11 CherryBlaster[114702] |
| CPE002078e0f4b2.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| and no, this isnt lotr |
| #12 UltimateFire[114714] |
| spider-ntc-td012.proxy.aol.com |
Hey, nice thing you have going here. Out of curiosity, have you read LotR, any Shannara books by Terry Brooks, or any of the Dragonlance Chronicles? I couldn't decide which I was reminded of most by this, all your names seemed to be in other series I've read.
Other than that I like it ;) |
| #13 Casper...[114754] |
| spc-isp-tor-58-18-616.sprint.ca |
look you fanfic writing clowns.
real writing is more then the 3 paragraphs u scribbled on a notepad.
go read praetors shit. then read drefsab's shit.
then read yours.
see any similarities?
good, that's precisely the answer i was looking for. |
| #14 huker[114756] |
| bgp559251bgs.eatntn01.nj.comcast.net |
| There's no such thing as "real" writing, sorry. People can write whatever they want; whether or not it is "real" to you doesn't and shouldn't matter, as writing is a very subjective thing of which you are not a judge. |
| #15 huker[114757] |
| bgp559251bgs.eatntn01.nj.comcast.net |
| btw my last post = directed at Casper. |
| #16 Casper...[114760] |
| spc-isp-tor-58-19-117.sprint.ca |
| stfu newbie i was a judge at the 2000 writing olympics. |
| #17 huker[114761] |
| bgp559251bgs.eatntn01.nj.comcast.net |
writing olympics?
gg |
| #18 Casper...[114762] |
| spc-isp-tor-58-19-117.sprint.ca |
uh huh.
i contend that this fanfic is garbage.
you state that there are writing judges and that i'm not one of them.
i point out the overwhelming stupidity of your position with a clever put-on.
you fail to see the joke then presume to "gg" me?
YOU FUCKING NEWBIE
THIS IS CASPER TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL
YOU FUCKING NEWBIE
THIS IS CASPER TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL
YOU FUCKING NEWBIE
THIS IS CASPER TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL
YOU FUCKING NEWBIE
THIS IS CASPER TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL
YOU FUCKING NEWBIE
THIS IS CASPER TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL
YOU FUCKING NEWBIE
THIS IS CASPER TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL
YOU FUCKING NEWBIE
THIS IS CASPER TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL
YOU FUCKING NEWBIE
THIS IS CASPER TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL |
| #19 CorpusChrist[114764] |
| ACA193CA.ipt.aol.com |
| Congrats Casper you can copy and paste now shutup. |
| #20 huker[114766] |
| bgp559251bgs.eatntn01.nj.comcast.net |
| kek. |
| #21 Amoeba_Boy[114816] |
| 202-pool9.ras11.vahen.tii-dial.net |
| Casper, with all that crap you seem the newbiest of us all |
| #22 cowboy_bebop[114825] |
| ool-182ea0c4.dyn.optonline.net |
| I agree you are pretty newbie by copying and pasting |
| #23 vincible[114841] |
| roam155-218.student.harvard.edu |
Casper, desperately trying to get the last word, self-owns in the comment section.
I thought the story was a pretty blatant Tolkien ripoff. "Mystic" mountains? The "Departure"? "Mines of Mordulf"? Sheesh. Maybe you didn't intentionally set out to rewrite Tolkien but that's what it ended up being.
And the dialogue really needed work. I think a good way to check dialogue is to read it out loud. If it seems like something that someone would actually say, then it's worth writing. |
| #24 Critique[114844] |
| 170.211.34.51 |
| It reminded me of the Shannara serious most and stfu Casper |
| #25 Crunchymaker[115998] |
| 209.232.145.10 |
left earlier in the morning than they usually would have gotten up.
Example of bad grammar. |
| #26 akbar[133858] |
| 202.179.141.14 |
| ftp |
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