| #1 shampoo[118262] |
| 12-246-186-164.client.attbi.com |
| 1st, good work |
| #2 Dragonsven[118263] |
| cacat0.pennswoods.net |
SWEET JESUS! Awesome, better and better Kaney poo. Nice stuff. 9...not 8...9 you bastards!
-Sven |
| #3 Dragonsven[118264] |
| cacat0.pennswoods.net |
WTF, Kane told me he was posting...how do I not get first? ASDF
-Sven |
| #4 adrenaling[118268] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| hihihi |
| #5 adrenaling[118273] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| dsven, shampoo is just too fast for u. p.p |
| #6 ktimekiller[118276] |
| ip68-96-77-147.oc.oc.cox.net |
| killer, dude. this thing deserves a nice fat 10. |
| #7 SiG.[118279] |
| host-216-77-217-149.fll.bellsouth.net |
Fuck man, you are AWESOME.
Gerard is in some deep shit, yes?
You should do a little research into light explosives and small arms (SMG's usually make for good ones, and hi tech grenades) adding them to the story would be nice.. I was thinking that maybe the magician was so surprised of there being life cuz they didnt use magic, instead they use technology? i duno, but good old bullets and bombs work for me :) |
| #8 Puma5000[118291] |
| 216-55-164-139.dsl.san-diego.abac.net |
| What I'm curious about is why the atmosphere turned up as poisinous. Unless I'm either very slow or missed something (either could be right) you didn't really make that specific (although you don't really have too and especially make sure not to do a "what are midiclorians" speach :) ) Is it because they don't use magic or something else? |
| #9 PooHandler[118294] |
| adsl-63-253-147.mia.bellsouth.net |
O.K. I have never read one of your fanfics before, cuz I, personally, don't like reading; but I just read this because it is 6 in the morning and i was up all night, and I needed to do something. Now, I must say, you have got me fuckin hooked. You have a real talent for writing. Your descriptions are so vivid I could see and hear the things you were descibing. The suspense of some parts, like the "THUD" on the door, kept me on the edge of my seat. And the way you concluded it left me in total anticipation of your next chapter.
I am also gonna go back and read all of the previous ones. Keep up the good work.
-PH |
#10  [118295] |
| StCatherines-ppp109080.sympatico.ca |
| Plz, as SiG suggests, do not research explosives and light arms. A story like this does not need to be sullied by the detailed techincal explanations of weaponry that have been plastered into a million other lesser works. I will read it later, but from the comments it seems great . . . as usual. |
| #11 Dino Din[118298] |
| dynamic-154-227.dorm.natpool.uc.edu |
| well i dunno about yer writing skills but u fucking suck at literati thats for sure |
| #12 Kane[118300] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
#9: ;)
#10: =]
#11: don't worry, I wasn't planning to =P
#12: Yeah, but can you beat me at chess? :o |
| #13 Redemption6[118305] |
| cache-1.sbo.ma.webcache.rcn.net |
| Nice job, a little shorter this time i think. Not as good as the other ones even though the action was okay. I thought the magician Haman was like 'all powerful' but i guess not. Please, no guns, the doublebarreled shotgun is just fine :D. Nice job, 8 at least. |
| #14 PooHandler[118307] |
| adsl-34-80-112.mia.bellsouth.net |
| #12 should shut up because Kane doesn't suck at anything. Wanna know why?! Because he is GOD!!!!!!!! |
| #15 vincible[118315] |
| roam155-218.student.harvard.edu |
gj, I think this was your best, except maybe for your first one.
How good are you at chess? Are you rated? |
| #16 ktimekiller[118317] |
| ip68-96-77-147.oc.oc.cox.net |
| Kane is god. Therefore he should kill my brother with a lightning strike. |
| #17 USer14[118326] |
| spider-ntc-tb082.proxy.aol.com |
| Another whopper of a story, Kane is a machine... just dont run outta fuel ;[ |
| #18 Decay[118327] |
| 206.10.109.49 |
GW
HE SHOULD KILL MY LIL BROTHER TOO!
I'M WAITING FOR THE LIGHTNING NOW!!
YAYAYA DIE LITTLE BITCH! |
| #19 Decay[118328] |
| 206.10.109.49 |
wtf, nothing is happening.
I'll just have to wait i guess..............
|
| #20 Kane[118335] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
Lightning? I'll try...
*farts*
that's the best i can do, sorry |
| #21 adrenaling[118341] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| holy shit kane, ur fart nearly killed me and it still smells here. aww, poor hamster cant even breathe properly even WITHOUT u farting. ;( |
| #22 adrenaling[118342] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| poor modem... ;( |
| #23 SiG.[118344] |
| host-216-77-220-105.fll.bellsouth.net |
meh, tried ta be nice..
what im sayin is that that retarded little "pump action shot gun" is well.. retarded. sure its a tuff weapon but you should be more specific! there are quite a few pump action shotguns..
or rifle.. whatever it was. n e ways, fuck you dag.
i enjoyed this one as ive enjoyed the others. you are indeed a great writer, kane.
|
#24  [118348] |
| user134.net181.fl.sprint-hsd.net |
| Hey Kane, at the start or end of each chapter put a section of links to the other chapters, k? |
| #25 someone[118350] |
| cpe-24-31-43-74.socal.rr.com |
| Puma5000: way back when, the atmosphere was actually CO2 instead and this was what the animals breathed. but plants started taking root, and just like the plants of today, pump out oxygen. oxygen is actually a POISONous gas. eventually there would be more oxygen the carbon dioxide, and thus, oxygen became the stuff that was needed to sustain life, not carbon dioxide. and, if you refer back to the first installment of kane's stories, you will notice that most of the events take place in the far past. so, the magician was referring to how he thought the earth was like several billion years ago. |
| #26 Kane[118352] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
| #26 is in no way correct |
| #27 Dragonsven[118361] |
| 170.158.213.70 |
You play me at chess. Okay? Okay.
-Sven |
| #28 vincible[118362] |
| roam155-218.student.harvard.edu |
| I'd play either of you, I haven't had a good game in many years. None of my friends like chess enough to get good at it. |
| #29 [118366] |
| St-Catherines-ppp112520.sympatico.ca |
| Okay thats it. After much thought and consideration I've decided to give you the coveted highest gold, not only for the quality of this work but for the amazing series you've crafted. Jolly good show. |
| #30 [118367] |
| St-Catherines-ppp112520.sympatico.ca |
| btw, the THUD part SO reminded me of Lord of the Rings and the Balrog. |
| #31 Kane[118374] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
| yay! |
| #32 adrenaling[118378] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| dagomar: yah the THUD part kinda reminded me of the balrog part too. =P |
| #33 Dragonsven[118414] |
| s9.dial1.pro.nac.net |
Way to put 32049348 onamoneipeas in this battle report. And yes, "onamoneipea" is spelled so wrong I should be killed in front of a Russian firing squad who are firing dull bullets. Dull freaking bullets.
-Sven |
| #34 ice-druid[118674] |
| 24.PPP.NBY1.enoreo.on.ca |
k
that was an awsome story, and has so much ( potentiel ) forgot how to spell tha one!
tip:try to make the most of the story in the present tense, it makes it more exiting!
|
| #35 ice-druid[118676] |
| 24.PPP.NBY1.enoreo.on.ca |
btw:Dragonsven
it's Onomatopoeia, almost but not quite. Ready, aime, fire!!! |
| #36 Me[118690] |
| sdcax51-112.dialup.optusnet.com.au |
Wow! It had me on the edge of my seat the whole way! except for the THUD bit where I fell off my seat. =)
And #26, you got hammered =) |
| #37 someone[118954] |
| cpe-24-31-43-74.socal.rr.com |
doh!
|
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