| #1 The-Nut[141878] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
hope u guys liked.. ^_^
nmost people who say rep said i should br this... OK |
| #2 the-nut[141879] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| most* saw* |
| #3 EldritchEvil[141883] |
| nr11-216-196-186-230.fuse.net |
Hey, not bad.
One of the first things is, NO MORE GREEN ON BLACK. PLEASE. It makes my pupils dialate.
Second, instead of making the player names bold, make them color-coded. Thanks.
Other than that, a good, decent quality report. Congrats.
7.0 |
| #4 corpus[141885] |
| 12.214.224.66 |
| Just doesn't flow very well and sounds like i am reading an affidavit at times, the first paragraph exspecially. Spruce up the writing and it would be very good though in my opinion. |
| #5 the-nut[141886] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
ok guys plz listen to this
my screen or sumthin is messed up.
in websites, theres no color.. i cant see the backround or the color of the text... . the backround is always white, the text is always black..
its hard for me to write reports... so dont get so mad at me when u hate the colors.. cause i cant see them
thanks |
| #6 the-nut[141887] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| oh yeah, i proofread this time! i copied it to microsoft word and did the abc check!!!!! (the idea was from a guy in the comments from my last report) |
| #7 Pr0be[141888] |
| dpc6682009029.direcpc.com |
Ok, but it was just a straight report. It needs humor, teh funny, retarded phrases like "faster than a 2 cent whore slipping down a greased highway". Also, ALT text needs to be funny too, not "Hydralisks kill Sabotages Guards."
Overall a 7.4556823.
-Pr0be |
| #8 probe is a retard[141890] |
| ool-44c27c38.dyn.optonline.net |
yo u got no life, stfu nig/ger fuckin cocksucking dick fuck!
idiot bootlegging other ppls quotes and shit
ur a piece of shit go suck a dick niccah |
| #9 LurkerBurger7[141892] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
Much better Nut
it was good, but not 7 material.
5-5.5 |
| #10 the-nut[141893] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| erm... |
| #11 LuckyNewbie:P[141894] |
| user-uinjd6e.dialup.mindspring.com |
The writing was simple sentences. Mostly stuff like this. Some fragments too. There was no humor. Most of the stuff was described like this as well. This writing gets boring. You should see that by now.
Writing big sentences isn't easy for most people, but you can start with a few easy ones. After you got that down, throw in a few similes for good measure -- preferably funny ones. Imitate someone's style of writing, and you will eventually develop your own, unique way of writing reports. By the way, I for one don't care the "minute and second" they expand. If you want to tell when so and so did this, compare it to his opponent. For example: Sabotage_ expanded while The-Nut was still morphing a spawning pool.
(continued) |
| #12 LuckyNewbie:P[141895] |
| user-uinjd6e.dialup.mindspring.com |
(continued)
As for the pictures, they did a good job of capturing the action. I suggest filling the 'black space' in some of these with mini-maps, just to clarify what's happening where.
The pictures couldn't save the writing by a long shot, however, so I'd say agree with Lurker, this is 5-6 material
"You have exceeded the 1,000 character limit, please try again" |
| #13 the-nut[141896] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| feh' |
| #14 LameJoker[141897] |
| pool-141-149-7-75.alb.east.verizon.net |
you did spell check and I still am reading things like "Sabo tried good".....why?
well, you're improving
zerg v zerg mmmmmmm..... blood = love |
| #15 Sabotage[141900] |
| pool-68-161-125-60.ny325.east.verizon.net |
omg why did you br this game? there are much better games.
Well, since its already out, i'll say this was better but short one-sided game=nothx |
| #16 SpeeD.DeMoN[141901] |
| 102.a.002.hob.iprimus.net.au |
ok for 1 ur writing style needs SERIOUS improvement.
and secondly why do you always refer to urself in 3rd person? Big NONO.
-4.0 |
| #17 Newbius_Maximus[141902] |
| wc01.mtnk.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com |
hehe, I see you took my advice, and did the proofread thing. However, your grammar is still quite a ways off...
What kind of word processor do you use? Microsoft word 2000 would help (it checks grammar too). Or let a friend proofread for you...
Your format was alot cleaner this time, and the pictures were neat and ordered. Good job! Your grammar is the only bad thing.
7/10
Damnation to the damned! Better, but lots of room for improvements (ie. GRAMMAR!) |
| #18 the-nut[141904] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
-----------------
#16 SpeeD.DeMoN[141901]
102.a.002.hob.iprimus.net.au
ok for 1 ur writing style needs SERIOUS improvement.
and secondly why do you always refer to urself in 3rd person? Big NONO.
-4.0
a 4.0? r u kidding... at least a 5 |
| #19 the-nut[141905] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
three 7's?
cool |
| #20 JakobderLudner[141906] |
| 24-205-51-132.gln-eres.charterpipeline.net |
Pictures were cool enough, but the writing needs some more spice. Look around other reports, or heck, try reading really good books with GREAT visuals and insert it into your report (I'd hate to say it, but Harry Potter is a great aid in developing visuals in a book). And also add humor. Make the reader practically make the replay in their head, and laugh while imagining it.
Remember, imagination is the reader's strongest tool, and helping to enhance that tool with better language is the ultimate for any writer. A writer's ultimate goal is to place their readers in their mind and for the readers to track every thought you have. Pictures just don't cut it ost of the time (great pictures by the way, which is worth mentioning again ^^) |
| #21 JakobderLudner[141907] |
| 24-205-51-132.gln-eres.charterpipeline.net |
| btw, 5.5 |
| #22 jusdsXh[141909] |
| vnnyca-1-g1-l2-148.vnnyca.adelphia.net |
| all these new br'ers..... maybe one day this one shall grow to skill such as mick =) |
| #23 LurkerBurger7[141910] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| Dont get ur hopes up Nut, if mine got a 7, this deserves a 5 or so |
| #24 SpeeD.DeMoN[141912] |
| 102.a.002.hob.iprimus.net.au |
| be happy with a 4... i was in a generous mood |
| #25 the-nut[141913] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| STFU SPEED DEMON |
| #26 SpeeD.DeMoN[141914] |
| 102.a.002.hob.iprimus.net.au |
| someone hasnt had their diaper changed... |
| #27 striz[141922] |
| CPE00a0cc2d2b10-CM013050003852.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
nut, you just make me angry. report-wise. but word on the street (where us...ghetto thugs chill) is that you got a mean game. so gj. I thought that map was garbage though :(
gg, 7 |
| #28 John Ckawsoki[141923] |
| adsl-67-117-148-194.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| Nice improvement. However, I still find the grammar, well, a little bit sucky. Keep trying though, you're so close to gold. 6.0 |
| #29 Convider[141926] |
| Toronto-HSE-ppp3660362.sympatico.ca |
| personality would be great thx ^^ |
| #30 LurkerBurger7[141929] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
Man, the sentences Nut.
1.Proofread
2.Make better sense-"Sabotage tried good...."
3.Use words the are more associated with war e.g.-'retreat' instead of 'ran back'
4.Pics were ok but could more complex
|
| #31 [141932] |
| ip68-13-24-2.om.om.cox.net |
STOP REFERRING TO URSELF IN 3RD PERSON NUT
you sound like your insane
"the-nut had great defence there, and then the the-nut owned his sunken colonies" |
| #32 Senor Hat[141933] |
| rev-65-114-134-158.i-plus.net |
| meh, it was a decent report, but i gotta agree with the majority. the thing i didn't like most about the entire report was that it completely lacked any sense of style when it came to the storytelling. just do what the people in the posts above me told you to do, and you'll be making gold reports in no time! |
| #33 Slotham[141936] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
| An improvment but my comments from your previous reports still hold. BTW, don't get angry at people who don't think much of your report, it does you no good. |
| #34 the-nut[141938] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| Lurker.. I copied to to microsoft word and used spell check and i read it over..... er |
| #35 LurkerBurger7[141941] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| Its not only the spelling errors, its words used in the wrong place. I noticed 'then' instead of 'the' but thats understandable. So dont only proofread your spelling, proofread your report |
| #36 striz[141945] |
| CPE00a0cc2d2b10-CM013050003852.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
#34 the-nut[141938]
ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net
#35 LurkerBurger7[141941]
ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net
um...
:o |
| #37 celix[141947] |
| px1wh.vc.shawcable.net |
| spelling... |
| #38 Switch)blade[141953] |
| user-2ivec1e.dialup.mindspring.com |
| okay i haven't been on the site in awhile and i come back and see this. Whoever thinks this deserves 7 is wrong, but its still decent. a 5-6 would do it justice. By the way, uh, nut, stop writing all messed up. Put more effort into the reading. Well, besides these errors, the report was great. The pictures were good, but game wasn't fantastic. Uh, "Sabotage was owned". okay, is it just me or is everyone sick of that? this was owned that was owned. That can be stopped. Well thats all i can say. Make more reports! |
| #39 the-nut[141957] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
yo striz how many times to i have to say it......
ME AND LURKERBURGER7 ARE BROTHERS.....
WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE......SAME INTERNET..
|
| #40 Sabotage[141960] |
| user-2ivec1e.dialup.mindspring.com |
"Now you know you are able to BR, take the time needed to make a great BR. Never pick some one-sided game, especially when it's you the winner. Or at least, make it like the game was a close one, even if it's not."
-]Bashar
he said this in one of your earlier br's trevor. Man, we been in nohunters and we had much better games. Don't report a game just because you won! I don't do it, I do it if it was GG.
Like, jeremy's BRing a game because i lost to his carrier massing. Im not gonna br the game i won, because i won by a lot. THE POINT IS TO PICK A GAME NOT BECAUSE YOU WON, BUT BECAUSE IT WAS CLOSE AND GOOD. |
#41  [141970] |
| dialup.dillmodem.251.mei.net |
| About the name bolding thing, I liked that because it was innovating. I disliked it because, like its predecessor (sorry I just saw Matrix:Reloaded) it is distracting. There is another way to differentiate two players in a battle report...THERE NAMES. I'm sorry but I never understood why people did the color thing, its a waste of precious masterbation time if you ask me, so don't worry about it and just write there names plz, that goes for everybody. Green text on Black background is so last Wednesday. Try to be innovative. Another thing, people like it when theres an aesthetic flair to your reports. What I mean is everything is enjoyable to the eye. Check Zerg~Lings numbered reports for what I mean here. |
| #42 the-nUT[141972] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| yay a 6 |
| #43 THE-NUT[141975] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY |
| #44 the-nut[141976] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| what took so long to clean up br.com? eh well, finally! a 6! my second 6!!! yay!!!! |
| #45 SpeeD.DeMoN[141978] |
| 055.a.001.hob.iprimus.net.au |
| holy crap this got a 6!!! omg this report diffinetly does not deserve a that. 4 at max. writing=yukky like some 9 year old did it. |
| #46 LameJoker[141986] |
| pool-129-44-10-116.alb.east.verizon.net |
| a 6 was about right IMO. |
| #47 the-nut[141987] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| .......shut up speed.demon.........again... |
| #48 ZeaL[141998] |
| AC820DA8.ipt.aol.com |
Nah, 5 more than 4, but still, a ZVZ where someone goes hydra vs muta/ling and the hydra win...that says somthing
ZVZ hydra=nothx |
| #49 Sabotage[142000] |
| pool-68-161-125-60.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| well, zeal agrees with me |
| #50 the-nut[142002] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| feH |
| #51 Chris[142005] |
| astound-64-85-237-118.ca.astound.net |
Stop spamming your comments section.
Next up, comments on the report.
1. Again, sentences. While they are good for spellcheck and such, they still are fragmented.
2. More description is needed in sentences. Build orders and such? Minimap shots?
3. Your title isn't too hot either. Its a obvious problem.
Everything else that can be improved has already been stated.
This is an improvenent. 6.0 sounds fair. |
| #52 ZeaL[142011] |
| ACA862D5.ipt.aol.com |
BTW, 5 more than 4 didn't mean a 9, it meant more than a 4, maybe a 5-6
commas own me |
| #53 secretsmurf AKA trint[142014] |
| ip68-105-254-18.nc.hr.cox.net |
| i pwn j00 |
| #54 secretsmurf[142015] |
| ip68-105-254-18.nc.hr.cox.net |
if u think my map is garbage keep your fuggin opinion to yourself
|
| #55 LuckyNewbie:P[142022] |
| user-uinjce8.dialup.mindspring.com |
"if u think my map is garbage keep your fuggin opinion to yourself"
So his opinion isn't valid unless it agrees with your own? |
| #56 [142033] |
| ip68-13-24-2.om.om.cox.net |
| the-nut why do u write in 3rd person? U sound retarded... |
| #57 secretsmurf[142044] |
| ip68-105-254-18.nc.hr.cox.net |
| to #55, YES |
| #58 secretsmurf[142045] |
| ip68-105-254-18.nc.hr.cox.net |
this report deserves an 11 cuz my name was in it
GG |
| #59 Convider[142048] |
| Toronto-HSE-ppp3660362.sympatico.ca |
um
this report deserves a 6 because the raters thought that it was like that and raters are teh godz |
| #60 the-nut[142118] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| secretsmurfs map is cool |
| #61 ZeaL[142170] |
| AC96477B.ipt.aol.com |
it sucks dick
|
| #62 Flonase![142173] |
| dsc04-ati-ga-5-125.rasserver.net |
| Hey nut, good br but needs the extra cajun seasoning, if u know what I mean. |
| #63 the-nut[142248] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
lolllllllllll zeal
ok flo |
| #64 Chris[142299] |
| astound-64-85-237-118.ca.astound.net |
| Yes, map does blow. |
| #65 the-BUTT j/k NUT[142382] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| uh nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo |
| #66 the-BUTT j/k NUT[142707] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| the-BUTT j/k NUT |
| #67 the-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUT[142708] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| vthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUT |
| #68 the-BUTT j/k NUT[142709] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| the-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUTthe-BUTT j/k NUT |
| #69 TEH-NUUT[142710] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
LOL! I SPAMMED!
JEJEHEHEHE |
| #70 a[142711] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
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