| #1 Psyonic_Reaver[146269] |
| 1Cust194.tnt1.bend.or.da.uu.net |
You know..... Oddly.... I really really liked that.
|
| #2 LuckyNewbie:P[146270] |
| 12-253-201-138.client.attbi.com |
oddly i didn't read that
and didn't you say you grew up and left forever a few years ago? |
#3  [146271] |
| wc01.wlfdle.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com |
| oh my dear goodness |
| #4 LosT[146273] |
| PC028714.reshall.uidaho.edu |
| Your characters are pretty robotic, and their diction is very unrealistic for both the situation and their background. Also, the plot seemed to move rather slowly, at least to me. |
| #5 Psyonic_Reaver[146274] |
| 1Cust194.tnt1.bend.or.da.uu.net |
Its A PLAY! Ever seen one of those? High Schools put them on all the time. While the characters seem robotic thats why you need actors to flesh them out.
I'm still serious when I say I liked this. =^)
I dont think he wrote it himself though. Unless he provides proof! |
| #6 TheAngel[146275] |
| theangel.rh.rit.edu |
He steals too much material for me to believe he wrote this. I liked it too =]
-Angel |
| #7 mick[146276] |
| 1Cust164.tnt13.bne1.da.uu.net |
CORONER
I found out the cause of death of the two bodies! Jonas died from a slit throat and Clare died from a shot to the head!
need a coroner to tell you that |
| #8 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[146277] |
| cache-mtc-aa01.proxy.aol.com |
| The coroner was senile! And yes I did write this. If I didn't I dare you to find what site I got it from. Good luck cuz it aint from no website. |
| #9 BlueRibbon[146278] |
| 65.167.44.106 |
| Probably found it in your school library : [ |
| #10 mick[146279] |
| 11Cust139.tnt12.bne1.da.uu.net |
| I don't think it matters anymore Time. |
#11 
[146280] |
| 129.142.195.30.ip.tele2adsl.dk |
Whether or not you actually wrote it, it was okay, but far from good. Some of the situation seemed just a wee bit cliché, especially the two thieves, one smart and cynical, one somewhat stupid and haunted with guilt.
Coroner was a bit overplayed perhaps ;o Subtleness is key.
Oh yeah, who the fuck SLIPS ON A SET OF KEYS? And not only that, kills himself doing so ;o
Oh well, was okay. 6. |
| #12 [146281] |
| wc01.wlfdle.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com |
in a play, characters should NOT sound robotic, psy. Ever read Hamlet?
:[ |
| #13 pansito[146282] |
| gateway.gmcc.ab.ca |
| You're comparing Hamlet, one of the greatest writing achivements of all time, to a report by Time? What's wrong with you? |
| #14 [146283] |
| wc01.wlfdle.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com |
| if you read my post again, you'll see that I'm setting Hamlet as a standard of great play writing. I'm not even comparing it to this work, which Time may or may not have written. How can you misunderstand a single sentence more? |
| #15 Psyonic_Reaver[146285] |
| 0-2pool2-89.nas3.portland1.or.us.da.qwest.net |
| Sadly. I hate Shakespear..... |
| #16 [146286] |
| wc01.wlfdle.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com |
| wtf |
| #17 Sabotage[146287] |
| pool-68-160-235-136.ny325.east.verizon.net |
oooooo
ScAry....
uhm, when is mick doing a report?
I would even accept a CRAPPY Sabotage report by now. |
| #18 livingexception[146288] |
| 129.252.135.109 |
Ahem, please, do spell correctly the name of the greatest English playwright.
le |
| #19 livingexception[146289] |
| 129.252.135.109 |
Read the first three scenes. I agree that the diction at times was unusual, and the third scene ended very abruptly (no stage directions that would indicate a change of scene). I do, however, see someone slipping on a set of keys and landing on their head. They give out Darwin awards for those kinds of things.
le |
| #20 Chris[146290] |
| astound-64-85-237-118.ca.astound.net |
Copied, obviously, because of Time's lack of english skills in his comments sections.
Nobody that says "cuz" and doesn't use commas can't write a decent report, especially one that's so godawful long. |
| #21 tempus007[146291] |
| ip-216-196-216-20.zif.fuse.net |
Could just be internet shorthand. I use all sorts of non-standard english when I IM; you have to to "talk" fast enough. You use shorthand when space and time is limited.
I'm not defending him per se, just asking you to consider every angle. After all, you should have time to properly write and proofread your comments, but on the other hand, editing isn't necessary as it is in a battlereport. |
| #22 IcE-Inforcer[146293] |
| Toronto-HSE-ppp3906678.sympatico.ca |
| He didn't write it. It's obvious since he's jipped other people before. |
| #23 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[146294] |
| cache-mtc-aa01.proxy.aol.com |
| heh, I love it when people say I plagarize with no proof at all. It's a complement really. Anyway, I thank you for the 6. |
| #24 [146295] |
| wc01.wlfdle.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com |
| it's not a compliment - the reason they think that is because you're done it before. |
| #25 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[146296] |
| cache-ra01.proxy.aol.com |
| Theres the occasion where the great TIME does his own work. And this is one of them. If you are so certain that I still plagarize then please, by all means, post the proof. |
| #26 Chris[146297] |
| astound-64-85-237-118.ca.astound.net |
| All of the reports you have posted previously. |
| #27 a 6? are you fucking kidding?[146299] |
| c68.190.163.141.eau.wi.charter.com |
| CLUES, I'M LOOKING FOR CLUES ASDGFSNDKS NGNK SDKNSKASNF KALFAFN GKSDG. |
| #28 Timid[146300] |
| adsl-66-126-3-26.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net |
Robotic? One smart and one stupid?
This is so unrealistic it wasn't even funny.
The level of stupidity protrayed from every individual was appalling.
|
| #29 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[146301] |
| cache-da01.proxy.aol.com |
| Just because some of my previous reports (not all, mind you) were plagarized is no proof that this one is. Either put up or shut up. Post the URL of the site I got this from. |
| #30 Mr.Puddles[146302] |
| 216.49.243-DSL-187.ckt.net |
| DAG! Lets SC! |
| #31 The Wise One[146326] |
| 105-92.sulross.edu |
| For once Time is right. I can't bear to say it, but there's a first time for everything. We'll just have to find something more valid to flame his ass for like how bad the play sucked, which it did very much so. We can't make accusations that he plagerized without documented proof. But, I will point out his multiple mistakes. |
| #32 [146327] |
| 105-92.sulross.edu |
"(The outside of a house at night time, with a metal gate at the right leading to the backyard." SENTENCE FRAGMENT
This is merely a over extended subject with no predicate and could the corrected with a simple They were outside... or the The setting is the outside... or etc.
Perfect, just perfect. What is perfect just perfect just perfect? Your excessive use of fragments, time? I would go on but character limit, u know how that is. |
| #33 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[146345] |
| cache-mtc-aa01.proxy.aol.com |
That's it? A sentence fragment when I described the scene? That's the best you got?? Hahahahahahahaha. Hey, buddy, you don't need the setting to be a sentence, just to describe the setting of the play.
"Perfect, just perfect." Is also a sentence fragment. OH HO HO!!!!!!!!!!!!11 YOU GOT BURNED!!!!!!11 |
| #34 Asmodues[146350] |
| roc-24-169-206-215.rochester.rr.com |
| Not a bad play Time. I liked it actually. It's a change of pace from most of the stuff posted on this site. The spelling/grammer is pretty good. The vocabulary is fairly normal for time's professed age, and the writing style, while over-done, isn't very bad for Time's age. All in all, I give it a 6.4. |
| #35 [146370] |
| 104-175.sulross.edu |
| #33 you foolish time, a play is a literary work, which means complete sentences are required in all instances regardless of whether it's a setting or not, my dad is an english instructor and i'm a junior in college, english major, so don't even attempt to argue with me. who got burned? |
| #36 The Wise One[146371] |
| 104-175.sulross.edu |
| That is if its intended to be formal which it should be for the most part considering its a submission at battlereports.com. |
| #37 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[146384] |
| spider-ta043.proxy.aol.com |
| So I guess all the characters of the play need to talk in complete sentences all the damn time right? Despite the fact no one ever talks in complete sentences all the time? Foolish mortal. TIME the great PlayWright shall rule the theatre drama world soon enough, despite a fragment here and there. |
| #38 The Wise One[146390] |
| 104-254.sulross.edu |
dialogue should be in complete sentences in all cases except: greetings such as hello, hi, sup, sup bitch,etc or when saying bye, chow, adios, later fool, latez bitch, etc. People do naturally talk in complete sentences after they reach a certain age, incase your immature mind didn't notice.
But, your fragment was the setting which is never exceptable, so stfu time. |
| #39 TIME is not on your side.[146393] |
| cache-ra01.proxy.aol.com |
If you honestly think people always talk in complete sentences you are a fucking moron. Honestly. How would you respond to these questions?
"Did you go to the party?"
A) "Yes." (OMGZ A FRAGMENT!)
B) "Yes, I did go to the party."
"Where are you going today?"
A) "To the store" (OMGZ A FRAGMENT)
B) "I will go to the store today."
People will always say A, now go away you playwright noob.
By the way, you said "exceptable" when on the 2nd to last line on your post. It should be "acceptable" you dumbass. Seems to me a person majoring in English would know that.
|
| #40 Some_God[146394] |
| ool-18b8c53e.dyn.optonline.net |
| Probably copied the thing... then changed the title. |
| #41 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[146396] |
| cache-mtc-aa01.proxy.aol.com |
| Put a sock in it Some_God, once again, put up or shut up. Where's the proof? You can't accuse someone of something JUST because they did it in the past. It can reinforce your evidence, but without evidence, it means nothing. |
| #42 TimeIFlamethThou,Bitch[146425] |
| 104-232.sulross.edu |
Yo, Yo, lets hit this shit.
*Raps* Yo, Time is no longer on your side Time you fuckin pig.
The fuckin Time has come for you to lose that gay ass wig.
Cause battlereports.com wants you to go to hell.
Wearing a fuckin cow bell.
Can you just not see.
Are do I have to put it in writing for thee.
No one likes you time.
So listen to this fuckin ryhme.
And take the next web bus to www.losers.com
Before I shove this broom up your ass so hard, that you relive last years prom
Where you got it up the ass 16 different times
While playing with your boy friends deformed little chimes
Now ram your worthless spammin ass
In my real man,s Brass
And I’ll ejaculate your ass straight down to HELL.
While you play with your daddy's cow bell...
|
| #43 The Wise One[146426] |
| 104-232.sulross.edu |
| Woooooooh!!!!!!!!! am I good or what TIME? |
| #44 mick[146433] |
| 1Cust199.tnt13.bne1.da.uu.net |
| you fucking suck |
| #45 The Wise One[146445] |
| 104-162.sulross.edu |
| What was wrong with it mick. Give me some rappin pointers bro. |
| #46 The Wise One[146466] |
| 105-158.sulross.edu |
| Time is speechless, i guess my rap must be pretty good after all. |
| #47 stfu time[146467] |
| adsl-67-125-40-136.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net |
| stfu you fucking dumbass, you suck at this |
| #48 The Wise One[146468] |
| 105-158.sulross.edu |
stfu time=time so obvious its not even funny
so STFU time you dumbass breports.com newb
|
| #49 trint[146470] |
| ip68-107-203-17.nc.hr.cox.net |
| leave time alone :( |
| #50 trint[146471] |
| ip68-107-203-17.nc.hr.cox.net |
| oh yea "Wise one" how is it him, when the IPs dont show the slightest match? |
| #51 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[146474] |
| cache-da01.proxy.aol.com |
| The Wise One that was awful. Did you really expect people to go "ROFLROFLROFLL LZOZLZOL OMGZ WISE ONE SO FUNNY ROFLROFL QUOTE THAT RAP!!!!!!111"?? Idiot. |
| #52 sysvirii[146669] |
| 12.110.65.185 |
I shudder to think of the day when high schoolers are performing in a play as a transvestite robber who feels guilty about dropping keys on the ground that his best friend later slips on and dies.
I shudder to think of the day AFTER when high schoolers are performing in a play as a transvestite robber who feels guilty about dropping keys on the ground that his best friend later slips on and dies, because the person that gets stuck with the role of Josh is going to need massive therapy to recover.
Too long, too shitty, and I don't give a damn about proper English as long as it isn't entirely in l33tsp34k. gg no re now stfu and go away, TIME. |
| #53 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[146874] |
| cache-mtc-aa01.proxy.aol.com |
| TRANSVESTITE ROBBERS!!!!!!11 |
#54  [147022] |
| 168.53.109.12 |
| ROFLROFLROFLL LZOZLZOL OMGZ WISE ONE SO FUNNY ROFLROFL QUOTE THAT RAP!!!!!!111 |
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