"If your up for another helping of ass-kicking at the hands of my terran, then I am more than happy to oblige!"
-Johhny_Vegas
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#1  [164792] | | dblt-216-227-24-248.gtcom.net | | Approved. | | #2 Timid[164795] | | cpe-67-49-126-86.socal.res.rr.com | | Why did you post 2 of these on the same day, when they are short? | | #3 Hive Fleet Behemoth/Kraken[164799] | | cpe-68-206-48-169.houston.res.rr.com | I had written these separately. One day after I had gotten ratings for the blood in sylvania battle, I started writing the larger one. The next day, I wrote another third. Then I stopped. About one week later, I wrote most of the second one. The second one is just a taste of fighting in the Elder Scrolls world, not part of the journals series for Oblivion. You may see add ons like this, maybe a explanation for more things, or a particular quest. I will usually start the journals later on, not exactly where I left off. In fact, I think it's time to write about the level fifteen breakthroughs. Another Oblivion, coming right up on a silver plate! Don't think I've forgotten you either, warhammer fans. My main writings will be about Warhammer, I just think I need a little more experience in writing battle reports, and, I'm very interested in Oblivion right now.
"Death is my meat, terror my wine." (Codex, Dark Eldar) | | #4 Psyonic_Reaver[164803] | | mail.seventhmountain.com | | Keep it going Hive. Just keep writing and it will improve. Like I say, look at just about every reporter that writes golds now. Most of them didn't get good rating starting out. Keep it up! | | #5 Hive Fleet BEHEMOTH/kraken[164808] | | cpe-68-206-48-169.houston.res.rr.com | Whoa, I think hive fleet Behemoth is turning into hive fleet kraken. (For all you 40kers, I'm changing my name based on the evolution of the hive fleets. And yes, after the battle for macragge, hive fleet behemoth did become part of Hive Fleet Kraken) Thanks, Psy. I am hoping to build a series, kind of like the Phoenix Chronicles series. Maybe not as good, as I'm not very experienced, but maybe ok.
P.S. Will someone; Mareek? rate my battle report sometime. Not trying to rush, but wouldn't mind getting at least one rate. The suspense is killing me. | | #6 NewbEye[164811] | | dp-216-106-106-173.storm.ca | Hmmm, Morrowind, interesting. Yet another of those games I'd always meant to get into, but didn't.
I must confess I had problems following the reports, partially due to inexperience with the game.
However, the reports seem one part fanfic, one part strategy guide, and one part walkthrough. The lack of a unified style made for a disjointed read.
On the writing... The minor typoes and tense shifts didn't bother me. What did was how some parts were written like you just didn't care ("... lamely tasked ... (lame) ... (not so lame) ...", "... some guy I can’t remember"). And, though it's a first-person report, the constant "I-I-I" was really repetitive. Maybe combine or cut some of the less important sentences?
Pictures from the actual game would really help. The ASCII art depicting the fight on the ship didn't work on so many levels. (Seriously, preview/guides/forum exist for a reason.) I think you used the site's report editor -- doesn't it have a button you can press to insert images? Alternatively, if you want to create your own HTML, the site's got guides in the menu, or you can google HTML/download a web page editor. | | #7 [164813] | | 216.227.24.55 | | I don't have time to comment but I did read it and gave it a rating. I'll take the time to write a real comment on the work when I get back from class, but you have comments from two good writers in this report, and I'm sure they're advice is very good. Take it to heart. | | #8 Hive Fleet BEHEMOTH/kraken[164814] | | cpe-68-206-48-169.houston.res.rr.com | | For some reason my print screen button has not been working lately. | | #9 NewbEye[164816] | | dp-216-106-106-160.storm.ca | Hm, does your "print screen" work with other games/just on your desktop? If so, Morrowind might be one of those games that has its own print screen key. Alternatively, you can download software that has a screen capture function, like this one:
http://irfanview.com/
Fire it up, hit "C", then define a hot key. Voila! |
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