| #1 -=DarkHawke=- (stj810.nf.sympatico.ca)[9365] |
|
| Hey. Nice report, but a bit short =] |
| #2 JSH (martinsix.ne.mediaone.net)[9367] |
|
I don't want to sound like an English teacher, but could you not use the passive voice so much in your reports? Like don't say this was researched, this was made, etc. The most awkward sentence was 'The tank push was followed.' It makes it sound like something's following your tank push. :P
Say things like 'I researched this, made this, and pushed with tanks and m&m' etc.
Oh forget it I sound like an english teacher now. :( |
| #3 BJack (207-172-104-3.s257.tnt1.man.va.dialup.rcn.com)[9369] |
|
| I know what you mean JSH. That got on my nerves too, but hey...who am I to say anything? Other than the english being a little tedious, it was a good report. Keep it up. |
| #4 MikeyMonty (spider-ta041.proxy.aol.com)[9373] |
|
| What cliff drops? You could have given those a little more attention. |
| #5 Ana (s15.pm5.ovis.net)[9374] |
|
| red...hurts....eyes |
| #6 Dev (209-142-48-50.stk.jps.net)[9388] |
|
| Sadly, this diary falls short of Smoked Pork's immortal Terran marine diary, posted on the battle.net forum. |
| #7 JSH (martinsix.ne.mediaone.net)[9413] |
|
| Oh yeah Dev, I was thinking about that the other day!! God I wish I'd saved that post. You (or anyone) don't happen to have it, do you? |
| #8 -=DarkHawke=- (stj836.nf.sympatico.ca)[9417] |
|
Who made the br?
not me =[ |
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