"Siege. Unsiege. Move. Siege. Fighting that waskly D-Web."
-Heartcutter
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| The Replacement | | | Author: | | | IP: | tsmia2-5XXXX | | Date: | 07/29/00 07:07 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 8, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for Undead{HeRo}: 7.5714 |  |
Nogood{HeRo} vs. Wisecrack
The Replacement
Introduction:
*Hero headquarters 0600 hours battle briefing:
Immortal: Everyone take your seats. At 0500 hours, we have been informed that one of our old
generals, Sublime{HeRo} (Wisecrack) has betrayed the hero cause and joined clan [wit]. He has
lead his troops to the war-torn Lost Temple to retrieve minerals to add to his stockpile,
probably as a plan to war. As you all know, Sublime is an extremely good general and only a few
can match to his caliber. However, those that are known to have defeated him in combat
simulations have other assignments more significant than this one. I need a volunteer to combat
Sublime. If you succeed, I will decorate you with the greatest medals of honor. If you fail to
stop him from hogging the minerals, never return ...alive.
Nogood (rising slowly): Sir, I believe my forces are capable of attacking and destroying Sublime's
forces in the temple.
Immortal (considering): Very well. Nogood, mobilize your forces immediately and set out to the
Lost Temple. Dismissed.
Map and Starting Locations:
Both players opted for random...wait a
minute, was that one of the options?...maybe they hack...Anyways...Nogood
ended up drawing a terran card in his hand and spanked his terran commander right out of bed
at 0400 hours and told him to land 4 SCV's, and 1 Command center at the 3 o'clock spot from
the temple. Wisecrack went to his lucky 8-ball and it told him that
his first child would be a boy (EEK! oops wrong subject! You did NOT see that!) It told him to
choose zerg, so he sent a powerful psychic message to tell his cerebrate to get up of its lazy
ass and warp into the lost temple at 6 o'clock.
The Build-Up:
***Note: Wisecrack did not have all those buildings listed by the time
Nogood had the buildings listed under his name. I just didn't catch
everything Nogood was doing because all the action took place at
Wisecrack's base.
The Battle:
Shortly after Wisecrack's hatchery at his expansion finished, he put
down one sunken colony for preliminary defenses. As soon as the sunken finished its metamorphasis
and mutated its notorious tentacle into shape, 2 marines came trotting along to see if they could
provide any harassment to the new expansion (both players found each other with a peon). But then,
after seeing little Johnny get a big sharp thing get stuck up his ass and a few zerglings chasing
after the 2 marine brigade, both of the extremely valiant (cough) officers high-tailed their
asses out of the zerg hive and back to the base. Over on Nogood's side,
medarines are busy training at the 2 barracks at 3 o'clock while Wisecrack
was busy morphing 2 more sunkens at his expansion, some zerglings, and getting his
expansion operational. Then Nogood comes up with this cheap shot.
Oh man, a few more of those by Nogood would surely win him the game. Of
course Nogood was looking for bigger things to kill without getting his
ass raped, but I think those sunkens discouraged him. Nogood decided to
switch to containment instead of all-out attacking. He built an E-bay at
Wisecrack's 2nd natural, Nogood built a bunker and sent about 12
more marines to support the containment. Nogood has finally busted out
a few tanks and is in the process of defending his own main base (you're supposed to do that? hehe).
After a few long minutes of boringness, something catches my eye. Let's see if you see it too.
Wow, that was so hard to distinguish. Yes, Wisecrack has lurkers now.
He also has drop capability too. Ok Wisecrack let's drop and end the
game. Come on boy...Drop now! Grrrr what r u doing?! Don't turtle so hard DROP!
Suspecting that he was falling behind Wisecrack, Nogood
decides to pull this little stunt that ...well ...isn't very successful.
Nogood has taken the opportunity to expand now 12 o'clock, since he thinks
that he has Wisecrack contained. He also reinforces his containment with
a newly made science vessel as well as a few more marines. And it's a good thing that he did,
because Wisecrack decided to launch his lurker offensive...or rather..
a LURKER FIASCO!
The bunker was torn down from its foundation by the spikes from the lurkers.
Nogood, seeing that his containment force would not be able to withstand another breach
like that one, smacked 3 tank drivers out of bed and chased them with a whip all the way from
the Headquarters to the front. And it's a good thing he did too!
Getting annoyed that his adversary decided to contain him with a stronger force,
Wisecrack decides to expand to both islands. Take a look at the minimap as well as the
object under it...
Oh, yes, Wisecrack has had enough of the nonsense of the
containment and decides that he will try and break out with defilers and cracklings. After all,
what are a few tanks and 30+ M&M?
In fact, while Wisecrack was busy trying to overwhelm the terran
containment forces at his 2nd natural, Nogood had other thoughts about
his opponents infestations on the islands. Things start to look grim for
Wisecrack.
Wisecrack is now getting extremely desperate. He had just lost both
expansions on his islands, his main was now dry, he had at least 15 drones oversaturated on
minerals, and to make matters worse, about 20 of his drones were killed to science vessel
irradiate. Seeing that the end was near, Wisecrack makes one desperate
offensive using debatably his most powerful weapon: the Ultralisk. As soon as this the drone
finished metamorphasis and became the Ultralisk Cavern, it was observed that 3 larvae were
transformed into eggs followed by 9 more larvae (3 ultralisks and 18 zerglings).
It is usually Nogood's style to either drop while attacking from the front
end of a base, or to drop as a pre-emptive strike with a small attack force and hope for an
overreaction by his opponent, and then flood in with a legion of infantry and tanks. This
attack didn't go too well.
Wisecrack knows that his secret for amassing Ultralisks is unveiled now
so he decides to mount his last desperate offensive. The plan was to try and break through the
terran lines and then pour over into Nogood's expansion. This is the outcome
of the battle. And who was the one that said, "Without upgrades, Ultras are a 4-ton sack of shit?"
Well, the lines had held. There were simply too many marines, medics, and firebats. However, over 20
marines had given their lives. But as the great general George Patton once said, "No soldier did
any good by dying for his country. The only way you do any good for your country, is to put a
bullet through the enemy, and make him die for his country." (in this case, its hive cluster).
And that's exactly what the valiant terran infantry were able to do.
End Game:
*Back in Wisecrack's headquarters, Wisecrack
writing in his private journal:
The end is near. My once mighty zerg forces have been crushed by the terran opposition. 300 great
zerglings, hydralisks, and ultralisks have given their lives for my cause, and their spirits will
not rest for I have failed them: To conquer my replacement, to infest their weak bodies,
to devour every single marine and SCV. Therefore, I have no will to go on. Goodbye to the
battlefields that I have yet to fight, and to all the soldiers that have yet to die for my cause.
(Gun cocks and fires).
Ok, of course for the idiots out there, the last part was fictictious. I hope you all enjoyed this
long overdue battlereport.
Undead{HeRo}
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