Welcome back. This is game two of a three-parter. You can read the first game here. You can skip to the beginning of the BattleReport here. Please let the images load. I hope that you realize you are not loading this Report in the hopes of reading it, but in the hopes that your children's children may live to see it finish loading. :P I posted this particular game in two parts, because I got carried away with images again, and feared that one big Report would bring modems to their knees all across the country. :P My choices were to 1), reduce the images and rely on my writing to tell the Report, or 2, post in two different Reports. Well, let’s not pull any punches here. My writing is as weak as my throwing arm. Time to use the old submit-as-two-reports trick again. Allow me to refresh your memory. The point behind this series is for me to watch four guys play three 2vs2 games, each time with a different partner. The previous game resulted in Bane{Hero} and his partner Fox^1 being defeated by Drefsab (E-Minor) and Dr.Zchivago. Time for the teams to rotate! Unfortunately, just as the first game's post game "interview" was wrapping up, Bane{Hero} became another tragic statistic when he was swallowed whole by the beast that is Battle.net. A server split ripped him from my arms and drowned him into emptiness. We will miss you, Bane{Hero}. :( This left us with only three people to play. There was talk of just doing a free-for-all (and therefore scrapping my 2vs2 Report format). Just before we started a new game, with only three participants, I was messaged by none other than...::nobody::! The bastard who was supposed to play in the first game had finally gone out of his way enough to show up. Actually, there was some confusion about time zones, but that’s not important now. The important thing is that ::nobody:: was finally freaking here, and we once again had four players. Not the original four players, but I was happy. Remember the map Rosewood? This game was played on this map, just like the first game, for I wanted consistency. Teams were ::nobody:: (using the name Animated_Vixen) and Dr.Zchivago vs. Fox^1 and Drefsab (using the name E-Minor). The countdown started, the game bagan, and I began happily punching the PrintScrn button while thanking the gods of Battle.net for letting the game begin. Within ten minutes Animated_Vixen disconnected. All players returned to the channel to try again. The reason why I brought up this disconnected, bastardized game was because during the initial building phase, Animated_Vixen made a comment: Hmm...foreshadowing? To say the least, it set a tone for me. Would this game be even more of a beatdown than the first? I hate to say it, but lack of confidence is the deciding factor in over half my losses. I hoped that this wouldn’t happen to Animated_Vixen and Dr.Zchivago. Well, enough with this. Let’s get to the game (finally). Animated_Vixen (Terran) and Dr.Zchivago (Protoss) vs E-Minor (Zerg) and Fox^1 (Terran). Each player picked his race--except for Animated_Vixen, who went Random. Like I said before, the map was once again RoseWood, a five-player map with an elevated natural at each starting point. Check out the starting spots: Okay, there’s something I have to say before this Report really starts. I tried to hide it; I thought I could gloss over it or skip it all together. But no, many of the upcoming screen shots display my sin: I am a shitty observer. That’s all there is to it. As each player picked his race, I sat there with a fist in my ass, and went random. Duuuh. Instead of receiving Terran and being able to float my Command Center, I was cursed with a Nexus and four confused Probes. Crud. After telling the players, I began mining 50 minerals so that I could make a pylon and then destroy my Nexus. Well, that is bad enough, but while my probes were mining, I tried to get some screen shots of the other players’ bases. My lack of intelligence allowed the Probes to gather 72 minerals, for a grand total of 122. Shit! I made a pylon in a secluded area and then destroyed my Nexus, with 22 surplus minerals. There. I said it. That is why, in various screen shots, you will see that I have 22 minerals. Let us never speak of it again. Now then, where were we? Oh yes, the beginning of the game. Thankfully, there are no stupid 4-pool tricks pulled, and each player begins a rational build order. E-Minor, the only Zerg player, immediately sends out his Overlord to the mid-left, conveniently where Animated_Vizen’s base is. Upon finding his nemesis, E_Minor speaks the first words of the game and quickly pulls his lumbering, mammoth pusbag away, lest Marines shoot it down. Despite his grumbling, E-Minor has already given himself and Fox^1 an advantage; they have found an enemy and this time, they know that they actually face a Terran for real this game (refer to the last game ;)). By the way, E-Minor’s build order goes somewhat like this: Spawning Pool, Hatchery at choke while pumping Zerglings, then Hydra Den and Lair at the same time. I don’t know when he got gas and I don’t care. As E_Minor’s Spawning Pool was morphing, Dr.Zchivago spares a single lonely Probe to scout in a clockwise fashion. His building order is something like: Pylon, Gateway, Pylon at choke, Gateway, Pylon, then Assimilator. Once his first Gateway warps in, he begins rallying Zealots to his choke point. Well, hell. Might as well compare the two Terrans and their build orders. Animated_Vixen goes: Depot at choke, Barracks at choke, Refinery, Barracks at choke, Depot, Depot, Academy, Depot, Factory, Depot. That’s a lot of Depoting! Fox^1’s build order is: Depot at choke, Barracks at choke, Depot, Barracks, Barracks, Depot, Barracks. Looks like he wants a lot of infantry. Interestingly, both Terrans begin their wall-in at almost exactly the same time. I was convinced that one of them was cheating and watching the other. ;) Are you bored yet? Let’s get to some pictures before all my text makes your eyes bleed. Animated_Vixen has sent out an SCV to scout in the counter-clockwise direction. Remember, Dr.Zchivago is his partner and was scouting in the clockwise direction. So it just makes sense. Anyway, this reluctant SCV finds E-Minor’s morphing Hatchery at his choke point, guarded by four Zerglings. Not satisfied with this information, Animated_Vixen commands the SCV to further investigate the Zerg scum. The SCV manages to get back to the Drone line, witnessing every building in E-Minor’s base. Eventually the four Zerglings catch and destroy him, but not before revealing E-Minor’s

Shortly after this, all players finish their choke defense, as can be seen here:

Note the neat two-Barracks wall-in that Animated_Vixen did. It’s the first time I’ve seen that and I though it was kinda cool.

Some team chatter erupts as Fox^1 displays confidence over his wall-in, while his opponent Animated_Vixen states another lack in confidence. Fortunately for Fox^1, his wall-in finishes before Dr.Zchivago’s slowpoke Probe makes it over there, and intimate reconnaissance is denied to the Protoss leader. He does, however, know Fox^1’s position and informs his partner as my Probes sadly look at the Nexus they just destroyed:

There is a short period where the players all focus on their unit production and building orders. Fox^1 begins construction of his third Barracks, while his Vespene Gas geyser remains untouched. Marines are being trained nonstop and rallied to the chokepoint. Meanwhile, his partner, E_Minor, has begun a Lair and Hydra Den almost simultaneously. Dr.Zchivago has been massing Zealots at the top of his ramp via two Gateways, while Animated_Vixen’s Academy is starting. Ah, good. He wants ComSat, presumably because of the early reconnaissance he gathered at E-Minor’s main base.

While this is happening, Animated_Vixen apparently becomes impatient and decides to start some shit.

This cruel insult is not acknowledged by E_Minor, and the players lapse into a short silence once again. Fox^1 suddenly notices that he and E-Minor do not yet know where Dr.Zchivago is, and makes a request of his partner while E-Minor confirms my expert building order prediction. Meanwhile Animated_Vixen begins his first Factory and another Supply Depot, while Dr.Zchivago starts an Assimilator on his Vespene Gas geyser.

To appease his comrade, E-Minor sends a single Zergling towards my main base. Fox^1 sees this and, knowing that there is only one other starting point on the map, sends an SCV there to find whatever it can. (It feels incorrect that I refer to an SCV as “it”, but I do this to avoid confusion between StarCraft units and players of the game. Oh who am I kidding; no one gives a shit.)

As E-Minor’s Lair finishes, Animated_Vixen wonders out loud if there is a plan. Dr.Zchivago’s response is not very encouraging, but then again it leaves a lot of flexability, I suppose. By now, E-Minor’s scouting Zergling has found nothing but a Nexus rubble in my main base, so he sends it to the middle of the map to keep an eye out for any trouble. There is only one starting place left for Dr.Zchivago to be lurking, and Fox^1’s teal SCV is heading right for it. In due time, the SCV (who has the cruel name “Eanus”--I can only imagine the childhood this guy must've had) finds a ramp full of Zealots and immediately retreats. Fox^1 is careful to notify his partner E-Minor what he sees. Dr.Zchivago initally chases the unlucky Eanus, but soon abandons the pursuit and returns his Zealots to the ramp. Actually it looks more like the Zealots were just not on Hold Position, and Dr.Zchivago pulled them back when he saw them chasing Eanus.

As you can see, in a rather “Let’s shit or get off the pot” fashion, Animated_Vixen suggests a plan of attack, to which Dr.Zchivago replies with a simple “k”. Shit, why not? You can also see that Fox^1 proposes a strategy to his partner at the same time. Mass Rines? What do you expect when you have three or four Barracks working constantly? Heh. Fox^1 sends his army outside the wall-in and leaves them at the bottom of his ramp as he awaits E-Minor’s answer. The Marines begin to get restless and try to impress the Command Center's civilian ladies by strutting around, saying bad words, and lifting up things so heavy that they have to grunt. Unfortunately, the only female to pay attention is old "STD" Alice, who smells like sweat and always wears enough makeup to feed China. There are NO medics in the sea of Marines.

E-Minor's answer turns out not to be the affirmative "Yeah, let's kick some ass!" that Fox^1 wanted. Instead, the single red Zergling (who had been patiently sitting in the middle of the map) notices a cluster of blue Zealots passing by. E-Minor wisely chose to relay this information to Fox^1, saying, "Blue out." Since the Zealots were heading away from Fox^1’s main base, it was somewhat obvious that E-Minor was about to be attacked, unless Zealots like to take leisurely walks during times of war.

E-Minor’s defenses consisted of some sunken colonies, a few Zerglings, and a few Hydras, all located at the choke point. What's gonna happen??

After seeing the Protoss army on the move, E-Minor glances over Fox^1’s troops and declares his prediction. Fox^1 has the perfect answer to this. Meanwhile, Animated_Vixen finishes a StarPort and his troops, consisting of Marines, Medics, and Firebats, join Dr.Zchivago’s Zealots in the top middle of the map, just outside of E-Minor’s ramp.

Suddenly, Dr.Zchivago and Animated_Vixen attack! We all know how Zealots are gung-ho about giving their lives to Aiur (dumbasses). These blue Zealots are no different and rush E-Minor’s sunken colonies while the Terrans wait, finally taking shots only after the Zealots had engaged battle. E-Minor instantly begins morphing his Hydras into Lurkers and hopes that the scant Zerglings and Sunken Colonies can fend the attack until his Lurkers hatch.

Impressively, Fox^1 had seen the trouble and even told E-Minor so before the request for help came. Maybe after game one, Fox^1 was a bit more careful about monitoring his ally. :D At any rate, teal Marines were on their way and nearly halfway to the battlefield by the time E-Minor even uttered “Help”. Remind me to have Fox^1 on my 2vs2 teams from now on.

Back at the battle, E-Minor’s Lurkers hatch just as the last Sunken Colony falls. Despite being completely surrounded, the Lurkers manage to burrow and attack. In an excellent move, E-Minor has one of the Lurkers run underneath an Overlord and burrow there. This is a great move because the Terran and Protoss trespassers will not be able to target the Lurker, since the Overlord’s pus-filled lardass will cover it. As a result, the Lurker will get a few free hits out until the Overlord is killed, at which point the invaders would finally be able to attack it.

Well, it works good in theory, anyway. Unfortunately, the Overlord was apparently not in Hold Position mode, and it only took a few shots in the can to convince it to move away. Thus the Lurker was exposed and mauled.

Look at how quick Animated_Vixen was with the ComSat. The instant those Lurkers burrowed, he scanned and as a result the threat was neutralized optimally.

However, it takes a second ComSat to finish off the last Lurker, and at that very moment Fox^1’s Billion Marine March finally reaches E-Minor’s base. Speaking of which, E-Minor, now completely devoid of any defending units, starts morphing all six of his larva into Zerglings. By now, a large number of the enemy Zealots and Marines/Medics/Firebats have been killed, but Fox^1’s help is needed to finish off the last of them. E-Minor’s choke Hatchery barely survives, and all seems well until a cry for help is issued:

The last two Zealots are killed by machine gun fire, and finally, the attack is quelled. Peace momentarily returns to RoseWood.

I would like to take a second to comment on this attack. Dr.Zchivago and Animated_Vixen did an excellent job of coordinating themselves. They both arrived at E-Minor's base at the same time, and once Dr.Zchivago's Zealots engaged the Sunken Colonies, Animated_Vixen's were there to give backup. However, I do think that they made a critical flaw. They spent too much time at E-Minor's choke point. Within a few seconds, the defending Zerglings had fallen, and E-Minor's Hydras were all inside Lurker eggs. It would have been the perfect time to run up to the Drones and have a heyday--E-Minor's Sunken Colonies sure as hell weren't going to get up and chase them. Instead, both Dr.Zchivago and Animated_Vixen targeted the static Colonies--giving time for E-Minor's Lurkers to hatch, as well as Fox^1's rescue squad to arrive. Only when there were about two Zealots left did any attack on the Drones take place, and by then it was too late to do much. Had the Drones been attacked earlier, E-Minor would have been eaten alive. Lucky!

Then again, it's easy to comment on someone else's game. For example, if I have been in the same situation as Dr.Zchivago, I probably would have said, "PuRpLe TeRrAnS??!1!!1! AGHASSGGHADIEDIE!!!" and attacked my ally. Or something stupid like that. What I want to say is that I'm not trying to nit-pick these guys. I just want to make this a BattleReport that someone might actually learn from...

Well, back to the game...

The sight of Fox^1’s enormous army of Marines has given Dr.Zchivago and Animated_Vixen the chills, but come on, guys! You just beat on E-Minor's base. Cheer up! They're just a bunch of pussy Marines anyway.

When E-Minor’s 12 new Zerglings finally hatch, he makes a bold move and sends his tiny army towards Dr.Zcihvago’s main base. Fox^1’s Marines (now finally supplemented with Medics) begin the journey down the map as well. During this time, Fox^1 begins construction of a 5th Barracks.

Let’s take a look at Dr.Zchivago’s defense. As you can see, he has three Zealots, two Dragoons, and two cannons (powered by a single Pylon) guarding his ramp. This is a rather low troop count, but two Gateways are producing more Protoss assholes as fast as they can.

In addition, Dr.Zchivago begins two more cannons at a strategic location, overlooking the bottom of his ramp. I tried to place the image roughly where the cannons were warping in, so you can get the general idea. These cannons have just begun-will they finish in time to help?

Upon arriving, E-Minor sort of barges in with his Zerglings, while the bulk of Fox^1’s troops are still on their way. The result is a lot of dead Zerglings. Splat, splat, splat. In a matter of seconds, the poor things are reduced to mere puddles of gore, and Fox^1's army barely lifts a finger to help.

While this happens, Animated_Vixen notices the attack and informs his partner that help is on the way.

Note how Dr.Zchivago retreated his Zealots up the ramp. Normally, I believe the preferred way to fight is to allow your melee units to engage the enemy, while your ranged attackers get free shots. However, since there was only three Zealots, it seems that they would not have lasted long enough to serve that purpose. So, to cut to the point, I think that retreating the Zealots was the right thing to do. Was it? Tell me what you think in the comments. (Maybe they could have been set on Hold Position mode and blocked the ramp?)

Oh yeah, back to the action. Dr.Zchivago’s defenses continue to rain shots onto Fox^1’s Marines and Medics. The two new cannons have finished warping and add to the slaughter. For some reason, Fox^1’s guys just sort of run around in the basin of Dr.Zchivago’s ramp, constantly getting pelted and occasionally returning fire. To make matters worse, Animated_Vixen’s rescue squad arrives, consisting of some Marines, Medics, and a Tank. Fox^1 is now sandwitched and takes many losses.

During this fight, I notice that E-Minor is sending three red squares towards Dr.Zchivago’s base. (They are squares because I was looking on the minimap!) Strangely, though, the squares stop moving and wait smack dab in the center of the map. Fox^1's Marines continue to fight, but they can't seem to decide what to attack. Some are shooting the Dragoons, some are shooting the two brand new cannons, and some are shooting Animated_Vixen's Marines. Not to mention that there are still a healthy number of teal Marines running around like chickens with their heads cut off. The stimpacks are not enough to let Fox^1's Marines handle everything, and the Medics aren't enough to keep them alive. The teal infantry begin dropping like flies.

As this gruesome slaughter continues,E-Minor sees the predictament Fox^1 is in and advises a hasty retreat. By now it is too late, however, and the rest of Fox^1’s poor infantry die on the battlefield before they can escape...

The attack has been a colossal failure. I have no idea how many units Fox^1 lost, but I can tell you the extent of damage done to Dr.Zchivago. Two cannons have begun burning. That's it. Not one single Terran or Zerg set a single foot past the Protoss' choke. Nicely done, Dr.Zchivago!

You may be wondering what those three red squares I spotted on the minimap are. E-Minor reveals his intentions and I quickly check out Animated_Vixen’s base to see what he has to defend. Surprisingly, there seems to be relatively few troops in the base. There are two dropships hovering close to the Command Center, a third Barracks being built, and a second dropship heading north, towards the mineral-only island expansion. Hmm…

This dropship suddenly stops in its tracks and reamins idle for a long time, as Animated_Vixen realizes he has uninvited guests. E-Minor sends in his three Lurkers without waiting for Fox^1 to get his brand new, just-out-of-the-barracks glob of Marines there. Yes, he has actually rebuild his entire army already. I guess that's one of the perks of having enough Barracks to block out the sun. :)

Do you remember Animated_Vixen’s building order? If so, then you might be asking, “Hey, what about that double-Barracks wall-in? How could those Lurkers just waltz right into Animated_Vixen’s base?” The answer to that is because someone left the door open. There was no Barracks to prevent anything from coming inside, and E-Minor took full advantage of it. Realistically, though, Animated_Vixen was not at any fault. Wall-ins are most effective in the early game, to make sure you don’t get slaughtered in an early rush. After the initial cautionary time period, the Wall-in becomes more of an annoyance than a safety feature, as it is a pain to get your troops outside.

Bleh. I talked too much. Back in the game, E-Minor’s Lurkers are spotted and (suprisingly) easily killed by the scant troops inside Animated_Vixen’s base without getting more than a couple attacks off. This failed invasion did manage to uncover a new Command Center being constructed, but that is about it. E-Minor mourns his dead Lurkers for a brief second and immediately begins twelve Zerglings.

Fox^1’s buttload of Marines and Medics arrive at their destination and enter the base. However, the Lurker attack has given Animated_Vixen a warning. Two new Tanks pop out of twin Factories at about the same time, and siege immediately--just in time to attack Fox^1’s army. One of the hovering dropships unloads two more Tanks, which in turn siege as well. Despite these makeshift defenses, Fox^1 is able to push his way through with sheer numbers. (You can really tell this guy is a Zerg player. :D)

Dr.Zchivago, who is probably still laughing over the “attack” he “suffered” earlier, sees Animated_Vixen’s plight and sends word that help is on the way. A cluster of Dragoons and several Zealots begin hustling to the purple Terran’s base, but it's a looong trip. Will they make it?

It just so happens that E-Minor’s Zerglings have hatched and are in transit to the same location. By chance, the two reinforcement armies meet at the bottom of Animated_Vixen’s choke and begin to fight. The Zerglings lose this fight, but manage to stall Dr.Zchivago for a minute or two and let Fox^1 rampage for a little bit longer. Many an SCV die, as Animated_Vixen mysteriously does not order them to run away towards Dr.Zchivago’s troops for protection. The stubborn little bastards keep right on mining.

Finally, Dr.Zchivago’s Dragoons and Zealots make their way up into Animated_Vixen’s main. E-Minor warns his partner, but by now Fox^1’s army has been reduced enough for the Dragoons to just barely finish them off. Animated_Vixen’s base is finally free of invaders. He takes this time to send the new Command Center to his natural, and begins making Tanks and Vultures from his Factories. It is nice and quiet for about ten seconds, and then suddenly E-Minor arrives with two more Lurkers, who rush in and burrow by Animated_Vixen’s double Factories. A ComSat and newly sieged Tank destroy the Lurkers before they do much damage at all.

At this point Fox^1 begins floating a new Command Center to his natural

Undiscouraged, E-Minor sends in yet another wave of twelve Zerglings. (Persistent bugger, isn’t he?) On route to Animated_Vixen’s base, the Zerglings meet a single Dragoon at the foot of the ramp and kill it in seconds. However, this distraction gives Animated_Vixen just enough time to lay a mine on his ramp, and---well, see for yourselves.

Finally, Animated_Vixen has a base clear of enemies. Really! The toll of these attacks was rather high, though. Animated_Vixen lost a LOT of SCV’s, and a few buildings as well, and many purple Terrans were killed while defending their base. Animated_Vixen is temporarily without a large army. To make matters worse, the Zerg left their calling card--defacement of the Command Center.

Note the small number of SVCs that survived.

Allow me to comment on this attack. I hate to say it, but Fox^1 and E-Minor’s teamwork was really lacking during this raid. When those three Lurkers rushed inside Animated_Vixen’s base all by themselves, they died before accomplishing anything, and also warned Animated_Vixen that he was a target. As a result, Animated_Vixen was able to barely defeat Fox^1’s enormous army (with help from Dr.Zchivago). Imagine if those Lurkers had gotten inside the base with a Marine escort. Not to mention the 24 Zerglings and 2 additional Lurkers that came later--Animated_Vixen would have been easily crushed. Fortunately for him, his opponents made a critical error and he was able to capitalize on it to survive. What it boils down to is that E-Minor and Fox^1 did not once attack together--and were thus beatable.

Well, I guess that's a good spot to quit. Things have quieted down for the time being, so it seems like a natural stopping point. Please read the second half of this Report here. Hopefully, the link will take you there, unless someone accidentally posts between the two separate Reports, in which case...BASTARD!