"SuingForDamages will end up being the next YRM.
3 years from now we'll all laugh at this report!
Oh wait, we already are laughing."
-Johnny_Vegas
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| Hacker Ownage! | | | Author: | | | IP: | 193.242.XXXX | | Date: | 04/07/01 12:04 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 3, Min: 3
Lifetime Rating for skimoose: 4.5000 |  | Here is my first battlereport. Enjoy!!
Warning: The following battlereport contains extreme hacking and is on BGH. If you like to see hackers getting owned, read on.
Sorry about the lack of pics. I'm kinda bored at work, so I though I should share a little tale about some hackers getting owned by me and a friend of mine last night. So give your hamster a rest and continue reading.....
After trying to create a "2v2 bgh" game for like 10 minutes, we finally get one started (yeah). Me and my friend both random and my cc lands at the 1 o'clock position (if you don't know bgh...um...uh I don't know what to tell you. You must have been under a rock for like the last 2 years). After some cloning, I start making scvs. I see my partner got toss at 9 o'clock. The other 2 players picked toss and zerg. At 8 supply, I start construction of a depot, flush with my cc, then a barracks at 10 supply next to that, forming a nice spot for a bunker. At 12, I make another rax and another depot. At this point, one of our opponents says: "YOU ARE NOW DEAD". My first rax finishes 3 secs later, so I put a bunker in the spot I made for it with my other buildings. Checking on my ally, I see that he early cannoned his natural and expanded soon after. So, I pretty much have to survive on my own until late game. I point this out to him, and he says:"I'm just fucking around this game". Yeah for us.
So, my first marine goes on a scouting mission, clockwise around the map. My ally send a probe clockwise from his base also. We find that red toss is in the 11 o'clock position and orange zerg in the 6 o'clock postion. While we were scouting, I started an academy, another depot, and sometime along a factory. I had about 5 rines and a couple medics when the zerg player says: "go in from the back" (allied chat is a mystery to some ppl). So .02 secs later, red says "hi" in the form of 4 zealots. They kill the scvs building the factory and depot (murderers!) and then start in on the buildings themselves. I send in my troops, and micro my rines to get the zealots in range of my full bunker. They die quickly, so I send some scvs to finish building the fact/depot. I also started making firebats (bats >>>> zealots) and researching stim. Red attacks again, to the same area of my base, but my M&M&F easily take care of it. At this point, I realize comstat is my only means of detection, so I start on an e-bay and a starport (hoping for svs).
At this point my ally has done not much yet. He is still powering/teching. My starport finishes, so I start building a science facility(svs). Red leaves like 5-6 zealots outside my choke, so I send in some bats/meds to have a barbecue. Then getting a little ballsy (I blame coors light) I decide to attack red. I send 2 tanks and a sizeable amount of infantry over to 11 o'clock. During this, my science facility finishes. I start on an sv and start researching irradiate. My troops arrive at reds choke, tanks seige and start shooting a gateway. Zealots charge, and then procede to go *poof*. I begin to move my little seige closer, when my base starts flashing. A quick spacebar shows me 18238 orange mutas spitting on stuff. SHIT!
So, I run my scvs away from my mineral line, and start making turrets around my base. The M&M I was building for my next wave on red charge and kill stuff. My first (and only) sv irradiates the stack of mutas. Then some turrets come online and the threat is gone. I resume mining. I go back to my seige to see my marines dying to a blur thing. I scan, and kill 2 dts, but not before losing all but 2 marines. So, I send them back to my base. At this point my ally has done nothing whilst I have been getting double teamed.
So now the fun starts. I get a couple more tanks and lots more infantry. I research infantry attack. At this juncture, orange decides to mass drop me with like 10 overlords of hydra/lurker. *sigh* I lose 75% of my scvs right quick. My tanks seige, M&M charge. I start a bunker below my other one, effectivly covering all my tech buildings. I send a plea: "help". "Fly to me" is the response. Fucking great! So I lift all my liftable buildings, move them over my bunkers, and load up the bunkers. I irradiate 2 lurkers. The hydras die pretty quick, but the lurkers are having a field day. The lurkers move in to kill my bunkers, stop, wait 5 secs, then finally burrow (great micro). With some repairing, and some more irradiate, I manage to survive. I tell my ally to kill stuff, so he sends 9389389 dragoons to reds base, razing it.
I start to rebuild. Its slow going, so inform my opponents of something: "you attacked the wrong guy. nice hacking btw." My ally crushes orange so he leaves. Red is still hanging around. He decides to do the ever popular hide the pylon trick. Then he informs us: U GUYS SUCK. I HAVE A NO LOSS HACK. JUST ALLY ME. rofl. It must really suck to know exactly what your enemies are doing at all times, and still not be able to beat them. And I love it when they beg for mercy!
Conclusion: Newbie hackers don't have any skill whatsoever, and they are fun to beat on! |
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