"But he lags like a government worker"
-VRAM1974
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| Scumbrain's first BR | | | Author: | | | IP: | dsl092-1XXXX | | Date: | 03/08/02 04:03 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 3, Min: 3
Lifetime Rating for Scumbrain: 3.0000 |  | Scumbrain¡¯s first battlereport
Yeti had a good battlereport. But Scumbrain want to try it in 3rd person view too. Scumbrain know how to play Barfmat very good. Scumbrain does not know how to spell it so he used his ears and heard someone say Barfmat. Close enough. Scumbrain turn on comp00ter but it stops. Comp00ter does not do anything. Scumbrain bashes the comp00ter and it breaks into two. Scumbrain goes to buy new computer. New comp00ter costs 200,000 dollars. Scumbrain uses his water gun and shoots oil into clerk¡¯s eye and then throws a flaming match at clerk. Clerk falls down howling and Scumbrain rushes off with new comp00ter. Scumbrain careful not to break comp00ter this time. Everything work for Scumbrain. The comp00ter turns on and Barfmat can be played! Scumbrain gives a cheer and logs onto Battle.Net.
Scumbrain uses battlenet name called Barfmat. He thinks if he uses the game real name, people would think he was the designer. Then they would play him. Scumbrain goes to channel Terran Strategy. There was 3 names there. Scumbrain says ¡°Hi.¡± Three names do not answer. Scumbrain says HI!. Scumbrain enters a game called 1v1 EXPERTS ONLY!.
Mecca: Rdy?
Scumbrain: Barfmat want to br this
Mecca: ¡
Scumbrain: Barfmat¡¯s first BR.
Mecca: ok¡.let¡¯s just go
Scumbrain doesn¡¯t type very fast, so the countdown goes down before he could say
¡°Barfmat want help with BR.¡±
Scumbrain sees the screen turn dark. He thinks there is something wrong with his comp00ter again. He quickly checks it but it soons turn light again. Scumbrain is able to continue game. Scumbrain sees machines and a big round thing in his view. He knows that he is Blue Terran. Whenever there is machines and a big round thing, it is terran. Whenever there is bugs and a couple of ants, and a pointy shaped building, it is zerg. Whenever there is small skinny robots, and a castle-like fort, it is protoss. Scumbrain get into game very fast.
Scumbrain move 3 machines to blue stuff. He knows he needs them. He said ¡°Barfmat want more blue stuff.¡±
Mecca: You mean you¡¯re gonna get high on them?
Scrumbrain: No I need them.
Mecca: okay¡
Scumbrain thinks Mecca is mean. He closes Barfmat and goes on E-net. His mainpage turns out to be www.yahoo.com. Scumbrain searches for Hacks. He finds one and downloads it. He downloaded Winzip, Media player, and he found a cool place called Morpheus. Scumbrain presses random keys on his board in Morpheus and it turns out to be ¡°porn.¡± Scumbrain sees many awesome downloads. He downloads ¡°WATCH THOSE LESBIANS¡¡± and ¡°NUDE AT HOME!¡± He opens them. A popup comes up (mediaplayer) and it starts to show a girl walking around. Suddenly she starts stripping. Scumbrain says ¡°YUCK!¡± and closes bar.
He goes to starcraft. Oh no! Scumbrain cannot hack Mecca! He will have to hack someone else! But Scumbrain does not want to hack someone else if they are good to them! Scumbrain goes onto battlenet again. He joins 4v4 $$BGHMONEY$$. Scumbrain has no idea what BGH means, but he joins. Scumbrain finds he is the last name to join. Wow a lotta ppl! One guy goes ¡°SUCKER!¡± and another goes ¡°YOU SUCK!¡±. Scumbrain does not realize that they were yelling at each other and Alt+Tab and turned on hacks. When the game started everything was normal. Except that he could see everything. Hmm¡he thought. Maybe this is a ¡°No fog of war¡± game. He quickly started playing. Soon he saw a group of people running towards his base. He clicked on 2 of his machines, pressed move and went to an area. Then he stopped them. He knew that Barfmat units would kill when they saw someone. The machines then started to run away! Scumbrain thought quickly. He had always had a fast mind, his mother once said. He did Alt+Tab once again, and put another hack on. The bar said ¡°YOU ARE DEFEATED!¡± so Scumbrain thinks he won. He gives a cry of cheers. Oh, the joy and pride of winning!. He didn¡¯t want to play Barfmat anymore, he was sleepy. Scumbrain says nighty-night to his teddy bear and goes to a deep deep sleep.
Scumbrain does not know how to do a very good BR. So this is sadly the best he can do.
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