Now I've seen a bunch of shitty reports in my life, and though I'm definitly not a great BRer myself, I have seen some text only reports that are pretty bad. They go along the lines of this.
"The map is LT, players are Sadjoe and badfred, orange goes into blues base, blue uses sunks to fend the attacking probes off while countering with marines and destroying oranges hatchery"

Yea something like that. Yes i know its very sad. So though it's only my second report I'm going to try to give you something that not many people can give. Partially correct english grammer, pictures, and the assurance that I'm NOT writing this in school. I also won't use sad abbrevations for words like I for introduction or other sad ones. And please read this report before you post, I'd appreciate the reader to not go to the comment section first, say "#523" or something, and then "now to read...".

That being said, let's go through this like a normal BR introduction. It was any normal day, (just like this is any normal BR intro...), well...actually it was a Saturday, which isn't normal because that only happens once every seven days....Anyways it was the first time I had been in ~nohunters. That may sound strange since just about everyone at BR.com hangs out there or in x17 but to me it was a new adventure. Wanting to test out my skills I tried observing a few games and then playing some. This game is the second game I played, and was an FFA. I had been staying in the channel for like 30 minutes and I was mad. Why couldn't these NH people get a game going? Anyways I spammed and spammed, and finally some people decided to play an FFA. The game was decided to be the typical Lost Temple. I hope you know the layout of it because I sure am not going to put up a damn map. I'll end this conversation with some weird quote I guess like others.

Redemption6: LOL maru dropped twice in 2 games
[)agomar: OMG obs shut the fuck up
That being said...let's start.

Redemption6 Purple Terran- Okay I'm a pretty much average all around person. I just discovered NH but I have figured out that I'm not the worst there, though I'm not too good. I have average control of both micro/macro and I tech up reasonably fast, at least fast enough to compete.

-;- Teal Terran- This person hangs around a lot in NH and lately I have played a few matches, both with and against him (like 4 matches or so). He beat me in 1v1 with a sad DT rush because I was...well...er...unprepared. He's pretty good and he's an all around type of person.

ARandomNewbie Yellow Terran- This person is just like the rest of us in terms of micro/macro and control over terran units. I guess he likes to attack a lot of people at once in an FFA which leaves him open to attack. His strategy is unpredictable but easy to poke holes through if you know it.

Ig-Hydra Red Toss- O please you didn't think it would be an all terran gay ffa did you? Anyways I think this guy is somewhere at about 1040-1100 on ladder. Hes pretty good and I was surprised at just how fast he expanded compared to the rest of us.

Enough said, let's get on with this. The game started and I was fortunate to land my rugged and rusty command center (built ford tough bitch) (YEA THATS RIGHT, THATS NEVER BEEN USED BEFORE HAS IT!?) at the 3:00 position. Teal, yellow, and red had the positions 9:00, 6:00, 12:00 respectively. Red sent this scout counterclockwise, sigh, just another turbo scout...long did I know that this scout...would make it around the world.

Well the probe almost made it, it got to every base and died at teal's. Me and -;- were just too lazy to scout so we just sat there while ARandomNewbie and IG-Hydra scouted everywhere. As you can see they even scouted at the same place. -;- must have been like "o man im fuxored, 2 scouts > 1 scv and 1 marine". Once the two scouts perished in teals base the game moved on. Each of us took our own respective builds which will be shown below.

"o man im fuxored, Two scouts > then 1 scv and 1 marine"

Everything seemed to go silent as the faint sound of crickets chirping could be heard. Each person built up their forces a bit while trying to grab their naturals and at the same time harrasing other peoples naturals. Not wanting to be the last one to get their natural, I quickly started the construction of a command center there. At the same time I decided to go for a small tank and vulture push so I sent a SCV to build a missle turret near but not too close to Ig-Hydra's main ramp. Long did that SCV know that he was about to play an important part in this battle, he would be first blood (besides that damn scouting probe that died already...). Im sure he wasn't too happy about that but who cares. I was about halfway building the turret when 3 dragoons came and demolished it, then returned back to base. Wow, Hydra must be a psychic I thought as I imagined him turning off his map hack really fast to avoid us from detecting it....hehe im just kidding I won't accuse anyone of hacking this game...I'll keep my opinions to myself. After that another eerie silence followed while ARandomNewbie, -;-, and I built up our respective metal forces and Ig-Hydra not building much of anything and expanding like a whore.

The silence didn't last too long however as arclite fire started raining on my natural. As I moved my cursor down, I saw that ARandomNewbie had decided to drop my cliff with 2 tanks. Accompanied by a wraith this was truly a formidable force, seeing as I only had one tank covering my expansion. From the high ground the dropship provided sight for the tanks, which demolished everything in sight with their great arclite cannons. The wraith was more like a pesky brat more then anything, doing hit and runs against my now floating away CC. It was just then however that 2 tanks popped out of my factories, and together with the 2 tanks guarding my main, I descended the ramp, and ended the threat. The wraith was the only thing that made it back alive.

At the same time this had been happening -;- had expanded to the top left island, while IG-Whore (i mean hydra) continued his expanding by going to his natural. After our little feud, ARandomNewbie and I obviously knew that we had to get the same mineral income as our other 2 opponents or we would get behind in this FFA. I quickly resumed mining out of my natural again while reinforcing it with 2 tanks this time (wow improvement) and ARandomNewbie expanded to the bottom right island. I continued producing mech and I now had around 3 tanks and 8 goliaths to use for attacking. -;- had a few more tanks then me but his force wasn't that much larger than mine. ARandomNewbie proved that he could stay in this game by having a metal force that matched or was greater then either of ours. It has seemed that Hydra was going for ground, as I scouted and saw a few newly produced blinking gateways in his base. As my first dropship came online I comsated the bottom right, and lo and behold I found ARandomNewbies fat ass occupying it, defending it with a lone scv. I thought to myself, "hmm i need an expansion, and I hate ARandomNewbie for tanking my natural...what should I do?" Using my clear logic and with vengeance on my mind I loaded my newly produced dropship with 2 gols and 2 scvs, and I set out for the island.

He never saw it coming. 2 goliaths unloaded and gunfire erupted through the steam caused by the landing of the dropship. Baam Baam Baam. O I wished that I could see ARandomNewbies face now, ashen with terror and fear...well maybe not. But easy to say the goliaths made quick work of the SCV and started firing on the nearly done command center. Strange, I thought, he's not canceling his CC. As I pondered what that meant, ARandomNewbie was already loading 2 dropships, full of goliaths and tanks.

On the other half of the map, IG-Hydra and -;- were having their share of small skirmishes. Hydra sent in 3 dragoons to do some harassing on -;-'s mineral only, only to figure out that -;- handed expanded there. He then marched straight into his natural and found that he hadn't expanded there either, however tank fire drove him back. After doing that he sent a zealot to go check out ARandomNewbies base, and found it was defended with a factory/rax wall-in and a few tanks, vultures, and goliaths. Realizing that he couldn't do much, Hydra dropped 2 dragoons on -;-'s natural, in case he decided to expand there.

Back at the southeast island the goliaths were laying ruin to the command center. But I had already figured out ARandomNewbie's ploy and had loaded my own dropship with 2 tanks. By coincidence our two dropships got there at the EXACT same time. Dropping the 2 tanks quickly and sieging them, I used the high ground of the cliff, taking advantage of the fact that he had dropped his units on low ground. Without sight the two tanks that he sent were gone in a flash, leaving 4 goliaths to tend with. 3 of them somehow found my tank on the ledge and started firing it, but with 2 goliaths of my own I was able to overpower this meager force without the loss of the tank. Shortly thereafter a command center was made along with missle turrets, thus fortifying the expansion, and ending a great battle that was fought there.

After the dust cleared at the expansion, ARandomNewbie decided that he would continue with his metal force. It was at this point that IG-Hydra decided that he would expand twice more. First expanding to -;-'s mineral only, and then to mine. Both of these moves were dangerous seeing as how each expansion was overlooked by a cliff, and the two mineral only's he stole happened to belong to 2 terran metal players. IG-Hydra decided that he would be fine however, and started building a few cannons to fortify each of these. His carelessness dealt him a swift and brutal blow as it turned out that -;- had found this expansion, and loading up 3 tanks and 6 gols into 3 dropships and dropping them on his own natural cliff, he started tanking IG-Hydra's new expansion.

On the right side of the map calmness had settled in for awhile. I had decided for a cliff drop on ARandomNewbie and had loaded up some tanks and goliaths into 3 dropships, all ready to go. Just as I left my natural cliff, ARandomNewbie used his g0su logic skills to deduce that if he lost an expansion, then I would lose one too. With a sudden thrust of energy, he dropped 5 tanks and 6 or so goliaths on my natural cliff. Upon seeing arclite fire raining on my scvs, I quickly ran them away and lifted my CC there. There was no chance that my 2 tanks would prevent this attack. Thus I took my drop that I had planned on using to get HIS natural and I dumped it on the edge of my natural cliff. By doing this I was able to take down a tank and all his goliaths, but unfortunately I only had 2 goliaths and 2 tanks left. Knowing that it would do nothing to his 4 sieged tanks up by the northwest part of the cliff, I tried to think of something better to do. Suddenly an idea popped into my head. His tanks were clustered together with a HOLE right in between them, and they were all seiged. If I could drop 2 tanks right into that hole, all his tanks would have to unsiege to hit me. Sometimes I could even amaze myself. My plan worked out beautifully as I dropped the 2 tanks(the same ones on the natural cliff) right in that hole and targetted the damaged tanks first. His tanks were forced to unsiege but together with the 3 or so goliaths left on my cliff I easily overpowered them, losing no units.

ARandomNewbie didn't stop there with the offense however. He had comsatted Ig-Hydra's expansion by my mineral only, and knowing that he sure damn well couldn't let Hydra get half the map, he left his base with a formidable force of 15 goliaths and tanks. As they started laying waste to Hydra's expansion, Hydra showed that he hadn't been doing nothing for the last 5 minutes by throwing a zealot and dragoon force 3 times the number of the attacking force at it. As you can imagine, 45 zeals and drags > 5 tanks and 10 gols and the attacking force had its ass kicked, killing only the nexus and a few probes.

Now IG-Hydra was mad, and he was also dangerous. With his still strong ground force, he decided that he would make ARandomNewbie regret killing that nexus. Sending a group of 40 or so zealots and dragoons, with a few scattered templar here and there, he set out for ARandomNewbie's mineral only, which was defended by the same wall-in and 20 tanks and goliaths. As psi met metal dust started to make a huge cloud over the area. ARandomNewbie's wall-in proved not to be futile as the zealots had a hard time trying to get in. Through some nice micro, the tanks fired at the dragoons while the goliaths dealt with the pesky zealots. Most of the templar died upon entering the battle area but one lucky one did get a psi storm off. And a great one it was as it took down 4 or so tanks and 2 goliaths. Though Newbie had won the battle, it had drastically reduced his forces to mere ash and had ripped up a few key producing buildings. As he rebuilt, Newbie hoped that he could grasp to whatever little he had and make a great comeback. As thoughts of a glorified comeback filled his head, sharp arclite fire brought him back to reality. As he looked to see what had damned him, his breath left him. I had obviously been mad that I had to fight for the expansion, and I had dropped 4 tanks and 4 goliaths on his natural cliff. With nothing left to protect his last mining source, ARandomNewbie bowed out with a respectful "gg".

With one player gone, let's have a brief minimap update

One down, 2 to go I thought to myself. -;- was obviously shocked. Being basically out of the action the whole game (besides that one exp drop) he had no clue what was going on. Much to my dismay, he had to express this out loud.

Wishing that he could just shut up, I decided that I would just ignore him and continue playing. Squelching him seemed like a bad idea in case he happened to blurt out any information. I'm not usually a person to get worked up over small things like this anyways. The game resumed and I started building up my metal force once again. At this point I was producing out of a full 4 factories and was mining out of three colletive bases. I was considering of mining out of ARandomNewbie's old base but decided against it. However, I did make sure no one else got it. -;- was also producing metal at a furious pace, and once again a bone-chilling silence lulled the battlefield. 2 and a half minutes later, out of the blue...came...

Any hope that this ffa would not involve any capital warships disapated as I could only think of one thing...shit. Frantically I asked where. I comsatted his main once, and didn't find anything except a few gateways, which I already knew. Where I typed, this time more forcefully. -;- either didn't want to face carriers alone, or he liked me (probably the first one) because he told me that they were in IG-Hydra's mineral only. IG-Hydra moved his carriers to his main quickly to prevent me from seeing the numbers he had, thus when I comsatted I only saw 3-4 stargates and a fleet beacon. That however, was all I needed to see. Tank production disappeared overnight as goliath were the only thing I made. Turrets were frantically erected in random places. I comsatted once again, and this time I found him. 8 carriers with arbiter and scout support, much worse then I had previously thought. "O man" I muttered, no way my 12 goliaths could take this on. As goliath production hit it's maximum a lone arbiter entered my base through the west side. "wtf?" I wondered. The arbiter then retreated again after being fired upon by a lone missle turret. -;- must have been wondering what was going on, because he was probably wetting his pants at this point;). Being the smart person that he is, he started making valks. Unfortunately, I wasn't that smart. I was still wondering what that lone arbiter was for when it hit me. "He's testing to see if he can recall his troops in". Frantically I started getting my troops in groups, trying to find places to navigate through. Unfortunatly my buildings clogged the way for my goliaths, and they just started fidgeting randomly. I watched in horror as the arbiter entered my base a second time. Many small blue warp circles started appearing in my base. "o fickity fook" I thought, "im fux0red". And fux0red I was because he recalled his entire air fleet, along with 4 templar and 12 zealots. It was...much worse then I thought.

Missle barrages lifted into the air as my random missle turret placement proved to be ineffective, then again carriers own all types of defensive structures anyways. My goliaths had huge trouble because it was either target the zealots, or target the carriers, but not both. I targeted his carriers, hoping his zealots would go for my tanks. But micro was on his side as 6 zealots came into my party of 16 goliaths. Focused on hitting the carriers, the zealots took my goliaths down one by one. Splash damage from my tanks spilled all over my goliaths, and eventually both ground forces were vanquished. The only thing that I could be grateful for was the fact that none of the templar had gotten a storm off, even though that was hardly anything to be happy with seeing as how I had 8 carriers sitting in my base, destroying depots and tech strutures.

As my fingers started typing in the message for observer status, -;- did the most useful thing he would do all game. He targetted IG-Hydra's expansion at my mineral only with 8+ goliaths. IG-Hydra was interested in killing my base, but he was more interested in saving the one mining source that he had left. Retracting all his carriers, he left my base in ruins and squashed the small group. Then, waiting in the middle for arbiter support again, he decided -;- was more of a threat then I was. Rallying his carriers, he left my base and performed the small arbiter dance in -;-'s base. -;- had about 30 goliaths and valks waiting for him, but hid in the shadows while the arbiter came in. As the arbiter came in a second time, it recalled 8 carriers and 4 or so scouts into the base. What happened next, was not pretty. Goliaths started marching out along with valks, shooting their missles at the poor carriers. As carrier after carrier fell, a message flashed through IG-Hydra's head. Flee Flee Flee! He followed the voice as his arbiter ran his ass away first, followed by 2 frantic carriers and 3 scouts.

With the carrier battle concluded, IG-Hydra would have to find some other way to get back in the game rather then using his doomfleet. -;-and I have found our refuge in metal, and we're both producing them at a furious pace, with a 2-1 ratio of goliaths and tanks respectively. With that said, please move on to part II.