Matchup of ChampOnions

Gather around, get comfortable. I have a story to tell you. The tale of two warriors destined to clash in a world where there can be only one victor. In the northern reaches of Lorderon where winter comes early and the ground is bitten with early frost and long lasting snows there is a place known only as The Woods of Cymarril. The ground froze long ago over the corpses of fallen warriors, and now, today, it shall freeze over another.

I met EpicEpoch and VashTheStampede over the course of my long travels. They both seemed to be wise men, but with a distinct difference. Vash served the King of Lorderon and Epic served the King of the Undead Scourge. I caught them both as they prepared to do battle in these deadly woods. And I sat and watched as they ravaged through each other... and this is what happened...

The Map

I must first show you this remarkable land that seems it was almost made for deadly combat. I hear a masterful man known as Cattlebruiser shaped the very trees and hills themselves, but that may be a vicious rumor.

There are four very likely spots in this area for a starting base and they are all marked A (as well as with a colored X.) These spots are heavily guarded if they're not occupied by one of the combatants. With an Orge Lord leading an Ogre Magi and two Ogres in their posession of a spot of land that is more or less just a goldmine and a few trees...

The center of the map is a fountain of health which is the most heavily guarded area, and makes for unsafe travel except at night when the villianous creeps are asleep. A fountain of health, though, is a boon for any player that can control it. I've marked that as B on the map.

The middle also houses four gold mines that can be converted to the use for a skilled player looking for additional income during battle. These are less guarded than the mains but still are not easy to take without a small army. These can be noted as C on my map above.

In case you're confused, the next item will be D on the map and are two out of the way goldmines that are a very good choice for a warrior who wishes the same benefit of additional income, but does not wish to include as much defense in their purchase of the land. These are very dangerous to capture and usually require a large army to take easily. But the distance from actual combat make their value very high.

The spots marked E on the map are similar to D, but they can only be reached by goblin zepplins which are marked as F on the same map.

Then we have G, these are burned out towns that are held by trolls that are easily defeated even by a single hero. These are very close to the starting bases and are usually the first to be killed. Now let's see just which were first to die!

Lastly, we have H, which are the shops, guarded by nice mean forces as seen here.

The Game

Epic started his mission on the northern starting position and Vash was placed in the eastern position. I fretted I would see either fall to an early attack but both seemed more concerned with the monsters in the forest than with each other. At least, until they saw each other. But I am getting ahead of myself.

The Undead Leader EpicEpoch started with a Crypt, which he might use to build Ghouls, Crypt Fiends or Gargoyles. And a Ziggurat which would provide more spirit power for said Ghouls, Crypt Fiends or Gargoyles and might be upgraded to a Spirit Tower which would hurl damned soul beams at enemy attackers.

Vash also built traditionally with a Barracks and Alter right next to his goldmining line. This special positioning would ensure that Death & Decay would be able to kill his gold mining peasants, his castle, his barracks, AND his alter without having to be carefully positioned.

Epic's Acoylte seemed to summon the Undead buildings out of his own hands because the crypt wasn't even built before he was able to toss up a Graveyard which would be immensely useful for upgrades and turning Ziggurats into Spirit Towers. You do, afterall, have to have a place for people tobe buried if you are going to war. The Crypt in the next picture is virtually completed and it immediately begins to pump Ghouls to harvest lumber.

Meanwhile, Vash has completed his Barracks, his Alter, AND his first Farm. After some initial confusion as to which hero he wanted, as I saw him place the order for a Mountain King, he recinded his order and put in a new one immediately for a Paladin. Lord knows I confuse those human heros with their beards. But he is already trained one Footman and has another on the way before Epic has his first Ghoul produced.

The famous Paladin Sage Truthbearer answers Vash's call to battle and arrives on the scene while a psychic Epic announces the same thing.

A very important thing to note here is Vash's scouting tactic. Although he scouts in the wrong direction, he sends out a militia man to gain familiarity with the map as well as hopefully spot the valuable location of Epic's main base.

Epic's Alter finishes and shortly after his Graveyard and while he's waiting he gains a Death Knight. The antithesis to the Paladin. Both heal their own forces, and harm the others. The Death Knight Baron Perenolde is a particularly vicious man who was outcast from the Paladin Corp for unspeakable crimes.

Vash begins creeping slightly before Epic, but they both spend a good portion of time creeping throughout the match.

Vash is great at multitasking his forces and manages to continue his peasant's scouting during the knight, which saves him from some embarassing moments. Here we see him in a Bilbo Baggins type situation, with the area he has scouted highlighted in yellow...

Both players continue building their bases while creeping and manage to tech to their second-tier main halls at virtually the same time.

As some of our more astute readers might have noticed, Vash's creeping has yet to turn to the inside and instead is focusing on the outside areas and so he has yet to encounter anything stronger than Trolls. While Trolls provide good experience for the novice adventurer, Sage Truthbearer is anything but a novice and craves the big kills.

More important than Sage's ego is Epic's experience gain by fighting in large, and more difficult, battles such as...

Which lead to yet stronger battles around goldmines and quick leveling as seen here.

Vash is not far behind, and manages to level his Paladin to the second degree, but a one level difference in heros this early cannot be a good sign for Vash's long-term survivability.

Vash's scout finally makes it to Epic's base shortly after sunrise and meets a quick death at the hands of some undead being I didn't see. But I did see the remains...

Back at the bases, Vash's finishes upgrading to a Keep and his peasants begin their long process of building a powerful army of spellcasters...

Epic's base is quickly expanding and he adds a Temple of the Damned as well as another Crypt. It looks like there will be a powerful clash between spellcasters.

Epic becomes ambitious and decides his third level Death Knight needs supervision by a darker demon. A Dreadlord by the name of Zilfallon joins the hunting party that's already heading inward toward the middle...

Epic begins to upgrade to a Black Citadel after his Temple of the Damned completes warping in. But what good is a level one Dreadlord? Not very much good. So a strong creeping mission around another goldmine goes underway. After clearing that, the undead army agreed to pose for an intimidation shot that I've included here. It's a little cooler if you don't know that ghouls are weaklings.

Vash has been all but idle and is enjoying scampering up toward site D with his new Mountain King Gar Doomforge, I'm not sure if he wanted an archmage and got confused with the beards again, when he sees some interesting brutes along the way...

Unfortunately, they saw him too...

The battle isn't that scary and Vash is able to destroy the creeps and level up both his heros. His Paladin is now level four and his Mountain King is level two. Despite these gains he had a thing or two to say...

Despite the victory, Vash is discouraged by the ogre encounter on his way to D and turns back toward the middle, deciding that he might as well creep nearer his home base as well. Which, I might add, has begun production on a third Arcane Sanctum.

Epic, on the other hand, hasn't scouted outside of his own hunting party and is unknowingly nearing Vash's base. With a dreaded Necromancer added to his forces he decides to hurt some Gnolls. It would be the last creeps the hunting party would devour...

Vash would have winced if he could have seen the results of the final Creeping. The Death Knightended up at level four and the Dreadlord gained a third level...

It's important to realize just how close Epic was to Vash's base and why Vash was likely a little surprised to see him as he made his way out, presumably, to kill the very Gnolls that Epic had just vanquished. As you can see, the proximity is alarming!

Like all good things in battle, the initial meeting of two enemies is filled with excitement, fear, loathing and blood. It seems Epic may have had a little too much of the first three... His forces race out to meet Vash's...

Did I say forces? I'm sorry. It seems in his excitement, fear, and loathing, Epic somehow forgot to order his army to attack. Instead of a strong force of Ghouls to meet the Footmen and their heroic leaders, the two Undead heros alone faced down the menacing Humans...

Like a good commander, Vash orders his entire army to focus fire on a single hero, the Death Knight first, while letting the rest of Epic's army beat on them. Most of the time this results in the death of a few units but also ends the life of one of the enemy's heros. The focus firing, compounded with the fact that the Ghouls and the Necromancers stayed in the clearing away from combat caused Epic to lose both heros in record time. At least the Necromancers were set to rally on the Undead heroes and arrived in time to see them die. But since they were not in attack move, they refused to do any harm, and so did little damage.

The Death Knight fell before the large hammer of Sage the Paladin, and the rest of the footmen turned to kill the Dreadlord, who seemed flabergasted that he was left alone with a Death Knight to face down all the forces Vash had to offer...

Epic catches on at this point that none of Vash's footmen have died and something may be wrong with the battle. Indeed, he discovers the missing Ghouls and orders them to focus on the wimpy Paladin. Oh, little do they realize how late it is...

The Dreadlord drops in mere moments and the full wrath of a Holy Avenger and his Dwarven sidekick, along with a small army of Footmen and Priests is turned loose on the Ghouls and their Skeletal Friends.

It's not a pretty picture and the footmen are able to rip through the Ghouls all the while being healed by the Paladin and generally staying clear of the gruff Mountain King who is both chopping and smashing. When all is said and done the Mountain King learned a lot about killing Undead and leveled up to his third tier of knowledge...

And Epic began ressurecting his fallen warriors...

The game would have ended then if only Vash had pressed onward and smashed the Undead base to smitherens. But instead he felt that Victory was best savoured with ale and women. So his hunting party did not continue on to Epic's main OR the recent expansion that was already almost totally fortified.

Instead, the Paladin decided to find and slaughter more Trolls with the help of a new found ally in the war on the Undead. The Archmage Aran Spellweaver joined the ranks as lead expert in all things Arcane.

Now the gears in Vash's brain have slowly clicked into place and he realizes he is very strong and wiped out Epic's forces a few minutes ago. Now would be a wonderful time to attack. Epic had finished recovering his Death Knight and Dreadlord very quickly and restocked his forces from his Temple and Crypts faster than Vash would ever dream.

Epic was quite outside his base as Vash neared with destruction on his mind...

Epic, in fact, engages a few Trolls guarding a Goblin Workshop as the first notices of an attack on his main base reach him. In a clever bit of irony, Epic's complete loss of his heros to Vash earlier in the course of events leaves him with two Scrolls of Town Portal availible to bring his army home just in time to meet the Deadly Trio and their army of Priests, with a few Footmen, of course.

The cruel fates do not smile on Vash this time...

And he does very little damage to anything...

The Paladin mutters a quick Prayer and is suddenly protected by the Hand of Divinity and is untouchable. Unfortunately, the Footmen, Priests, Archmage, and even his sidekick the Mountain King, don't have said protection and fall to focused fire from a skilled Undead commander.

His fifteen seconds of fame Divine Shield wear off and he makes like lightning and bolts.

Epic and Vash exchanged some words after that...

Vash makes a clean break with his Paladin, and has two interesting things of note. The first is he is producing knights...

And the second is a dangerously low Goldmine... and no expand!

Epic, not realizing his own vulnerability after losing an entire army would extend to Vash as well decides to continue creeping the Trolls near the island expand to the north west. Again, if he had pushed on to Vash's main base, the game would be over... again! But instead Epic decides he needs larger than life forces, and summons some slaughter houses.

While Epic resumes creeping Trolls, Vash addresses teh problem of pesky Undead Spirit Towers. A workshop is produced and instead of sitting idly by, it produces a few very dangerous units. The only unit in the world that does siege damage yet has fortified armor! Yes... the wonderful SiegeSteam Tank!

Epic easilly dispatches the Trolls and decides he wants another base. So it's a quick trip in a Zepplin for our adventerous heros...

And they will be facing off against some lovely Golems and Dragons, which isn't too risky as long as he takes along some Necromancers. I won't lead you on, he did take Necromancers with him. And let's face it, at this point in the game, Creeps just don't have their heart in the fight.

Vash sends his new hunting party back to the middle of the map. And this time is taking his job seriously. He finds the Fountain of Health defended by Ogres and Trolls and proceeds to lay waste unto them with panty-clad Sorceresses and their buff and tough partners in crime, the Priests.

As this all goes down, Vash produces his first Abomination, and as you can see... he used the Graveyard for more than a few Spirit Towers...

The gold situation back at Vash's base has turned into a real problem and Vash quickly finds a nearby goldmine in the middle that is ripe for a base. Bringing a Peasant in behind his main forces, he smacks around the defending Gnolls. The battle is one sided as the spellcasters rip apart the poor dog-men, and Vash's Paladin reaches his fifth level of experience.

Epic ventures toward the middle with his hunting party...

Sees the middle has been recently creeped, and heads to the west, to find an uncreeped mine and lay waste to THOSE Gnolls. So we have two armies, dancing around very near to each other, yet totally oblivious to the fact that they're near one another.

Epic moves north... Vash moves west... and Vash's Paladin notes that the Gnolls have died of food poisoning that just happens to smell like the stench of an Abomination's stinking cloud... The Mountain King doesn't like this one bit and heads the other way, but is eventually charmed back by the wily Sorceroress.

With a new base, and now four Steam Tanks...

...Vash felt confident it was time to take on Epic again. With his full Hunting party now escorting the tanks he moves through the middle and discovers A lone Necromancer wandering to meet up with Epic's hunting party far to the south. Vash's surprise may be blown, but Epic's concern is real!

Further westward the ground turns icky, and Vash's Paladin Sage Truthbearer shouts out in surprise. It's Epic's expansion! The same expansion he's had since the very first encounter the two players had! The Steam Tank drivers lick their lips and step on the accelarator, hungry for desctruction...

Epic burns another Town Portal Scroll to get to his main, which is a stone throws away from his expansion. Unfortunately when you die, you lose a lot of motor control and so his forces aren't the fastest in their ride to the rescue...

But when they arrive, they are quite angry at the destruction being raught on their expansion base. They lay into the sorcoresses and priests, happily tearing their flesh...

Vash's position isn't the best and his heros are still stomping life out of the Acolytes spiriting gold out of the mine, but when he realizes that Epic has arrived, he races back into battle to stop them...

Even with his Tanks destroying Epic's expansion, Vash is in a bind. He's outnumbered and has only two knights against three abominations and several Ghouls...

But all is not lost and with skill and zeal the Knights and the Paladin, at the cost of several Priests and the Mountain King, slay the Dread Lord...

Epic's Undead simply refuse to stand for such a wicked attack on their demonic hero and lay into the remaining knights while the Paladin stays alive by virtue of his Divine Shield. Like all good things, the shield runs out at an inopportune moment and the Paladin runs like a little girl... But the Steam Tanks are racing to Epic's main!

Brushing off the menacing shouts and screams of the Undead around them, the Steam Tanks pound the evil Slaughterhouses repeatedly...

At the exact same moment, Sage Truthbearer realizes he's only being followed by a single Ghoul and decides to smash it...

The Tanks continued their rampage but the poor dwarves inside knew their time in life was coming to a rather untimely end...

And despite their best effords, the second of the two Slaughter Houses remains standing... just barely...

Perhaps Vash was in shock over the resiliance of the last Slaughter House, or perhaps he simply did not know what he could build next, since he had so many choices. But he simply sat in his Castle and consulted with his Peasants for a few moments...

Then he saw what followed his Paladin home...

A Call to Arms rallyed the peasants to the goal of wiping out Undead from the planet. But it would be too little... much too little...

Sage Truthsayer fought valiantly to the last breath. Surrounded... he smashed and bashed more Undead than he thought existed in the world. But in the end, even his Divine Protection vanished... and the last we see is his valiant stand outside his castle... Even his Mountain King sidekick was no match for the evil Undead Scourge.

Epic's Undead army destroyed Vash's entire base and all occupants. Not a soul was left unclaimed by the wicked Death Knight and his leader, EpicEpoch!

The End Results

Using a complicated mathematical formula I have perfected, I presented what I feel are incredible statistics for such a battle of two great warriors...

Lessons For the Wise

1. Early scouting is good... but not acting on that early scouting is bad.
2. Minimize your losses with micromanaging, and Town Portalling.
3. 500 gold for an Archmage might be better spent on one and two thirds of a Knight...
4. If you have just wiped out an entire army and both heros, and know where the enemy is, attacking their base might be a good idea!
5. Running back to your base after you lost your army and the enemy is following you is not always the best plan.
6. Town Portal is your friend. Use it for more than just saving your life. Use it to save your base! Or your expansion! But use it!

Last Word

Good Game to both players who were gracious enough to allow me to watch and report on a game. Apologies if the game wasn't spectacular, but I've been eager to write a report for a long while, especially in Warcraft 3. My old Starcraft reports no longer have working graphics, but this time around, all will be well.

I plan to report as much as I can. Which hopefully will be a lot. So if you see me online in "clan ~nohunters" and think you and an opponent would be a worthy match to report, drop me a line, and I'll be glad to observe.

I hope you enjoyed reading it, and any constructive criticism you might have is appreciated, but I might not listen to it. ;)

This has been a
Duinlas Report