"got minerals?"
-YourRoleModel
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| Jews vs Natzi's | | | Author: | | | IP: | modemcabXXXX | | Date: | 12/23/02 05:12 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 4, Min: 4
Lifetime Rating for uS]JabbyJabby[O: 4.0000 |  | Natzi vs Jew
Captain_flea uS]JabbyJabby[O
Welcome to my first ever Battle Report! It was a late Christmas Eve night and I was soooooo bored and anxiouse that i couldn't fall asleep. So I decided to kick some packy ass. I made a game called 1v1 packies only. To my unhappiness a stupid natzi joined and said he was packy.(he told me he was russian later on in the game.)Considering i was Jewish and he was a Natzi i thought this could turn out to be good br!!So if u like blood, rated R movies and lots of action plz keep reading, but I warn u this was no 2 min. game, as a matter of fact the bloody war raged for almost 1 full hour!So sit back grab some chips and listen up!!
Captain_Flea started off at 12:00 Blue as Terran. I ( uS]JabbyJabby[O) Started of at 6:00 as Orange Protoss. I started off with normal build, 8 probes pylon probe gateway ect. Captain_flea started with a very strange build a refinery 2 supply depot (not at ramp) and a barracks. I try to take out his barracks with 3 zeals but due to poor micro by me he slowly kills my 1 at a time sent z's with a bunker marines and scv's.
After the battle he gave a stupid remark, "Die stupid Packy" this pissed me off and I began to boil .... sure I'm not packy but still that is an insault. I started warping a cybernetics core and another gateway. Meanwhile at Captain_flea's base he got his first tank in siege mode. Now at his ramp he had 2 marines 2 bunkers and 1 siege tank.After a minute I had my first goon. By now i have 7 z's ready to fight for there Jewish country. I sent seven z's running by the two bunkers and tanks. Non died. I killed about 3 scv's until he finished me off with 9 medics and 5 firebats :(
For some very strange reason Captain_flea builds a shit load of turrets....... poor crazy natzi....... poor crazy natzi.
Captain_flea is now upgraded 1/1 with his men. And I now have quite a sizable army with templars that have storm. By now I have expanded at my natural and at the mineral field infront. Captain_flea has expanded at his natural and at 2:00 natural.Captain_flea tries to rape my scv line with 2 med and 4 bats but is disapointed when he meets a couple of z's.
By now I had 7 gateways and i was rdy to get revenge. i rallied my men in the middle and prepared to attack. I sent my first wave Jews. 8 z's. This foolish act was a distraction for my storm. I took out 6 tanks and there were only 4 more at his base. I sent my 6 goons but unfortunately they were destroid by the stron russian defence.
I began to warp 2 archon with my remaining temps. Now lets get an idea of what's going on in the enemies bases. At this point Captain_flea has 2 factories 3 starport and 2 barracks (not bad) and 2 expos and he is also still getting high of turrets(Paranoia). And I have 8 gateways ;) I've teched all the way to templars scrabs and drop and 2 expo.
With half of captain_flea's army dead i thought it would be ez to finish him off.... but I was sadly mistaken. I sent 2 arch 9 zealots 2 temps and 2 goons unfortunately I didn't quite get what I was hoping for..... in other words MY MEN WERE BRUITELY DESTROYED!!!(now he's really gonna pay)
Hmmm..... another interesting move..... Captain_flea gets a shitload of Ghosts and continues pumping wraiths and tanks.Meanwhile I get 15 zealots and 1 goon. We both keep pumping madly and we beging to upgrade.I expand to the nine catural and expand infront of it too. I send 11 zealots and 11 goons to do some damage but they r destroyed by tanks. And after my attempted storms were well.... not dont because of shitty micro(my temps were killed 1 by 1 T.T)
Later on I get 30 zealots and charge for Captain_flea's natural expo although I do kill a refinery and 4 scvs I am not quite satisfied.
Alright boys and girls lets see how our star players r doing. I now have 4 expo ( 1 at my natural 1 at 9:00 natural and 2 at mineral fields) I am now have 5 starports 9 gateways and I'm pumping carriers and zealots. My upgrades r 0-3-0. Captain_Map_hacker is now pumping valkries from 3 starports and have 2 fact 2 barracks and still 2 expos.
A few minutes later he drops a ghost and nukes 2 pylon a forge and a gateway :(
I sent 6 Carriers and a shitload of zealots but they were fended off by (What a hacker!!!!!) about 10 valkrie and 8 tanks.
Captain_flea sends all his tanks to attack but they are caught off guard unsieged in the middle of the map buy about 20 zealots and r destoyed. I destroy Captain_flea's 2:00 natural expansion (where all his minerals were coming from) and he is forced to leave due to low minerals low army and high gayness.
So what have we learned today?
-Natzi's will never be half as talented as jews.
-U shouldn't wait half an hour to attack with tanks.
-U should get better d at your expansions
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
-U never F.U.C.K. with a jew :)
(by the way I celebrate Christmas because half my family is Christian)
I would like to thank uS]Sling-Shot[O for helping me take notes of the battle :) thank u very much and this has been.....
A GOSU REPORT!
To all a good Christmas and to all a good night (Or day wtvr)
(Sorry there are no pics i got a shit load but i don't know how to put them on stupid br)
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