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chapter one: The Adrian finally wins
Welcome to airpalne_steel's fanfic! hurray! here we go:
One day Adrian the marine was on a mission. He was going for the
overmind! Adrian was on his way to the overmind on tarsonis, wherer
he met a huge zerglings called "scar"! He restled the zling and it
died. Then he shot the overmind. Huge clumps of meat fell off the
overmind and landed everywhere. wow! bleh bleh.
Adrian saw a hydralisk behind him. He shot off the hidralisk's arms
and wrestled it. He almost killed it! a spine went thru his hart. THe
acids almost killed himz! wow! So then he died and everyone was sad.
His parents were sad. It was horrible! the end.
Spoof of 20/20
20/20 lady: Today we are going to interview a very special person.
His name is Airplane_steel. What is so astonishing about him, is that
he out-gays carriers, purple protoss, photon-bitches, and
wall-in-and-mass-battlecruiser people. He is so gay, that he almost reaches
T_mac's level. Its astonishing.
Airplane_steel: Yo wassup my dowgz, hey TC hey u all. Yo, I bet I could
beat you in wrestling, har har.
20/20 lady: Would you like a mint? (She hands airplane_steel a mint,
and he swallows it.)
Airplane_steel: so what u wants
20/20 lady: We would like to know how you grew up to be so... gay.
Please tell us.
Airplane_steel: well it begun like this: (that blurry sound and
the screen blurs back to a memory). I used to be called
Samson. I walked around in this field of flowers. My mom and dad were
both men. When I got to 5th grade, my teacher taught us sex education.
I asked my parents why they both have you-know-what. (airplane giggles).
They said, "well son, we are different. There's nothing wrong with that.
Airplane ran away from home when he was a teenager. He used to
be a little bit smart. One night he fell asleep on a road, and a
nice big truck ran over his head. He suffered serious brain damage.
He went to New York where he took up wrestling. He wrestled because he
liked to get up and close to other men like himself. He kept
grabbing people's you-know-what (airplane giggles) and he was booted off
the team.
He stole someone's computer with wireless internet. He also stole a
copy of Starcraft. A few police officers shot him, but he used
his psionic gay powers to block the bullets, and gayed the police
officers to death. He played battle.net with Starcraft and learned the
gay ways of Starcraft. He BSed, played ums sex games, made only
carriers, mass photon, and hack. A serious idiot told him about
battlereports.com. He went there, and wrote a story about him playing
a computer. A few days later, he went to the 20/20 building.
(the blurry sound brings you back to reality).
20/20 lady: Thank you for sharing. Everyone who is watching this
will enjoy watching you die now.
Airplane_steel: WTF U NOOB IM NOT DEAD.
20/20 lady: you know that mint I gave you? The white stuff was
anthrax and the red stuff was dyed snake venom/spider venom/rat turds.
Airplane_steel: you outsmarted me this time but i'll get you next time
Cameraman: There is no next time u dumbass
20/20 lady: Guinness just recorded that to put on the latest book.
World record of gayest man alive. (airplane_steel starts getting
sick and dies). Next, the boy who killed at age 12. Should he get a
grown man's penalty? Find out next time, on 20/20.
Sabotage's retarded humor is over. Now for the stuff you came for.
Report #5 - March 12, 2003
Intro
Sorry if you don't like my humor. I just hate airplane.
Ok, i have a few things to say before we begin. First,
I dedicate this to ~Cattlebruiser for the guide and Zerg~ling for
the mean
comments. Also I want to introduce those two friends I was talking
about in my last report. Lurkerburger7 and the-nut are my friends.
I saw the-nut has posted before and all i can say is :p.
Lost temple.
The kickass lost temple again. Friday night I believe, I was
at the channel. Gimpler, Wr@th and stillphy and I
had just went through a
game. Everyone was zerg except for me and Wr@th, terrans. Stillphy
6pooled me. I have no idea why but my wall failed me and the zerglings
went right through. So I lift-offed to the corner. Stillphy and
gimpler had a zerg air battle, then Wr@th owned both of them with goliaths.
Stillphy wanted ally but Wr@th just killed him.
As you see, I was pissed off. Wr@th left us, and blue_hurricane came in.
We joined gimp1//1 made by gimpler. We entered the game...
Gimpler chooses
orange zerg at the north base.
Sabotage randoms
teal terran at the south base. Stillphy_chi
chose purple terran at the west base.
Last but not least, Blue_hurricane randomed yellow terran at the east base.
Sabotage and
Gimpler are allied.
They are opposing Stillphy_chi
and
Blue_hurricane.
So the game starts.
Gimpler, being the
only zerg, speedily 6-pools. All three terrans are walling.
Stillphy_chi
had a different wall than the standard
double supply+1 barracks. He had a bunker behind supply depots and
barracks. The bunkers were quickly erected. The problem with this
strategy is that you have to stop making SCVs at around 6 supply,
which is unacceptable for future expenses.
The 6-pool zerglings are out.
Gimpler sends them
to 9:00 hastily, but retreats at the sight of bunkers.
Gimpler's zerglings
dash to
Blue_hurricane's wall. He finds the terrans bunkerless. The
zerglings infiltrate the wall. A few reinforcements arrive. fresh from the
hatchery.
Gimpler is amazed
at what he saw. Two factories!
The zerglings viciously attack the terran factories, causing one
to burn.
Stillphy_chi
sends one measly marine to help his ally in
his time of despair. The marine does nothing but damage one zergling.
The factories were both making vultures. They were almost done, and
Six zerglings were present. Three SCVs come to repair the
factory that is burning. The vultures suddenly pop out. The zerglings
abandon the factories and hurl themselves at the vultures.
The vultures do some micro, and the zerglings are dead. The base was
okay! Good job
Blue_hurricane.
In 2v2, it is very common that one person distracts the other team while that
person's teammate techs. Well, it happened here.
Sabotage
had two
factories with
machine shops. One was producing a siege tank, machine shop
researching siege. The second factory was making 2 vultures. On top
of that,
Sabotage also had a
starport with an unfinished control tower. His plane was
known to
Stillphy_chi
, first because he scanned, and second, the
strategy beats him like a foot to a soda can.
Stillphy_chi
is having a busy time repairing his SCVs,
and just started an engineering bay for
Sabotage's plan. He
was moving at a turtle pace, and he knew he was in danger.
A teal dropship hovers over to
Stillphy_chi
's SCV line. Two teal vultures and a siege
tank come rolling out of the dropship. The vultures sabotage the
scv line, while the siege tank picks off oncoming marines. The SCVs
run for it. About 10 SCVs got away. The vultures plant their
spidermines around the minerals, in case
Stillphy_chi
stops the attack.
Another teal dropship brings more food to the table. 2 new siege tanks,
and then 2 marines come to the base. At this point, the buildings fly
away. They move to the natural and the mineral-only expansion.
Stillphy_chi
begins mining again.
The teal siege tanks are destroying the wall near the 9:00 ramp.
More vultures come in. Spidermines are placed in front of the siege
tanks. This was really funny:
Stillphy_chi
stims 8 marines and runs at the siege tanks
to try to take them out, but he dies from all the mines. He curses.
Blue_hurricane pushes back with 5 siege tanks below the ramp.
Sabotage doesn't
wish to lose any more tanks, and stops where he is. He drops a command
center at the western base and starts another at his natural.
We didn't hear about
Gimpler in a while,
what had he been up to? He was racking up his number of hydralisk. He
loads them into fully upgraded overlords and readies for some hydra
dropping.
A quick scan by
Sabotage reveals
an expansion attempt by
Stillphy_chi
.
Gimpler puts a
abrupt end to this, and the island is wiped clean.
Sabotage has
been creating nonstop goliaths. A few dropships load up the
goliaths, and dropships drop all over
Stillphy_chi
's buildings.
Stillphy_chi
had perched tanks on the cliffs. The siege
tanks got free potshots on the goliaths. The 4 siege tanks blew up
about 16 goliaths! The buildings were on fire again, and
Stillphy_chi
had to once again rebuild.
The other drop was more successful.
Gimpler unleashed
hydralisk hell on
Blue_hurricane. He dropped so many hydralisk on the terran
base, that the siege tanks just got wiped away with the tide of
the swarm.
Blue_hurricane had a turret field in the middle, and unfortunately,
for
Sabotage, he lost
7 dropships full of goliaths. This really pissed him off. Anyway,
Blue_hurricane was gone.
Sabotage had more
goliaths and siege tanks up in no time. He goes to the top of
the 9:00 ramp, sieges the two tanks, and blasts the hell out of the
buildings.
Stillphy_chi
sends a stream of marines to the
intruders but goliaths mow them down.
Stillphy_chi
kills some goliath with tanks from the
cliff of the natural. His base is being ruined.
Even more goodness,
Gimpler
swarms the base with hydralisk. The base is reduced to rubble, but
there is a siege/missile defense around the cliff above the natural.
Stillphy_chi
circles the place with turrets and tanks,
and thinks he is invincible.
Another good move by
Gimpler. He
researches guardians and bombards the base. The scourge got
every single building except for the engineering bay.
Stillphy_chi
keeps asking for an ally.
Sabotage is
taking no sides, and
Gimpler is
against it. With one last scourge, he leaves the engineering bay
burning.
Stillphy_chi
starts cursing and calling us "retarded" and
asking me to BS. Hell no. Well, maybe if
Gimpler was nicer.
goes to
Stillphy_chi
mostly for the zerglings.
is a tie between
Sabotage and
Gimpler.
Sabotage had more gas, gimpler had more minerals.
goes to
Gimpler! (guardians)
is a new reward named after jimmy/notjimmy. It is the best player
in the last 5 official Sabotage reports. On Sabotage report number
1-5, the best player is: (drum roll) Nal_raar!!!
NAL_RAAR (Mick) RECIEVES THE JIMMY AWARD FOR SABOTAGE: 1-5
Surprised? It wasn't a hard decision. Outside my reports, he owns me
every time i challenge him. Gj nal_raar, you got a jimmy. (heh sounds
like grammy)
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