The Best Offense Is A Good Defense

Me - Blue Terran - Top Left I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya - Red Protoss - Mid Right CompstompzForeva - Green Zerg - Bottom Right KingBrim451 - Yellow Terran - Bottom Middle Grendel Brood - Brown Zerg - Top Right

I started a standard T vs Z build, consisting of mass marines/medics, tanks, and Science vessels. The opening builds of my allies were much more interesting. I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya elected to perform the brilliant strategy of going straight to cannons, blocking up the choke leading to the computer's natural. CompstompzForeva went for the unstoppable 4 pool, but after I told him that there was no rush for 15 minutes, he seemed disheartened and did not hatch any more zerglings; he instead concentrated on fortifying his main with mass sunkens. Well, as they say, the best offense is an excellent defense. KingBrim451 went barracks, academy, supply depot, and double engineering bay in what appeared to be a quick tech to... something.

I teched up to tanks while continuing to make marines/medics. I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya's base still had only one pylon and forge, but I didn't question his strategy, as his cannons were doing an effective job of containing the computer, repelling three attacks so far. He seemed pretty proud. CompstompzForeva's base consisted of 7 drones mining, half a dozen zerglings still from his original 4 pool, and around 8 sunkens, providing for a seemingly unbreakable defense complex. KingBrim451 finally revealed the purpose of his very fast tech, researching Optic Flare in his academy while going for vultures. He must have learned from the pros, as he lifted both of his engineering bays and floated them over to the computer's natural just in front of I-WilLL-SmAcK-Ya's cannons, providing for an effective wall-in. I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya expressed his astonishment at such an ingenious strategy.

By now I had teched up to science vessels and had researched Irradicate. My forces were now three control groups of marines/medics, a dozen tanks, and a few science vessels with Irradicate. I announced that it was finally time to attack the computer, and proceeded on to the computer's base. The computer had now been weakened after an all out attack to break I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya's cannon blockade failed, and my Terran force ripped through its base with ease. CompstompzForeva provided very helpful assistance with his enormous contingent of 6 zerglings, still from his original 4 pool. KingBrim451 sent a dozen vultures and 24 medics with optic flare to help me annihilate the computer as well, and did a great job of healing my troops and optic flaring all of the computer's overlords. Within a minute the computer was eliminated, and a round of "gg"s was exchanged.

However, something was not right. The game did not end; apparently someone was backstabbing! I pulled my forces back to my base, ready for the backstabbing bastard(s) to reveal himself/themselves. For some strange reason, all my three allies pointed fingers toward me, accusing me as being the backstabber. I retorted that this thought was preposterous, and that I wanted my hard-earned win now. My allies did not seem to buy into this reasonable logic, and they all unallied and attacked me! And to add insult to injury, they all left on shared vision with me, which meant two possiblities: either they were stupid and forgot to take shared vision off, or they must have meant they were so confident they would be victorious. The latter possibility was obviously the correct one; everyone knows that compstompers are on the far right side of the intellectual spectrum.

I wasn't about to go down without a fight, though, and was ready with my troops, which were now maxed out at 200 supply. Scans revealed to my horror that CompstompzForeva's crippling force of 6 zerglings had nearly doubled to 10, and were headed in my direction! KingBrim451 hurled at me his unique force of 16 vultures and 36 medics with optic flare as well. I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya had produced zealots during the time when we were arguing who the backstabber was, and flung his deadly force of 8 zealots toward my main. Sweat dripping down my chin, I nervously sieged my tanks at my choke, hurriedly built bunkers in which my marines/medics went into, and summoned SCVs for any needed repair work.

Then the dreaded attack came. I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya's zealots were the first to arrive, as his base was the closest to mine in proximity. However, with me having more than double the amount of siege tanks, the 8 zealots were vaporized before they could even inflict a single hit point of damage as they crossed into our shared natural. Next came CompstompzForeva's 10 zerglings, which raced to my base in single file and got blasted and died honorably to siege tank fire in about 2 seconds. My last worry was KingBrim451's force of vultures and medics. They came right after the zerglings. The vultures were quickly blasted to oblivion by my siege tanks; for some strange reason KingBrim451 never researched spider mines. But the real threat was the medics. KingBrim451 demonstrated excellent micromanagement, succeeding in optic flaring more than half of my SCVs as they frantically moved around trying to avoid enemy fire. A few Irradicates by my science vessels finally ended the threat and left the medics in dead piles of blood.

I let out a huge sigh of relief as I had unbelievably just repelled the infamous attack. However, I knew that if I did not act fast, another, even more terrible attack would soon follow. It was now time to teach these backstabbing assholes a lesson. I moved my marine/medic/tank force into I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya's main, which was completely unguarded. I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya made a critical strategic error, as he continued to fortify his cannon blockade to the top right of where the computer used to be, instead of defending his main. I quickly took advantage of this crucial mistake, and leveled his “main,” which consisted of exactly a nexus, pylon, and forge, in seconds. I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya desperately tried to warp in new cannons in his main, but he was too late and was forced to evacuate his probes, which all got massacred with the exception of one, which built a Nexus at the top right main.

I now turned my attention to KingBrim451. KingBrim451 had only rebuilt about half of his former glorious vulture/medic force, and I exploited his slow recovery by shoving 48 marines and medics and 24 tanks down his throat. His base was in ruins before you could say "I'm the backstabber" and he desperately lifted his 2 barracks and 3 factories to float toward the safety of I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya's new main. However, my marines disagreed and all 5 buildings were destroyed before reaching their destination. I could have easily destroyed KingBrim451's last burning supply depot, but I wanted to teach the backstabber a real lesson and allied him for the moment in order for him to view me hopefully disposing of his two fellow backstabbers.

After taking a few scans of CompstompzForeva's base, I recoiled in shock. About 20 sunkens covered the path from his natural to his main, and this left me in a predicament. But then it hit me: siege tanks have a farther attack range than sunkens! With this cheerful statistic in mind, I sieged up and started laying into the sunken colonies with impunity. CompstompzForeva had apparently thought that sunkens alone would suffice, as he made absolutely no zerglings, or units for that matter, but I proved him wrong. After a while (a long while), all of CompstompzForeva's sunkens were destroyed but I left him one remaining spawning pool in order for him to view me hopefully destroying the remaining backstabber, I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya.

The Protoss expert had been frantically rebuilding in his new main, which for him was not rebuilding in the traditional sense but instead increasing his blockade of endless cannons. I began to have the familiar knots-in-stomach feeling that I had after viewing CompstompzForeva's sunken complex, but fortunately after quickly browsing through Bart Farka's godly Starcraft guide, I discovered to my amazement that siege tanks also had a higher range than cannons! This thrilled me and I sieged up, giggling like a school girl, as my tanks bombarded I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya's cannons without them firing back. At this point I began to get impatient and after remembering viewing a replay of some guy called Boxer playing extraordinary Terran using dropships, I decided to copy this technique. I loaded up four dropships of marines and medics and dropped the payload right into the heart of I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya's main, which consisted of two gateways, and a nexus with 9 probes mining, and the rest surrounded by a seemingly endless network of cannons. The stimmed marines being healed by the medics did their job though, as they destroyed the gateways, nexus, and all the probes. They then went to work on the cannons, while my tanks continued to bombard them from safety. At this point I-WiLL-SmAcK-Ya waved the white flag, but instead of leaving the game, he did just as I would expect a backstabber to do: he disconnected, leaving with a rather disrespectful "fuck you bser." I started laughing out loud; what a hypocrite!

This left CompstompzForeva and KingBrim451 as my remaining former allies now turned enemies. Each of them had one unusable structure, which I left to let them think about their sins. I inquired why they would backstab, and they responded with the ridiculous "Your units outnumbered ours by so much" routine. I was trying my best to be merciful and was planning to ally the two if they admitted that they backstabbed and would never do it again, but they apparently did not have the dignity to do so, and instead insulted me using all kinds of obscenities that I do not wish to repeat in this report. After enduring this verbal abuse I just snapped. I promptly unallied the two and wasted each of their remaining buildings, eliminating them and thus declaring me as the sole winner of this brutal game.

In conclusion, I am perplexed to why compstomps are backstabbed so often. The individuals who invaded my game were obviously not one of my compstomper brethren, but instead idiot backstabbers who thought it would be fun to ruin my gaming experience. In what had just transpired, I was simply trying to get easy wins to boost my 1051-34-15 record. I do not see any harm in doing this, yet some people of the Starcraft community are immature enough to interfere with compstompers' enjoyment of the game. We compstompers do not interfere with their gaming experience; why should they interfere with ours? That game was the 526th time that someone had attempted to backstab me, and quite frankly, I am just getting sick of it. That game was the last straw and I was so enraged that I wrote a formal letter to Blizzard Entertainment complaining of this constant abuse. I sent the letter six months ago and am still awaiting word. But considering how much Blizzard delays the release of its games, I'm not surprised. For anyone who thinks I am a newbie just because I play compstomps, I will gladly challenge you to a 1 vs 1 anytime, but only on a money map.