"Battlereports are a good way to determine your worth as a human being"
-YourRoleModel
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| Satan Wing Ep 1 | | | Author: | | | IP: | c-67-167XXXX | | Date: | 01/19/05 02:01 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 5, Min: 5
Lifetime Rating for Testicleus: 5.0000 |  | With high expectations, human beings leave earth, and begin a new life
in space colonies. However, the United Christian Alliance gains great
military power on earth, and soon seizes great control over one space
colony after another, in the name of Jesus, and peace. Using gigantic
mechs known as Jesus Suits, these walking robotic humanoid terrors
brought the colonies to their knees. The year is After Colony 666.
Operation "Never Obey A Hierarchy", or NOAH, in a move to combat the
Christian's tyranny, rebel citizens of the colonies scheme to bring new
arsenals to the earth disguising them as a shooting star. However, the
Christian headquarters soon catches on to this operation....
Episode I- NOAH
"Moving object confirmed at LaGrange point CC, moving to AR position. Estimated arrival to earth- 200 seconds."
"Lieutenant Abraham is in the atmosphere on his OB cruiser. Let him know what we found."
Lieutenant Abraham read a report on insurgents in the Middle East while he listened to what Alliance Intelligence picked up.
"Some things never change", he thought to himself.
Abraham
was by inclination a private man, nearing 30 now, with long white blond
hair and a distinctive white mask that covered half his face. He is one
of the leaders of OB, or the Order of Baptists, a selective
organization in charge of the conversion of unbelievers and atheists to
Christianity. However, he is also given free reign over military
affairs by the Alliance.
"Lieutenant Abraham, surveillance is reporting a meteorite."
"Figures.
The satellite surveillance team may as well be blind. Do they really
think that a meteorite would ride a wave course to enter the Earth's
atmosphere? It's just like OB headquarters told us. It's Operation
NOAH. There's no doubt. How many of them are there?"
"Scanning...Just one, the one heading for Eastern Eurasia."
"One
will do just fine. Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and
brimstone, and a horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their
cup. Psalm 11. 6 "
"That's quite the bold statement sir."
"I told you, I am a true soldier of God..."
The
sun was rising and cast a brilliant light on the earth. Inside the NOAH
pod, the pilot was just waking up. He could not have been more than 14
years old.
"All areas functioning. We'll commence operations in seven minutes. Hmm? What's this? A civilian shuttle?"
Indeed,
there was a third craft on that fateful morning: the civilian shuttle,
in the shape of a giant cross, carrying Grand Ambassador Rose back to
Earth after peace negotiations with the colonies. Engineers felt that a
giant cross would not be very aerodynamic, but damned if the Alliance
was going to sacrifice religion for efficiency. The engineers were
promptly executed.
"Mr. Rose, the shuttle will soon enter the atmosphere. Please be sure to fasten your seatbelt, and remain seated."
"Yes,
thank you very much." It was a long month for the Rose family. "What's
the matter Eve? Aren't you happy to be back to the Earth?"
"No! Not one bit," said his spoiled brat.
"I'm
sorry that I haven't been able to spend that much time with you. It's
just that my work keeps getting in the way. I promise I'll make it up."
"Father, next time we go into space, how bout making yourself a bit of...huh? What is that?"
The pod was almost out of fuel and was heading straight for the civilian shuttle.
"Approximate
speed target 04555. Engaging auto-lock. Ready to shoot down the
obstacle." Warning! Warning! "Huh? An earth assault carrier?"
"We've caught up with the object. I'll bring it up on screen, Lieutenant."
"Just
as I thought. So that's their little battle seed. Already to sprout
up...into...new...battles. Yeah. Anyways, he needs to reduce speed,
there's a civilian shuttle up ahead."
"Isn't there a chance that he will shoot down the shuttle and increase his speed?"
"It's not very likely that he's going to shoot it down, not in front of us at least. He is on a covert mission after all."
The pilot was in deep trouble. "The Alliance is already on to me. Damn it!"
"He's entered the atmosphere. We'll follow. Hold on Lieutenant!"
The pod was glowing bright read from the heat. "Finally," the pilot said to himself "I made it to the earth."
"Sir,
the capsule has apparently changed course! Is the heathen trying to
commit suicide? He must believe that the only way to keep this a secret
is to destroy the evidence."
"Lieutenant, the capsule is increasing speed, he's trying to break away. At this rate, he'll burn up."
"Not necessarily, Private Otto. Obviously, our enemies are very technologically advanced."
The heat on the capsule was too much for it to handle. Bit by bit, it began to break away. However...
"What the hell? Sir, the capsule just blew up! But wait...What? What is this?"
"Give
yourself ten lashes for swearing. And this...this is the enemies new
weapon...a new fighter. He rode upon a cherub, and did fly: yea, he did
fly upon the wings of the wind. Psalm 18. 10"
"We've reached flight altitude. We can proceed to attack. Let's wake him up with our Automatic Bible Cannon!"
"No!
No ABC for him! Shoot him down! We were told that the purpose of NOAH
was to bring the weapon to earth. But its not the weapon; its the
fighter pilot inside. Fire the multi-gospel rocket launcher!"
"Sir, yes sir! Target tracking...Locked on!"
"FIRE!"
The
night sky burst with flames as the cruiser launched 20 flaming titanium
bible missiles at the fighter. They hit nothing but air.
"Idiots.
Do they really think I am that slow?" the pilot thought. "Beep Beep!
Incoming transmission- Mission statement: Destroy Military Jesus Suit
Transport." "That carrier is carrying OB Jesus Suits! Judging by its
speed, there's probably three suits onboard. Roger that mission,
proceeding to shoot down enemy carrier."
"Sir, the fighter has turned around and is heading straight for us!"
"Son of a bitch! Psalm 11.7 Is my Goliath Jesus Suit ready for use?"
"If
you're going after him with a Jesus Suit, then wouldn't the light speed
airborne Virgin Jesus Suit be better than the Goliath land suit?"
"My Goliath is plenty fast enough. Besides, if its a fight he wants, then I should at least give him my best."
"Very well sir, I'll send back up as soon as the Virgins are ready."
"Roger!"
With
that, the Goliath activated its thrusters and left the carrier. Its
arsenal consisted of a huge Devotion Cannon on its right shoulder and a
Shepard's Rod Beam Saber in its left hand
"What the?! He's
above!" He quickly turned around and fired a Holy Word at the heathen,
but he missed, and the fighter came straight at him. Abraham dodged
towards the left and locked on with his cannon. His next shot hit the
fighter dead on.
"Shit! Left-drive system malfunctioning, thruster failure...He's good."
"Excellent shot Lieutenant Abraham!"
"Huh! So much for him! That was far too easy."
"Lieutenant, should we go after him with the Virgins once you return?"
"We'll
catch up with him in the carrier once he hits the ground. It's time we
found out the purpose of Operation NOAH. It's not likely he'll commit
suicide when he's made it... WHAT THE HELL? Appendix"
The pilot of the fighter hit the controls and transformed...
"The fighter just transformed into...A Jesus Suit!"
"Lieutenant, what kind of machine is that?"
"Never
mind! Go after him with the Virgins and shoot him down!" he said. "I
thought only OB had the technology to create Jesus Suits!" he muttered
to himself.
The unidentified Jesus Suit was still in freefall.
It seemed much more radical than the standard suits, with variable
geometry and was made of a distinct unknown alloy. It carried a giant
shield on the left hand while sporting an enormous cannon, bigger than
any weapon OB has ever seen, on the right. The Virgins quickly caught
up with him and fired their bible guns and gospel launchers. Nothing
seemed to even dent it, not even the superheated bibles.
"It moved!" "Never mind, just keep shooting."
The
unknown Jesus Suit looked directly at the two Virgins, and raised its
cannon. "Say hello to my Jesus Crusher Plasma Cannon!" the pilot
screamed. The cannon drew its energy and unleashed a super heated
plasma torrent that instantly disintegrated the two Virgins.
"HehehehahahaAHAHAHAHAHA...one more to go."
Lieutenant Abraham
was still in mid air. "He just blew away two Virgins with just one
shot! Not to shabby." With that, he activated his thrusters and drew
his Shepard's Rod Beam Saber. The Jesus Crusher fired another plasma
shot, but Abraham was too fast. The Goliath dodged, and struck the
Crusher with the saber in midair. The Crusher blocked his attack with
the shield, but then the Goliath used his other hand and grabbed his
head. The two suits were now deadlocked in freefall.
"Gotta go!" Abraham promptly ejected from his Goliath and opened his parachute. The two suits crashed violently into the water.
The carrier floated in the distance. "Lieutenant Abraham, are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine."
"We did a complete data analysis of the unidentified suit. It could only be made of Satanium alloy."
"So,
that was a Satan! Never mind, that Jesus Suit may have been undamaged,
but that reckless pilot wouldn't have survived the fall. The heavens
declare the glory of God; and the firmament showeth his handiwork.
Psalm 19. 1. Send out a search team and recover the remains. We'll see
what are enemies are made of."
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