"Carriers do kinda look like big flying hotdogs."
-Heartcutter
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| The pub bashing chronicles VOL.1 | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 05/14/99 08:05 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | Starcraft(1), Text Only(1) | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 5, Min: 5
Lifetime Rating for -CD-Odin: 6.0000 |  | *note this was played on NORMAL sc to get those kings of newbs the mac newbs*
Map: BGH(needed to draw the newbs fool!)
Odin the mighty pubbie basher
Terran middie leftwise of the mucho fields
TuRbO nEwBiE(name forogotton)of the secret society of pubbies
Zerg Middie righty of the mucho fields of plenty
EARLY GAME:
well finding noone else to go pubbie bashing with i went alone into the scary world of MAC sc players. I was looking for a game when i find 1n1 BITCH HOE! knowing that was a sign from that great monkey above i happily joined. When i come in he says "Well i just got SC but i know im one of da best!" i say "Yeah your probably going to beat me i suck ass 8("(course i was laughing, but sarcasm cant translate with typing can it? ;) Well game starts i find that i get terran which is a plus since A)i get to try n improve and B)dont gotta worry bout lurkers/temps. Well i start out with my build of 8 rax 9 depot 10 rax. i wall in a bunker making impervious to melee range. i send a marine counter clockwise scout, and soonly find my enemy. He has 1 hatch and is making nothing but lings. i think to myself *Man he deserves to be a TuRbO nEwBiE* Well i get a gas up and throw up 2 factorys while still going nuts on marines. i take this time to throw up a academy and a comstat too.
MID GAME:
well after a few comstats i still learn that there is nothing more coming out than those lings so i set my factorys to produce vultures and my rax is making bats/marines at a 1:1 ratio. well we both do this for a while and i decide to expand to my gimmie and seemingly the second the CC is done i hear a cry of "HAHAH SUCKER YOUR DEAD NOW I GOT 100 LINGS!" i cheerfully said "BRING IT ON"
well he did and the following moments is why blizz got its "warning" on animated voilence. There was so much gore and all those lings were cooked down in about 8 seconds. it was a VERY sad sight to behold. I hear a cry of "Map Hacker"
and i again cheerfully reply "How does maphacking make my units beat yours?" and i hear "FUCK YOU"
LATE GAME: well with my exp going non stop i have 3 facs making tanks/gols and 3 rax making mUcHo MaRiNeZ. I take a couple scans at him and finding that he is going nuts on sunkens i figure *tpyical newb*. i throw up a starport preparing for my ultamite move. i scan again and notice that the sunkens are at his choke(he built another hatch there) and he continues to morph more n more. seeing that his back door is emtpy i decide for the UlTaMiTe MoVe. i have 2 dropships and load em full of !@#!@(cant say yet dont wanna spoil the fun) and get round his base he has NO lings and its pathetic. than from the sky my 16 crack troops of doom drop he was rather surprised that i droped his line with 16 SCV'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS THE FUCKING FUNNIEST THING I EVER SAW IN MY LIFE AND I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICUTRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8( the maybe 10 drones mining go down quick from the 16 scvs. and i take down his hatch and all he is left with are his sunkens. Than the tanks come in Yada Yada Yada. he crys maphacker "dont see what this would really do to change the outcome of the game though" and he leaves with a F*CK YOU
Lessons learned:
- SCV DROP IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER
- next on the list is mass hallucinated critter recall
- take pictures of amazing sceens!
*BTW i have pictures i just dont know how to put em up. if you wish to tell me plz e-mail me at Dark_templar83@hotmail.com *
Odin
i dont play to win i play to give other people losses
SHIRT OF THE DAY QUOTE
"Just Doughnut" |
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