For days now, we'd been traveling through the icy snow here in the Winter Conquest battlegrounds

We've never seen anything as treachorus as what was seen here in the last 20 months. We've seen new strains of zerg evolve from the hydralisk, and from the mutalisk. They tend to be found later in battles, when vespene geysers are being mined more effeciently, and when the opponent has a false sense of security, assuming the zerg cerebrate is still in the "Vannila" stages.

The protoss have some how found several new weapons to aid in there aresenal. The only one normally seen is the corsair, which is an amazing fighter unit that can take down several mutalid with little to no trouble at all. The Dark Templar have also begun to aid the protoss more commonly, rather than just in the more important battles, and they do more than kill the overmind now. Dark Archons are probabally the protoss's most powerful unit, being able to strip any unit of it's energy, Steal battlecrusisers, carriers, ultralisks, any unit that they want really, even the strange animals that roam the land, they can even momentarily stop incoming terran infantry, or ANY zerg unit, with ease.

The terrans have come along way. They've re-invented the valkyre, a new type of the never used "Raider" so that they could more easily deal with mass wraiths, scouts, and mutalisks. They can also be very usefull when the zerg has an "abundance" (in your opinion) of overlords just hanging around, void of any hydralisk or spore colony defense. The unit that has made the terran more powerful than ever, is the medic. This drug carrier can easily heal any biological ground unit, and very quickly, 12 marines and 6 medics is one of the most powerful attacks against a early protoss encampment, even with 3-4 photon cannons blocking. The medics can heal the marines and firebats after they use they're stimpacks.

This is not what I've come here to talk to you about my friend. In the year and a half I've spent trying to cross this icy battlefield, I've witnessed the most powerful events ever. Right now I want to tell you what I saw before I came here, as it was one of the most terrible things ever. Oh, and by the way, you wouldn't happen to know where I can get a sweater? My vulture broke down before I could get out of that zerg camp over there, and a lurker destroyed it shortly after.

"Why, sure, thank you for all of this information, I was wondering what the hell that thing was" Craig Dookay, the commander in charge, said.

"No problem, anyway, back to that war I was talking about"

"Yes, I am eager to hear of it"

First of all, this is what I could get from the spy satelite. I have a video recording of it too, I'll show you that later.

"As it turns out, there is a country on the planet "challenger" in which both the terran and the protoss live in harmony. They enjoy many things, including studying the other species. Unfortunately these studies got out of hand, and they we're on the brink of a Civil War. Unfortunately the UED came in and knocked out the terran completely, and when I showed up, we're planning on knocking down the protoss too"

"Amazing!", the UED is still doing that, and with no real reason!

"I never figured out why, or how, but the terran had been camping on a small mineral rich island nearby, and they we're able to take the UED down again, before any attacks on the protoss could be made."

"Ah, I think I see where you are going with this"

"The terrans there got suspicious when they heard that the protoss had not been touched, and secretly planned to destroy them, thats when I got interested"

"Go on my boy, go on"

"Anyway... I tapped into the spy satelite, and taped the whole thing with the high zoom camera, unfortunately it only really shows unit movement, and building placement, so I'll save it for the end. I did however get many photographs to show you"

"Wait, I want you to tell me as it happened, show me the pictures later"

"Okay sir, here's the battle log."

Player One. Red Computer. Top Position Terran

Player Two. Blue Computer Bottom Position. Protoss

The first thing that happened was the zerg destroyed both camps. This didn't prevent the war, they just started over from scratch.

(Okay, this is where the real BR starts, keep in mind the INSANE AI DOES START WITH 2000 MINERALS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES)

     The protoss began by building a pylon with the 5th probe, and a gateway right after. The terran began a supply depot immediately, and also made alot of scvs. The protoss didn't make nearly as many probes, atleast not until 2 gateways we're down.

While I was looking at the protoss base, I noticed something tactically...stupid...he actually pulled 2 probesoff mining to build 2 buildings, a pylon and a gateway, let me show

You can see here, that the probes are building two buildings, or atleast leaving the warp site.

"Amazing! The protoss doesn't build enough probes, but still feels the need to warp in his buildings with 2 probes"

The terran commander started building mariens non-stop, but he made no medics, I'm unsure of why not, he had the capabilty, he just didn't do it! After he was mining both geysers, he started on a 3rd an 4th barracks. Unfortunately he didn't make very many marines, even though he knew the protoss was going to make zealots (I witnessed a SCV heading down there, never saw it come back to the terran camp though) Not making enough marines would be fine, if he had made firebats, or atleast medics.When the protoss had 11 zealots he sent them northward, hoping to take down atleast a few SCVs. The terran commander (with his maphack enabled) stupidly moved his marines out of the relative saftey behind the supply depots and barracks, right up to the choke point. This was dumb, as the protoss was able to easily overwhelm the marines. I personnally think the terran would've had no trouble destroying the zealots had he ordered his marines to stay put.

"Your right son, very right"

    Thank god for this, the terran had begun a factory while I wasn't looking, and was able to finish off the last 3 zealots with it, and a few marines and 1 firebat that just popped out. When the threat was gone he continued making vultures and marines. The marines used there stimpacks quite often, even when no one was around.

" heh heh heh, no medics yet I presume? "

"Nope, none at all"    

About 4-5 days after the origional attack (4-5 minutes game time) they protoss once again attacked, this time with a few dragoons involved.

Thank fully the terran was able to save his ass, but just barely, he lost all of his scvs and nearly 50 marines and 10 firebats (3 marines and 1 firebat) at a time.

   It was clear now that the protoss would win, so the protoss took his exspansion island,and the terran exspansion island, and once again attacked.

  The attack force of 4 reavers, 12 dragoons, 1 dt, 12 zealots, and a probe (dunno why, maybe to kill the last building) destroyed the entire base. The 4 reavers we're the first to die, losing they're robotic lives to 40 marines, but not before taking out 37 of them. The rest of the force was whittled away by a few vultures and marines as they came out. For some reason the terran had expanded to a gas exspansion without me knowing. Or any good reason too.

                 The once peaceful land of challenger was once again peaceful. The protoss had evaded destruction easily, and the terran

Lessons Learned

Watching comps suck hard is fun

It takes practice making the Campaign editor do as you say, such as making two insane AI's battle eachother, and letting you watch without them allying and trying to take out your invulnerable E-Bay

Due to popular demand, I did NOT include The Rubber Ducky music. Don't know why ya'll don't like it.

I really tried on this one! Seriously, anyone that wants to flame me please send it to me at

rubberducky@hilarious.com because I'll be away for a few days, and I need something to read in my email =] (I can't load this site without crashing do to the pictures =[ ) Also, if this does not show up, it's entirely the fault of battlereports.com's html boxes. I've triple checked the html.