"Canada > YRM"
-Fractal_Wave
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| A typical BR.com report | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 09/07/99 09:09 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 4, Min: 4
Lifetime Rating for Lemuroo: 5.2609 |  | Well, allow me to make excuses before i even submit my report because this is my first battlereport ever.
Now that i have fully excused myself from any wrong doing, i will proceed to recount the tale of how i valiantly defeated someone remarkably less skilled then me, and hopefully pass off my bragging as actual strategy.
My opponent, being the (insert racial slur here) lamer that he was, picked toss. Of course, me being of the far superior (insert race here) picked terran, because of course if a terran beats a toss its oh so gravy.
So, we play the game on Lost Temple, because only complete lamers play on Hunters since just about everyone and their grandmother plays on hunters.
Unfortunately, i ended up with the 12 o'clock spot. But alas, that wouldn't hurt me, cause i'm just all too spiffy of a player.
I recon my opponent with one of my scv's, and being such a great player i start harassing him with one of my peons. Man, i'm the best player ever. From that limited recon that only saw his first two buildings, i deduced that he was being a total lame toss and going for the turbo newbie (dt rush/mass goons/corsairs/zealot rush) I mean, come on people, why do toss ALWAYS have to do the same thing over and over again.
Nothing much happens early on. I start powering like Grr does, and then i do an awesome Maynard transfer. The cash is just pouring in and i have the coolest base. I start making all of my units from my raxes and my factories at my expansion so that they can get into the battle right away. Oh yeah, and my opponent reaver dropped my main and completely took it out.
So then, i send out my elite marine squads and i start attacking him. He send a zealot army after me, and using awesome micro, my 6 marines manage to kill his zealot. I tell ya, i was clicking all over the place, and since he was stupid and just attack moved, his zealot was no match for my marines.
Oh yeah, he also took out all my rerazed my main and took out my newly built scv's there.
So finally, i have this HUGE tank push set up to take out that stupid predictable toss, and i send it over to his base. My guys start firing, and by carefully microing my units i manage to tell my siege tanks to go into siege mode from time to time, thus enhancing their attack. Wowzers.
This tank push manages to take out his natural, and starts woking into his main. I'd make more troops, but by this time my main and most of my raxes and factories are gone, and i'm only staying in the game by floating buildings randomnly around the place.
My tank push penetrates into his base because the stupid (insert ethnicity here) forgot to build templars. Hahaha, farking (ethnic group) they are soooooo retarded.
Well, my awesomely managed tank push woulda won the game, but nooooo, he has to do a double lag/mineral/stat hack on me. I mean, he only started lagging since after i finished my 12th scv, and now, all of a sudden, he lags out of the game after the blue screen has popped up from time to time.
Farking (insert ethnic group here), they are all stupid disconnecters. Grrrrrr
Lessons learned:
1) I am sooooo awesome. I can take out inferior toss players with my awesome terran and suffer no casualities
2) Tank pushes are cool
3) I ownz your bonez!!!
Real lessons learned:
1) Feel free to give yourself a big pat on your back after you make a battlereport, but be aware that blatant bragging it pretty obvious.
2) Don't play down your enemies skill. Too often people report games where the actions of the other party are downplayed as to be almost miniscule, and his skill totally lacking.
3) Its ok to post games that you've lost from time to time. If anything, these are the most informative. Games that you won were won because you probably knew what to do, and just repeated a formula that you've done before. Games that you lost were due to the fact that something unexpected happened, and 9 out of 10 times the lessons that you learned were in losses.
4) Quite frankly, people would be better of leaving names out of these reports. They accomplish very little, and would clean up most of the battlereports by making them accurate representations of what happened, as opposed to simple bragging. Exceptions of course are BR's written by third parties.
And that's all folks.
I never enjoyed elmur fudd cartoons.
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