Introduction

Translation: 'Page must load... keep fans occupied... quick look a midget!'

==While this is loading, let me tell you a bit about this game. One night a couple weeks ago, several of my friends from high school were chillin on bnet, and we decided to play some games. After a couple, five of us still wanted to play, so I offered to watch and maybe br a 2v2. They complied, and this is the result.

==My friends and I have found in our years of playing that there are so many retarded clans, that we decided to screw around with making non-clan clans. Thus the Always_ clan took form, with such notable members as Always_Nekkid and Always_L@ggin, and the very impressive and fear-inspiring TeamKorea clan, where when you spelled our names together in sequence it said 'Noh Wei Don Hac' (read it out loud). Yeah we had lots of free time.

==This is the reason that its a Clan War ...kinda, with Xiaoe{NGR} and {NGR}SatansPal taking on Always_Newb and Always_Dieing (yeah he spelled it that way on purpose). K unless your hamster died in the modem, it should be all loaded up. Enjoy this 2v2!

Let the Games Begin

Translation: 'Cuz its gettin late and Springer's on'

==As the game begins, the players commence their starting builds and strategies. {NGR}SatansPal (from now on known as Satan, even though he's actually just a colorful little monkey) does a conventional Pool at 8 with a Sunken and 6 Zerglings following. His overlord begins scouting counterclockwise. Xiaoe{NGR} (Xiaoe from now on) begins a Barracks, Supply, and Refinery soon after, and sends a scouting SCV clockwise. Always_Newb (Newb from now on) powers before building his Barracks and also sets up a Refinery. Always_Dieing (you get it by now) sets up a fairly conservative Forge build, and threatens to Offensive Cannon one of the enemy, a strategy which disconcerts Newb, who convinces him not to employ the supergosu tactic.
==The scouts have found Newb's base as a Probe from Dieing scouts out Satan. Dieing builds 2 cannons by his Nexus before warping in a Gateway and Assimilator. Xiaoe begins Marine-whoring with his Rax while constructing a second, and sends 2 Marines and an SCV towards Dieing's base. The Terran forces meet up with 6 Zerglings at the base of Dieing's cliff. Newb sends 4 Marines toward Satan's base, who is constructing his second Hatchery inside his main, and constructs an Engineering Bay for fear of quick Lurkers.
==A scouting Zergling find Dieing with 2 Zealots and 3 Cannons inside his main, and the combined NGR forces move in to try to take out the Probes. Unfortunately, the Cannons are too powerful, and 2 Marines run away dejectedly, chased by the Zealots.
==Builds finally become clear as Xiaoe constructs another Barracks to pump out M&M as his Terran counterpart moves up the tech tree with a new Factory. Newb's Marines have reached Satan's base, and move behind the mineral patch, losing one of their number to a nearby Sunken. The Marines kill several Drones before a fresh batch of Zerglings eliminate the threat.
==Both Terrans build Academies and Comsat, and while Newb begins Tank production and Siege research, Xiaoe sends a force of 9 Marines, 2 Medics, and an SCV. The Always team decide to try to finish Satan off, and a motley crüe of 5 arines, 2 Tanks, and 3 Zealots move out. The Zealots encounter Xiaoe's force, and after taking some fire, retreat to the cannon defense. Newb continues to the Zerg base to try and eliminate him, confident in Dieing's ability to hold off the onslaught. 8 Zerglings from Satan head off to Dieing's base before the Terran threat arrives, and a Bunker and then Turret go up under Dieing's cliff.
==Dieing pumps out several more zealots and starts a Citidel and Archives just as Newb's troops kill a Drone attempting to take the natural. Satan sends several Zerglings which manage to take a Tank into the red, and an unwary Tank gets tentacled to death by a Sunken after wandering in too close (unit control, guys, unit control). The other Tank sieges up and the Marines bunch around it for warmth. Once again, the force is only able to kill several Drones before a squad of new Zerglings wipe the attack out.

The Buildup

Translation: 'Shopping is more fun when you're plowed.'

==Each player continues to build up their units of choice. Newb pumps Tanks and Marines, and constructs a Starport and add-on to get Dropship capability. Dieing pumps DTs, Zealots, and a High Templar as he tries to figure out how to lift the siege. Satan has a Lair and dual Evolution Chambers up to upgrade his multihatch ground troops. Xiaoe adds Factories and begins to produce Tanks to counter Newb.

==Newb sends out 3 Tanks and 9 Marines toward Xiaoe's base, but stops them above the ice. Xiaoe has meanwhile added a Tank to give the siege at Dieing's base an apt name. The Tank climbs up to the top of the ramp and begins firing siege shells, and Dieing's High Templar perishes after summoning a lightning storm above the chunk of metal. A nearby SCV begins immediately repairing the Tank, and several Marines are brought up the cliff to help defend the Tank. This force manages to kill 3 Dark Templars that cannot escape the detection of a Missile Turret.


==Dieing constructs a Robotics Facility and sends his ground forces out in an attempt to put and end to the siege again, and manage to take out most of the Marines and the Tank, but fall to the fire of the Bunker at the bottom of the cliff. Newb flies 2 Dropships to his troops outside Xiaoe's base, and drops 2 Tanks and a scadful of M&M behind the minerals.
==The valiant SCVs counterattack the assault, and manage to 'kill' a Tank thanks to splash from the other one. Feeling he can eventually deal with the threat, Xiaoe sends his 4 Tanks to Dieing's base, one of which wanders up the ramp into cannons and dies (this happens a lot I've noticed). Satan sends help in the form of two dozen speed-upgraded Zerglings, which manage to kill the entire force except for a Tank which is left in the red and perishes to 4 latecomer Zerglings.
==While this was going on, Xiaoe stepped up the attack on Dieing, making 2 more Turrets and a Bunker at the top of the cliff, and with one of his new tanks, manages to take out a Gateway that casually wandered too close (the tables are turned, Trebek!). Dieing quickly expands to the top of the center islands with a Probe in a new Shuttle, and Newb takes the bottom island.
==A High Templar manages to kill a Tank with Psi Storm before he too perishes from siege fire. A DT nearby runs in to finish off another weakened Tank but is no match for the forces assembled. As another Gateway falls, Satan sends 24 zerglings to finish off the main. While he still has his tech, Dieing constructs 3 Stargates at his island as 2 more dropships from Newb unload Tanks into Xiaoe's main. While the Tanks begin firing, Dieing cancels a Stargate and puts up a Fleet Beacon (oh god... anything but that...).
==The Tanks are too much for Xiaoe, who floats his Command Center and all 3 Barracks and floats them east. Another line of Zerglings from Satan manage to kill 2 of the Tanks and cause Newb to load up the other two. Xiaoe has built a CC at Dieing's natural as his floating buildings make their Oregon Trail trek towards the unoccupied bottom right main. Newb and Dieing have meanwhile both begun construction of air forces, the choice units being cloakable Wraiths and Carriers.
==Newb has sent several Tanks to Dieing's island to aid in defense. Satan has expanded to Xiaoe's natural, and one of his scouting Zerglings runs into an assembled host of 12 Marines and 4 Tanks. Satan's 1-2 Hydraling forces move out to take them out before they can effectively siege. They reach the Terrans, who retreat in order to siege up, but the speedy troops are too much for them. The remaining Hydralisks make their way behind the minerals in Newb's natural, for God knows what reason. While the Hydras make camp, Satan expands to the bottom right natural.
==Dieing and Xiaoe busily rebuild in their respective homes, the Protoss Executor with Carriers and the Terran Commander with 2 new Starports and Turrets. A large force of Hydralings move out from Satan's base en route to attack Newb, and meet opposition in the form of 6 Carriers with several Interceptors each, 12 Marines, and several Tanks on Newb's ridge.
==Newb goes Overlord hunting with a large force of Wraiths at Satan's base, who quickly sets up several Spore Colonies. The Zerg Cerebrate's forces fought their way into the Terran main, and the Carriers and returning Wraiths eliminate them before they can do more than kill troops. I personally feel that if the 12 Hydras that Satan had chillin by the natural had entered the fray, they could have potentially killed important structures and impaired Newb.

Sporadic Fighting

Translation: 'Things go boom boom boom, let me hear you say way-o.'

==At this point, although Dieing has been exiled to one island and Newb only has 1 running base, the powerful forces and experience that the Always team has give them the advantage. To drive the point home, Dieing's Carriers have begun an assault on Satan's main, wreaking havoc on the lightly defended zerg base. In response, 4 cloaked Wraiths from Xiaoe swoop in and return fire. They manage to take out 1 Carrier before the Scan sweep reveals them and their papier-mâché days are over.
==The fact that team NGR hasn't taken out one of Dieing's Pylons and his Robotics Facility in his ex-main, Newb takes note of the construction taking place there by Xiaoe, and sends his Wraith squadron to do what they can. Satan builds 2 Spires at the bottom right natural as the Carriers return to their assault of Satan's main, and again the teal Wraiths cloak and take to the skies, killing one and driving the others off.

==At this point, Newb says something that surprises me: I assumed at that point that he felt that he is losing and wants NGR to just finish them off. From the observer's standpoint, I feel that with the power of the Carriers, team Always can maintain control of the left side of the map and strategically decimate their opponents. As the idea is being considered, a Newb's Wraith group attacks the few remaining teal buildings at Xiaoe's ex-main, and in a counterattack, a flock of Mutalisks and 4 Wraiths begin attacking Newb's undefended island expansion.
==Predictably, this has the result of forcing Newb to return to save his only source of income. The red Wraiths cloak, and with the help of 5 Carriers, 1 Corsairs, and Scan Sweep, team Always slaughters the enemy air force, saving the CC (which is in the red). Newb attempts to attack Xiaoe's bottom right main, but after killing a Turret and a couple SCVs, they are driven off by newly produced, cloaked Wraiths.
==A double line of Zerglings from Satan's main race off to kill a 2 Tank assault (which escaped my notice) on Xiaoe's old main structures. With another 'finish it,' this time clearly directed at Dieing, Newb asks his partner to kill off the NGR enemy. Dieing complies, though he states his desire to wait for his Observers to build.
==Once again, Xiaoe's air force scramble in cloaked form to help his partner, and with excellent management, performs hit-and-runs on the Carriers, retreating at the very hint of a sparkly blue circle.

Post-Climactic Climaces...Climaxes... er...

Translation: 'I'm not an English major, but I live in a van down by the river'

==Dieing expands to the top left unclaimed main with a Wraith escort, and Satan builds several Hatcheries at Xiaoe's old main as the teal Wraiths return to repair from their first truly successful mission. Pursuing Corsairs meet their death flying over a troop of Marines and several cloaked Wraiths stationed by Xiaoe's new main. Without the help of the Corsairs, the weakened Carriers are sitting ducks for the Marines and Wraiths, which assault the huge blimps until none of the Goodyears remain in the sky.
==Undeterred, Newb's Wraith troop finds and begins attacking Satan's Hatchery farm in the bottom left as a line of cracklings assault Newb's relic of a main base, causing, once again, the Wraiths to return to the defense. At this point, Xiaoe finally notices the 12 Hydras still camped out by Newb's natural, and Satan sends them to attack Newb's main, and several new Carriers join the Wraiths in repelling the invaders.
==Like the good little ally he is, Xiaoe sends a Science Vessel and his own Wraiths, which cloak and decimate the enemy air force, forcing them to run away, allowing the Hydras to finish the work on Newb's base. The teal squad then flies out and discovers Dieing's expo in the top left main, and before doing significant damage, are chased away by Newb's remaining 9 Wraiths, who cloak and destroy the Science Vessel. Both Terran wraith squads regroup, and in a scouting mission, Newb's wraiths fly directly into and are annihilated by a mixed company of Hydras and Wraiths at Newb's old main.

Denouement

Translation: 'High verbal SAT scores gogogo'

==While team Always is trying to hold onto the surviving Dieing expansion (I apologize, pun waaaaay intended), team NGR builds up their forces. Dieing spends his bank out on 2 new Cannons for defense, leaving his 2 new Carriers without Interceptors. Satan is content building Hydras and long-distance gas mining from several depleted Vespene outlets, and Xiaoe builds a line of precautionary Turrets around the right side of the islands. A lone siege Tank destroys several before Xiaoe's Wraiths descend upon it and eliminate it. The teal squadron then returns to the lightly defended Protoss expansion and finally finish the job.


==At this point, all players agree that the game is over, and gg's are exchanged all around.

And your winners are...

-=+=-

And your losers are...

Just kidding guys, you played a great game. mwa ha ha ha...

ENDGAME

Translation: 'Still a great song by REM'

SCORES

OK this time I made sure I had pictures of all the scores... Game time was 47:32. As you can see, the scores were pretty close:

LESSONS LEARNED

1) Winter Conquest is a suitable alternative to Temple.
2) Expand. If its 30 minutes into the game and you have only 2 bases, you're doing something wrong.
3) Its 3am, I must be lonely.
4) Coordinating your attacks makes them more successful.
5) Making battle reports on good games takes a long time.

MVP UNIT OF THE GAME

==I give the MVP award to the Terran Wraith. The little buggers were surprisingly effective in combat and were key elements during much of the game.

THE BEST OF POSTGAME CHATTER

Thanks to my friends who played a great game, and congrats to the underdogs Xiaoe{NGR} and {NGR}SatansPal for coming through with the win in the end. Thanks also to Star-Craft-Man for his creative ideas. I'd also like to take this time to thank the sperm that fertilized the egg that would soon be me for his courage, tenacity, and determination. You'll be missed, Sid McSpermenstein. You'll be missed.