"It's not about winning in FFA, it's revenge."
-Mark4
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| The Adventures of Mark4 and Hawk: The Coming of Hash oil | | | Author: | | | IP: | 1Cust220XXXX | | Date: | 09/18/01 01:09 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 3, Min: 3
Lifetime Rating for Monty Pylon: 6.0390 |  | The Adventures of Mark4 and Hawk: The Coming of Hash oil
Na na na na na na na na Mark4
Na na na na na na na na Mark4
Mark4 Mark4
MARK4
It was a bright and sunny day over the far site known as Battlereports.com. The air was sweet with the newest arriving reports, as the replays frolicked in the afternoon sun. The forum was filled with happy messages, as the visitors felt all was right with the world. But then, a violent and vicious attack befell the fair visitors to the site. A whirlwind of spam and vile hatred swept through the downtown forum distract. In an instant, the peace and tranquility had been forever ruined. In its wake, athurities found the word “Dumbass” splattered across every bill board and reply. Commissioner Vegas acted immediately and called for those two pillars of might and right, Mark4 and Hawk.
“Get me Mark4 and Hawk, hopefully it’s not too late.”
At the time, Mark4 and Hawk were relaxing at home playing a few quick rounds for Fox’s ladder. Just as Mark was probe dropping Hawks last building, the Mark phone sounded an alarm. The dynamic deuce answered and was greeted by a frantic Commissioner Vegas.
“Mark4, you and Hawk must come to headquarters immediately.”
“Say no more commissioner, we’re on our way. Quickly Hawk, to the mark poles.”
Mark4 press a secret button at the base of a bust of Cattlebruiser and the duos slid down and as always, were fully dressed. One quick ride in the Mark mobile and they were at the police headquarters.
“We came as fast as possible commissioner, what seems to be the problem?”
“We are facing are darkest hour Mark4. An evil force has wraught destruction in the forum distract and we have no idea who it is.”
“Did you run a search for any known criminals at large?”
“I was just about to do that, good thinking Mark4. Computer, list all known super-criminals still at large?”
“Computing. These super-criminals are still at large. Kidd the King.”
“Of course, that royal pain in the ass. It must be him.”
“Iggy.”
“I forgot about him, master of disguise and clown prince of crime.”
“Dino Din”
“Who the hell is that?”
“I don’t know, must be some glitch in the system. But what if Kidd and Iggy have joined forces? Would they try and take over the forum?”
“If it was only one of them, yes. But the two of them, would try and take the entire site.”
“If they have joined forces we need to stop them as soon as possible.”
“Not so fast Hawk, we can’t just rush in without a plan. We need to talk with someone who can help us. The old-school super-friends.”
“Old-school super-friends? I thought that all disappeared?”
“They pop in from time to time, but there is one who has never left.”
“You don’t mean…”
“That’s right Hawk, to the lair of Ana.”
“But I hate going to Ana’s, it has old man smell.”
“So it does Hawk, but the fate of the site depends on us. Ana is the only one who could give us insight as to what our enemies will do next.”
The super-friends went forth and came upon the underground lair of Ana. It was rumored that Ana had been there since the site was founded, but no one really knew for sure. As usual, Ana had his eyes peeled for forum posts and some guy named monty.
“Good day Ana, we have come to…”
“I know why you have come. I have been watching it all day, and we have little time to waste. We must defeat Dagomar before its too late.”
“Um, Ana, you already did. You flamed him so much he left the site.”
“Oh yeah, good thing I did too. He was nothing more then a lamer and a new school punk. Lousy beatnik. I’ll get rid of them all. First I get rid of Dagomar, then Erad, then that pylon, and then anyone else who has a slight difference from my opinion. Mwahahahahaha.”
“Um…Mark, Ana’s scaring me again.”
“Just try not to make eye contact, he won’t feel threatened that way. Anyway, Ana, that’s not why we’re here. Kidd and Iggy have joined forces to conquer the site. We must stop them.”
“It is not them that you seek. It is another.”
“How can you be so sure, who is it then?”
“I know because Kidd hasn’t been seen in months and Iggy has been rehabilitated. It is the one who bears the mark of “Dumbass”. It is the one known as Hash oil.”
“Where can we find this Hash oil?”
“He is not far from here, just go two pages back and refresh twice. With any luck, he’ll find you.”
Mark4 and Hawk raced down the alleys of the site and sure enough, they found a hideout littered with the stamp of “dumbass”. They crept forward and ducked low as to not be detected. They found hash oil and his men, laughing as they watched the chaos of their attack spread over the forum.
“Soon we will be able to launch a full assault and then the site will be ours.”
“Not if we can help it hash oil.”
“How did you find me hero?”
“Easy, we followed the smell of ass and found you running your mouth.”
“Do you think you can stop me?”
“We’ll, I came here to do two things, kick ass and chew gum. And I’m all out of gum.”
The twin towers of power rushed Hash Oils henchmen and began to get medieval.
Na na na na na na na na Mark4 POW
Na na na na na na na na Mark4 BAM
Mark4 BIFF Mark4 SLAP
MARK4 CRUNCH
With Hash Oil’s men defeated, it would appear as if the end was near. Hash Oil punched a code into his computer and a great blue shield enveloped him.
“You fool’s thought you had me, but I am now protected by my Spam Shield. There are now Nine Billion Lines of Spam protecting me, it is impenetrable.”
“Holy vacuum Mark4, that really sucks.”
“That shield is no match for me.”
“Ana, what are you doing here?”
“Making sure that I’m the head flamer on the forum and not this new-school punk beatnik. Take some of this.”
Ana pulled out his Spaminator 5000, a gun that shot pure spam and flames.”
BOOM
this in't real life, this isn't a democracy, you have no right to expression, you mean nothing. just another bump on br.com's backroad of stupidity.
BOOM
the site isn't "going downhill" because of flames and insults. every 3 or 4 months someone threatens that mockery will be the death of the site and that "something has changed:" it hasn't happened yet. the only thing that's changed at this site is an influx new people who don't know their place and don't think they have to pay their dues. and no, i'm not prejudiced based on history with anyone and i'm not judging anyone just because they're new. there are loads of new guys who are as cool as anyone who's been here since the beginning(DrA, CHJ, test, slip, scarab, xld, corb). then we have the whiney fags who refuse to improve and persist in posting the same, immature stupidity day in, day out and then complain unendingly about their "work" being trashed. well if you're going to put alot of work into something, please have the decency to make sure it doesn't suck shit before you go yelling at someone else for saying it's jackass. as for the 5 people who say i have to make a br to really be a part of this community or actually have an opinion: fuck off. i don't need to prove my prowess as an author to some 14 year old bitter that i mocked his sentence structure and paltry humor(or 3d zealot). there are alot of guys here who don't br just because we have no desire to at all. show me the brs by krebs, poa, blank, angel, crazy, etc.
nothing has changed, nothing will change. if you don't like how the site is now, the leave and shut the fuck up about it. we have enough bleeding hearts as it is.
Hash Oil watched as his Spam Shield collapsed under the power of the ammunition and fell to the ground, incapacitated by an aneurysm. With hash Oil defeated, the defenders of might and Right, returned to their beloved site for a long deserved vacation.
Na na na na na na na na MARK4
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