| DarkMenace vs Ultralisck Joe | | | Author: | | | IP: | cache-1.XXXX | | Date: | 04/02/02 03:04 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 3, Min: 3
Lifetime Rating for DontGottaRateIt: 3.0000 |  | When i did my last report i realized that it may have been lame to some people. Fine, if you thought so then don't even BOTHER reading this one. All these noob tactics are real, and my purpose in these br's is not only to entertain the reader, but to show some people that most ppl on starcraft are still noobs, and while everyone at br.com is an expert at the game, some people do play with 30 minute 4 pools, and play on like -=(SomeClan)=-MoneyMoneY$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ maps and stuff. This time i bring you my fav pals, Joe and Menace back into the floor. And you can decide if theyre real (ps joe and menace are sub names for maybe real players.......) and this time.......Menace will command the great terran while joe will go with his "ultralisck" race...the menacing (ironic isnt it) ZERG!
Map: Clan [h2k] Fastest Map Ever : land of the kakaru's (real map, shorter name)
Info: this map is like the hunters in layout. there are no naturals by your base and just straight paths to the middle. 8 bases, each in obvious positions. There are two mineral sections in your base, one that you start in with these hacked up minerals really close to your nexus and another one which you can expand in. Each base is an island with ONE choke straight to the middle.
Locations: Our pal JOE is back this time at the 12:00 position commanding the zerg
Menace goes with the fearsome and formidable terran race at the 6:00.
3-2-1 GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mouses furiously click as Joe and Menace both send their 4 drones/scvs to one mineral, allowing the AI to spread them out. Joe decides that he's sick of being a noob and sends an early reconaissance unit, his drone, to scout while leaving his overlord to scout the other mineral patch in his base...hoping that menace didn't start out there (how could he tho....) However half way to 6:00 joe's drone spots a kakaru (aaww isnt it cute....joe says). thus he commands his scvs to follow the kakaru (sucker....). Menace doens't scout at all.
Early builds were pretty simple. Joe took out his great quick gas build...LURKERS duh. Extractor at 4....and used 3 drones to mine gas and one to mine minerals. He knew that it was GOSU to have 3 mining gas, mark2.5 said so! and so did dirfsab. how could he be wrong?
Menace decided that he would go with some m&m...though he wasnt quite sure what they were. Since he couldnt think of what m m meant, he finally deduced that it mean MARINES & MARINES. wow..he thought...im so smart. Thus he started pumping marines from his one rax. He didnt even TRY for a wallin, seeing as how that failed last game w/joe.
Joe decides that he will execute an expert move and sunken rush menace. he has no clue how to but he has seen it succeed with people like the great mick. Thus joe takes 3 drones to menace's base, and builds a hatchery near his mineral line and building 2 extractors to distract him. If he can finish his hatchery, he mite be able to pull of a sunken rush he thinks!!!
Menace is FREAKED...he has no clue how to repel the awesome GOSUness of this attack. He's about to throw in the towel when he decides he must do one thing, counter. Sending his 12 marines...he counters joe. He knows that he can't beat a sunken rush, and he knows that 2 extractors > 12 marines...i mean its so obvious. His 12 marines do some really cool micro. As in menace sends them in one at a time to combat joe's sunken. Damn menace screams as his last marine dies, the sunken is bleeding but evidently not dead.
(menace thinks) : maybe....the sunken will bleed to death just like terran buildings burn down ! hahahah now i can kill him
The hatchery meanwhile has finished and joe's first drone builds a creep colony right in the mineral line of menace. Menace sees no choice but to lift off and send his 24 newly made marines to the southeast corner. The one sunken tears down the 2 supply depots at his base.
HAHAHA shouts joe, SUCCESS at last. Joe is excited at his cost effective battle. By spending 550 minerals he killed 2 supply depots. 2 WHOLE SUPPLY! (wait a minute....) But then joe realizes...that he must tech to the one unit that made him the fearsome noob he is now...the ultralisck.
Menace knows hes fucked royally, he quickly tries to rebuild frantically going for valkyries. Obviously he figures...valks own any sort of air. And menace thinks that he can force the valkyrie pilots to launch missles at the ground by showing them his great body. (valk pilots are women of course). What menace doesn't realize is that he weighs as much as a valk but thatz okay. Quickly putting those thoughts in the back of his head (or ass) he decides to quickly tech to valks while bunkering up like hell. He tries to get marines to mine minerals but it doesnt work...o well.
Joe has been speeding up the tech tree, in 50 minutes he goes colony, hatchery, colony, extractor, hatchery, lair, queens nest, hive, defiler mound, hydra den, spire (what going back down the tech tree?) and then ultralisk cavern. "finally" joe thinks, the battle is MINE. By winning this match it will effectivly win him the tourney prize in this 2 outta 3, a private lesson from none else then the great "yourmommasrolemodel".
Menace thinks differently and already has 14 valks. He sends them over JUST as Joe builds something like 24 ultraliscks. With no anti air joe loses all of his ol's but menace is frusturated when he realizes that he isn't able to force the valks to hit ground. "ugh" he thinks "it must be because my body isnt good enuff" mad he gets on his treadmill for 15 minutes.
<15 minutes later>
Joe sends his 24 ultralisks to Menace's base, tearing into the marines trying to mine gas in his mineral line. Menace is back though and lifts off all his buildling. It seems that they are at a stalemate...menace cant hit the ground and joe cant hit the air!
Then joe puts his logic into use....
(joe) "valks can hit the lifted off buildings but my ultras can't. THIS CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING. valks OWN ultras. WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT. DUH!"
Joe throws in the towel and quits the game.
(want a third one or what?) |
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