"Writers note. We all hope the future holds a lot of gratuitous nudity"
-Eggfoo-young
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| Massive Ownage | | | Author: | | | IP: | 170.211.XXXX | | Date: | 10/25/02 07:10 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 4, Min: 4
Lifetime Rating for The Wise One: 3.6667 |  | Massive Ownage
I was scrolling through the game join screen on the West Server of battlenet one day with my lovely account name ~War_Lord~ when I came across a game called "2v2 You Can't Win!". I immediately thought Really? as I joined the game. It appeared it would be taking place on a popular and enjoyable map called Fastest Possible Map Ever. The whole concept of this map is one single mineral square for all your probes to use with about twelve geysers, six on each side. Now it appeared that my opponents would be SCE_BlueFox and SCE_Crusador. My partner was Poor_Little_Newb (how lame). I picked the technologically based toss. Poor_Little_Newb warped in a Nexus as well. BlueFox morphed in a sexy hatch while Crusador landed as a Command Center. Warlord’s (me) starting build was double pylons with two gates in front and a forge behind. Poor_Little_Newb started similar just slightly slower and no forge. BlueFox morphed two hatches and extractor before getting her pool. While these were morphing she built three creep colonies in front her main hatch. Crusador started his build with two barracks covering his base exit and a supply depot in front of his center and one geyser in his backmost vespene spot. My scouting probe located BlueFox. I prepared my zealots force to go around her sunkens and hit here hatch from behind, because with this sort of money map I knew she would have to mine long range if I took it out. About this time our Terran friend Crusador located Poor_Little_Newb’s base where he was massing similar zealots. Back at base I began to kick goons and warped a citadel to upgrade speed on my zealots and for the templar archives where ultimate anti zerg unit awaited. About this time a large marine, medic, and fire bat force from Crusador stormed into Poor_Little_Newb’s unprepared base. His zealots tried to stop the push but stim packs whipped the Terran infantry into a frenzy tearing them apart. With my templar archives freshly warped I quickly began researching storm, and building darks to save my unfortunate partner. He had but one gateway left when the five dark rescue party arrived hacking their way through the terran forces. The terran scattered in a race of fury to escape the deadly light sabers of there invisible opponents. Run and fight another day was Crusaders policy. Mean while back at base some heavy improvements were being made two star ports and robotic bays were being warped to open up a new age of corsairs, shuttles, and reavers. Meanwhile BlueFox had massed a nice little force of lings and hydras with lurkers burrowed in front of her sunkens. She sent them to my partner to finish his torn up of. A stray zealot of mine managed to spot the movement. I immediately marched my now sizable force of zealots, and darks to stop the opposition. At first his force was taken by surprise and being cut and diced apart by my darks. That is until a overlord with speed upgrade happened to stain me with its ugly presence. After that, the darks were basically vaporized in a spray of acids and the zealots didn’t last to long either. I sent zealot after zealot for reinforcements but they all met similar faints. The game looked grim as the swarm commander now with the help of terran infantry tore my partner to threads. I soon saw the annoying message Poor_Little_Newb has been eliminated. Back at my base I was macroing my ass off to get my unit production up cause I knew a double attack on my base was inevitable. I was beginning the see why they named this game 2v2 you can’t win! However, giving up is not in my vocabulary. So by the time the attack came I had a sizable force consisting of about 20 zealots, 10 darks, 5 high templar (with energy and storm upgrade), 3 reavers, 2 shuttles (useful for dropping zealots on top of siege tanks). The attack force consisted of approximately 20 lings, 15 hydras, 5 lurkers, 15 marines, 10 fire bats, 5 medics, and 5 siege tanks. Kind of hard to put it in words but the battle was very bloody basically consisted of a constant variation of storm cutting through the terran infantry and zerg. While, my zealots kept the zerglings and hydras at bay (if it wasn’t for speed upgrade I probably would of lost this battle). After almost five minutes of solid blood and guts the battle was over, most of my units were eliminated but with mass gateways on a money map it didn’t take long before they were replenished and on root for the zerg base with counter attack and revenge on there mind. Remember the star ports I mentioned warping earlier, well they weren’t idle 5-8 corsairs were on root to the zerg base for some old fashioned overlord hunting. While, 4 shuttles were in flight to disrupt some economy (being a money map makes it too easy to disrupt ones economy cause the probes are overlapping each other as they gather from the single mineral square allowing 1 scarab shot to take them all out.) First, one of my shuttles unloaded behind the terran’s command center 1 scarab from each eliminated the scvs on each side of the mineral square, while 4 templars from the second shuttle landed storming the vespene gatherers. The zerg suffered similar with the other 2 shuttles while the corsairs splattered there overlords. No need to describe the rest I basically over ran both bases with a combo of hack and slash, storm, and reavers. Moments later the Blue Fox left and Crusador was eliminated.
Lessons Learned:
1. both players were newbs no command center or main hatch defense
2. this game was two one sided
3. don’t do battle reports at school cause you have limited time and no in game screen shots
4. money maps can offer strategy but you people are right the skill level is for below that of lost temple
5. I’m a awful battle reporter
Please Comment on this shitty text only report (don’t flame me too bad though).
After all you can’t expect much from a Microsoft Word report only from memory.
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