"those jokes were sick you acted like a very big baby in this report and need to grow up "
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| Catch Up to Breakup: Ending | | | Author: | | | IP: | 12-253-6XXXX | | Date: | 01/20/03 12:01 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 3, Max: 7, Min: 1
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Catch Up to Break Up: Ending
I didn't realize it but the story was too long for one posting. The begining and opening comments are here. Only read below if you have read the begining. Thanks.
Two weeks before Jen’s school got out for summer we got a bit too drunk and went up to my room to have sex. As we went at it the condom broke, and I didn’t have anymore. We both didn’t want to stop, but we both wouldn’t have sex without protection. I think that the sexual education programs may be working, because it’s been engrained in my head that sex is ok as long as I have a condom on. I wonder if that’s the message they wanted.
I was too drunk to just stop though, so I repositioned her doggy style and tried to go in the back door. We had done it that way one time before while drunk. I had trouble getting it in at first, but then I made it. I went at it until I came inside of her.
The next day she called me sobered up and with a bad realization. She told me that I had cum inside of her. I knew that and I saw no problem because girls couldn’t get pregnant through the ass, at least as far as I knew. Then she told me that I hadn’t been in that hole, but I was in the hole that counted. And I had cum in that hole. After a bit of argument I realized she was right, and that we had a problem.
I immediately went and picked her up and we went to Planned Parenthood. She had heard about something called the “morning after pill,” and the story was that it could be taken within 72 hours of sex to prevent pregnancy. She said they used it for rape victims. Since it was Saturday Planned Parenthood was closed, and it didn’t open until Monday. That was pushing our 72 hours. The weekend was tense for both of us, and on Monday we got the pills after some money dilemmas. Jen was really upset by the entire situation. Every time we talked she was quiet and only said what she had to. I couldn’t engage her in any happy conversation. She didn’t want to hear it. And as I tried to cheer her up all I did was upset her more. It was painful seeing that I couldn’t make her smile when it really mattered.
When I asked her what was the matter she told me nothing. When I pushed the issue she got mad and said, “I’m 15. 15 years old. I should not be worrying about being pregnant! I’m just a little kid! I’m too young for this, I shouldn’t be in this situation, I shouldn’t be taking these pills! I shouldn’t even be thinking about this!”
The next two weeks until school ended were rocky. We had lots of little fights about stupid things, but we stayed together. I had a trip to Hawaii set up with my mom for when school got out, and before I left on the trip Jen told me that she wanted to use the week apart as a time for us to figure out our relationship. We agreed not to try and contact each other during the week.
That was the worst trip to Hawaii any 16-year-old boy has ever had. I drank a lot and tried to fight my brother one night. I even had a chance to hook up with a good-looking girl, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, even while drunk, because I was too dedicated to Jen. One night I sat down and wrote Jen a long letter telling her how much I loved her, and that I knew I wanted to stay together. I acknowledged the fact that things had changed between us, and I admitted that I was still troubled by the situation with the college kid, Justin. I had never been able to truly believe her. I was sure that something had happened. I wrote that for us to be happy together again we needed to sit down and clean the slate, tell each other the truth about everything.
When I got home she was calling me. She had been calling, anxious for me to get back. We talked all night. I barely got to say anything because she was talking about how much she had missed me and that she was so wrong to even consider ending what we had. Jen told me that I was the only guy she wanted on the face of the planet, and it made me feel good.
“Even if Brad Pitt hit on me right now I wouldn’t go for it. I’d choose you over him in a second.”
“Well I’d turn Jennifer Lopez down without thinking about it. You beat her out any day.”
I mentioned that I had written a letter and had made a list of questions that I wanted to ask, but dismissed it and said that we didn’t need to talk about it. The way she welcomed me home had me convinced that she loved me, and I didn’t need anything more.
A week later Lynn called me up. She was driving around near my house and wanted to stop by. She was with Phil, Holly, Rita and Candy. Jen wasn’t with her. They were drinking and she needed to use a bathroom. I told her to come on over, and then she asked me a random question.
“Tony, on that list of questions you had for Jen… did you have Justin on there?”
“Why?”
“Oh, no reason. Just curious.”
She played dumb on the phone until she arrived, and then I forced it out of her. I knew what she was going to tell me before she said it, but I needed to hear it from her and to confirm it. She swore that Jen had told her about what really happened with Justin, and that it wasn’t “nothing,” as she claimed. I told her to wait a second and I went inside to call Jen. I thought up a plan of attack as I went to the phone.
“Jen?”
“Yesssum,” she answered in a cute voice.
“I need to ask you something, and I need you to reply honestly.”
“Ok.” Her tone told me that she sensed the seriousness.
“Promise to tell me the truth, no matter what?”
“Yes.”
“Ok.” I took a breath. I had decided that if she told me the truth I would forgive her and work it out. If she lied I would dump her. “Do you love me?”
“Of course!”
“Ok. Would you ever lie to me?”
“No, never. Why Tony, what’s wrong?”
“Hold on. Just answer this last question for me. What really happened with Justin?”
“Huh? What happened with Justin? Exactly what I already told you happened.”
I hung up on her as soon as she gave her answer, then I went outside and joined them in drinking in Phil’s car. That night I ended up kissing both Lynn and Holly in an attempt at revenge. Hooking up with girls as a way to hurt Jen and also try and move past her during our breakups became a pattern after that. I’m pretty sure she adopted the same battle plan.
That was the start of a chain of breakups that went on over the entire summer. The next day Jen convinced me, again, that she did nothing with Justin and that this time Lynn was lying. I told her about Lynn and Holly, which caused a bit of trouble. We got back together though, but three weeks later another one of her best friends told me the same thing about Justin. I dumped Jen again. She got me back though, this time by telling me that Justin had raped her, and that she hadn’t told me because she was afraid I would have dumped her.
We got back together again, but not officially. She wanted a “break,” because things were so intense, and we dated for another few weeks that way. It was the most painful way to be with her, because she started hanging out with other guys and I lost my status as a top priority. She said that she wasn’t doing anything with them, but I didn’t believe it.
July 4th was a big party night in Boulder but I didn’t get to spend it with Jen. I watched the fireworks fly with my family and I didn’t want to be there at all. When Jen and I first got together we had talked about watching the fireworks together, and I promised that we would watch them from my roof, where we would lay on top of piles of blankets and pillows, wrapped up together. That was when I thought that things would build without all the drama, when I thought I could befriend the mother and be the perfect boyfriend. Watching the fireworks without her reminded me of how far we were from where I wanted us to be.
A few nights later my mom was out of town and Jen came over. We had a small party. My friends and her friends and some other girls, older, sexy girls, met in my basement which was then used as a party place and wasn’t yet my room. Jen had told her mother that she was going to a movie, so she could only stay for 2 hours. We started drinking and things were very strange. Jen didn’t seem to want to talk to me and I tried to avoid talking to her, trying to play the game again, and feeling like it was killing me.
Things went to shit that night though. The rule was that the doors were to always stay locked and no one was supposed to go outside when partying at my house. Unfortunately someone broke the rules, and the door got left open, giving any crazy mothers out there easy access to my house. And of course Cathy somehow figured out that Jen never made it to the movie, and suddenly Cathy was there, standing in my basement surrounded by empty beer cans, plastic cups filled with Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum, and underage teens. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Jen wasn’t in the room when Cathy walked in. Jen was in my future bedroom, which at that point was empty except for 4 old mattresses laid out in a row. Cathy singled me out and screamed at me, asking for Jen. I tried to find Jen but she was hidden well in that room, and the light didn’t work so it was dark. Cathy got angrier and began threatening to call the cops. She called me slime and scum and the downfall of her angelic daughter. I had taken a lot of grief from her over the months but never retaliated. That night I was in a very unbalanced state of mind because of how things were with Jen, and I had some alcohol in my system. I finally blew my fuse and I went crazy on Cathy.
I told her to get out and she told me to make her, so I did. I began pushing her towards the door and she cried out in shock, but wouldn’t take the hint. I kept pushing until she went out the door. The last push was a bit rough though, and she fell hard on the ground. Then I closed the door and locked it. As I did I heard her screaming that she was going to call the cops.
Everyone ran for different doors and fled the house. I ran behind them locking doors. I found Jen and we ran into my backyard, leaving the house locked, and we hid in a big patch of bushes. I apologized for throwing her mom around.
“Don’t apologize. She deserved it. I love you so much, I’m so sorry about that. It’s my fault that she’s after you.”
“No, don’t be sorry babe. It’s not your fault either. She’s got issues. It’s not your fault.” I put my arms around her and we laid in the bushes for a while, and things felt right for the first time in forever. “You know, she’s probably going to press charges on me. She was calling the cops.”
“You should press charges against her! She was trespassing in your house! For the second time!”
“Yeah, good point. Isn’t there a law that if someone is in your house without your permission you can rough em up a bit?”
“I’m not sure, but I don’t think you did anything wrong. She wouldn’t leave when you asked her to.”
I wanted to believe that it would be ok, but I knew that they would see me as the bad guy here.
“This feels right, doesn’t it?” she said to me.
“Yeah, it does.”
“I hate how everyone around us is always trying to ruin what we have. I wish we could run away. I wish we could just run away to Mexico together.”
I wished we could too, but I knew that we couldn’t. Though the fact that the thought was in her head made me feel better. We lay in the bushes letting those thoughts run through our minds for another half hour, and then we snuck back into my house and my room. We had sex and I positioned her so that her legs were on my shoulders. She told me to stop. She had disliked that position for a while now, but she hadn’t always hated it. I asked why.
“Because, that’s the position he used.”
I stopped completely. That comment drove it all home. It seemed to embody everything that had gone wrong in our relationship. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I slid off and curled up next to her, looked away, and cried. I cried so hard that I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to cry until I was dead. She hugged me from behind and stroked my hair, and as I started to calm down I laid my head between her breasts and sobbed quietly.
I took Jen home and when I got back to my house two cops and my dad were waiting for me. They took me to the station and booked me for assault charges and underage drinking.
***
Driving back from the therapy session the blue summer skies looked like heaven descending on earth. I knew what I had to do and I was excited to do it, and extremely nervous, but I also knew what we had been through so far. I had faith in our love.
Since we had been together again Jen and I started a tradition of meeting in parks. I couldn’t take the risk of being caught in her house anymore because I could be sent to jail, and my mom had threatened to kick me out of my house if I ever brought Jen over. So Jen would meet me a block away from her house and then we would drive to the park where we had met to reconcile. I would bring blankets and pillows and we would make camp in the sand around the swings. We would usually lie there for a couple hours. First we would just talk until we were ready for sex. We would lie on our sides and she would face away from me while I held her from behind. Once she said, “I love how I can always tell when you’re ready to have sex,” because whenever I got hard in that position she could feel it on her backside.
I gave Jen her first orgasm of our relationship in that park. For a while I had thought that I gave it to her in the beginning, but I was wrong. She had lied to me even though I asked her not to. Whenever I asked if she came she always said yes, not wanting to hurt my feelings. Then, during one of our breakups, she had called me up begging me back. I gave her the indifferent treatment and she turned nasty. She started telling me that I never made her happy and that every time we had had sex she never, not once, had an orgasm. Then she hung up.
So when we got back together I tried harder than ever and our first time back at it she came. I knew she came because I didn’t have to ask if she did.
We usually fell asleep in the park and woke up to the first signs of light painting the sky.
***
Even after being arrested I couldn’t stay away from Jen. The cops told me that a restraining order had been placed that prevented me from coming within 100 ft of Cathy or Jen. I was also not allowed to attempt to make any sort of contact with either of them.
The night after I was arrested Jen begged me to come over. She wasn’t allowed out but she wanted me to sneak in. She said to come over at 12:30 and if it were safe she would put 2 star stickers on her window. If it were not safe she would put 1 star. I was scared to go but I couldn’t say no. I showed up and saw 2 stars, knocked on the window, and snuck into the room. We were deathly quiet and pulled the blankets over our heads to whisper to each other. I snuck out around 3:30 am after a night of nervous conversation and sex.
Jen wouldn’t see me during the days for some reason. She spent them “on break.” She would be with her friends or with other guys. I couldn’t understand it. I would ask her to meet me and she would say that she couldn’t leave, but then she would call me and say that she was going out with some guys so if I tried to get a hold of her and she wasn’t home, that was why. Some nights I would sneak into her house and we would play music to cover the noise of my presence, and some nights she would go out and drink with a group of guys in her grade that had money, saying I couldn’t come since I was a year older. A couple times Cathy searched Jen’s room while I was there, but for some reason she never looked under the bed, where I always hid.
I told my parents that I had broken up with Jen but they didn’t believe me. They were worried to death that I would get caught and arrested for sneaking around with her, but there was no stopping me. I couldn’t even stop myself.
But the “break” was killing me. Sometimes Jen was completely in love with me and treated me like things were back to perfect, and other times I felt like an unwanted ex boyfriend who was bugging her. After about 3 weeks of dealing with it I couldn’t go on. I called her up and told her that she needed to make a choice. We could either be official, boyfriend and girlfriend again, or we could be nothing at all, but a break wouldn’t cut it. I saw a break was a way to look for a new partner while keeping the old one on the line for insurance. I told her so. And she told me that she wasn’t ready for a real relationship yet.
“Then I can’t be with you anymore. I can’t take it. I just can’t. Please, do me a favor, and don’t call me, email me, IM me, send friends to talk to me, nothing. This is going to be hard enough. At least be kind enough to let me try and forget you without constant reminders.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Please try.”
I said goodbye for what I thought would be the last time and then I went out and bought a new computer game and rented a pile of movies. The next day I moved my room downstairs, into the basement.
***
I watched Jen walking up the street with a large blanket wrapped around her. She opened it up and it looked like a cape. I was grinning like a madman. I had been since the second I saw her. I could see a smile on her face. It felt so good to smile at the sight of someone, and to have them do the same for you.
I walked up to Jen and wrapped her in my arms, picked her up and spun in a circle. We went to my car and got in, and I drove off, heading to a park. I wanted a change so we ended up driving around Boulder for a bit, looking for a good park to lie out in. Eventually we settled on Scott Carpenter. I parked the car in a back lot and we trekked out with our blankets and pillows. We found a hidden spot behind a tree and near a picnic table. This park was a bit more public and visited and I was worried about being spotted, so we tried to stay hidden.
I had decided that I would tell her the truth about what happened with Cindy tonight, but I wanted to wait until after we had sex. I was a bit worried that this would all go horribly and she would dump me and we would never be together again, and if that happened I didn’t want to pass up my last chance to have sex with her. And it wasn’t about just getting laid, it was because I never felt closer to her than when we were making love. I loved how we talked first and led into it, and then laid in bliss afterwards. I wanted to be sure to experience that one more time before I possibly lost our relationship.
As we cuddled under the blankets and talked I started to consider not telling her. I began to realize what I was going to lose if this went wrong, and the chance of it going wrong seemed to keep growing. Then we made love, and she was on top. Usually I was on top and had control and was able to keep from cumming quickly because I regulated the pace. But this time she had that power and she got me off quickly. I was ready to keep going with my mostly hard on, even though it hurt to keep going like that, when the sprinklers turned on right next to us. The first burst was aimed directly at us and we were drenched before we had a chance to react. We both started laughing and quickly got up. We ran over to the picnic table, which was out of the sprinklers shooting path.
“Ah shit, the blankets,” I said, and ran back and grabbed them. She was upset that the sprinklers had come on because she wasn’t done yet, and I feigned disappointment, but in reality was glad that they had turned on.
We were happy though. And this was a funny moment, something to laugh about forever. We were both smiling broadly and I took her hand. I decided that it was now or never, that I had to tell her, I shouldn’t delay it anymore. Seeing her so happy and knowing that it was in a sense based off of a lie made me feel like a fake. I couldn’t believe I had lied to her, and again I hated myself for doing it.
She saw that I was disturbed and asked what was wrong.
“I need to tell you something Jen. I feel horrible about it, and I’m scared out of my mind to tell you, but we’ve started this relationship again and I want to do it right. I want us to be honest with each other, always. So, I need to come clean with you.” I clenched her hand tightly, savoring the feel of it in case it was the last time I held it. “Today you asked me about a Texan girl. I told you that Joe was full of shit.”
She pulled her hand out of my grip, not needing to hear the rest, and I felt like I had been shot, but I kept talking.
“I lied. There was a Texan girl. After Rita I was with a girl who just moved into town from Texas. I met her online. We hung out one night and got drunk together. We were in my room and we were naked, but we didn’t have sex. That’s what happened. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I saw how hard it was for you to hear about Rita and I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. I should have told you but I was scared that if I did you wouldn’t get back together with me. And I should have told you earlier today, and there is no excuse for that. I’m a coward. So I’m telling you now in hope that we can get past this. I love you Jen. I really do.”
I could tell by the look on her face that she was really hurt. Halfway through my speech I couldn’t look at her anymore, I felt so ashamed. I looked at my feet as I talked and I heard her fighting back tears, and I started fighting back tears of my own.
“Jen, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Please. I don’t know what I will do if you can’t forgive me,” I said as I looked back up at her face.
“How can I trust you? How can I know that this is it? How do I know that I won’t find out about another girl in a week?”
“No, no, no no no. There is no one else. I swear. I promise. Please, don’t think that way. I know I messed up, I know it, but it won’t happen again. Please babe, don’t let this end us.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe you lied to me about this. I can’t believe you got with two girls. I can’t believe you had sex with Rita! You must not really love me if you can go out and get with all these girls so easily!”
At this point I was crying lightly. I said, through tears, “No, please don’t think like that. It’s wrong. I love you so much babe. I was trying to get over you the only way I knew how, but they didn’t do anything for me, they just made me more depressed because they didn’t compare to you! Please. Please…”
“I just don’t know.”
I tried to grab her hand again and she scooted away from me. I felt helpless. I turned around and laid my head in my hands on top of the table. We sat at the table for what felt like a long time, silent. I wanted to go back to 15 minutes ago when we were closer than ever, having sex and being sprayed by a sprinkler. I couldn’t believe that we had been that close so recently and now we weren’t talking.
Eventually I got myself together enough to talk to her again.
“So what do we do now?”
“Can we go back to the car.”
“Yeah babe. Go ahead, I’ll bring the stuff.”
She walked ahead to the car as I gathered the blankets, wondering if this was it. It sure seemed like this was it.
At the car she was sitting in the passenger seat. I got in and turned the engine on.
“Where to? You want me to take you home?”
“No, not yet. I just want to drive.”
“Ok,” I said, and put the car into drive. I looked over at her and thought about how I was sitting less than 5 ft away from the most beautiful girl in the world, and that I might never get to touch her again. I drove back towards her house and then headed up into the hills. There was a spot we had gone to talk before near her house, an empty lot on top of a hill overlooking the city. I drove there without talking, and parked so that we could face the view.
“I’m tired,” Jen said, and she reclined the seat all the way down. “I just want to get some sleep.”
“Ok girl. Ok.”
I sat in my chair and looked at her. She curled up into a little ball and turned away from me. I felt like crying but I couldn’t get any tears out. It hurt to have them inside. I didn’t want to go on if she didn’t want to go on with me. I didn’t want to go on alone. I looked at her and willed for her to turn around and look back. I willed for her to forgive me and love me again. I willed for her to acknowledge my existence. She laid there like a cat, and looked the other way. I crossed my arms and couldn’t understand how I could feel so alone when she was sitting right next to me.
When it was obvious that she was asleep I reclined my chair and dozed off.
***
I woke up to the sun rising. I knew it was time to go. Jen was still asleep, curled up in a cute ball. I prepared myself to give her the last ride I would ever give her. I thought about touching her, stroking her hair, but didn’t feel worthy of it. I leaned forward and started the engine.
The noise woke her up and she sat up rubbing her eyes. She seemed disoriented. When she saw me she leaned across the seats and hugged me tightly. I caught a glimpse of her face and saw tears in her eyes.
“I will never be able to leave you, no matter what you do. Never…”
I hugged her back, surprised at what she had said. I heard her beginning to cry.
“I love you Jen. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you,” I said, starting to cry myself.
I held her for a long time. I held her and knew that I could never leave her either, no matter how hard I tried.
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