"...believe me, I eat this shit up..."
-YourRoleModel
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| Catch Up to Break Up, Revisited | | | Author: | | | IP: | 209-234-XXXX | | Date: | 03/02/03 09:03 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 0, Max: , Min:
Lifetime Rating for The Writer: | | We are all aware of this horrible excuse for a battlereport, right?
http://www.battlereports.com/viewreports.php?reportnum=5365
Good, I am glad to see we are on the same page. Well I decided the ending to this story sucked and lacked any meaning whatsoever. So I decided to add one last paragraph with all my heart and soul poured into it in order to prove that Tony (The guy who wrote this) is a fool. Without further adeiu, here is, the meaingful ending:
Little did they know that they were just stupid kids who had no idea what love was. The only thing they “loved” about each other was their special places. There is no denying this. The constant reminders of her “amazing ass” is proof enough that Tony was only after the sex. A 16 and a 15 year old can’t legally have sex or drink or do drugs any way. This story is nothing but pointless drivel about how teenagers do illegal crap every single day and there’s no way to stop it. They have no idea what they’re talking about, either. “I love you.”? No you don’t, you need to add five words to the end of it to make that true: “I love you when you’re submissive and naked.” There we are. Perfect. I hope Tony realizes the error of his ways, and that this experience hasn’t helped him at all. I highly doubt he’s going to any good schools right now because he has missed at least half a year of school for the love of God. Tony and Jen don’t know what love is, nor will they ever know what it is. It is truly pathetic hearing them talk about love like they’re adults. And, if I might add, Jen is quite the slut, and Tony is quite naive for thinking Jen was actually raped. Given Jen’s history, I think its quite obvious Jen was submissive and begged for the sex from that college boy. See you later, everyone. May Tony and Jen rot in hell for their horrible, horrible lives.
Well, that's it. But then I thought, wait. That's pretty stupid in and of itself. How come I just popped right into the story in order to give my amazingly intelligent comments on the horrible piece of literature? I decided to go the way of Shakespeare and get rid of my above paragraph of truth. I decided it was best to elminate the final part of the story and replace it with my own. This, my friends, will give the story substance. Get ready to be blown away by my, original, pointful ending.
First, here is the ending that Tony the playa typed, how I loathe him:
I woke up to the sun rising. I knew it was time to go. Jen was still asleep, curled up in a cute ball. I prepared myself to give her the last ride I would ever give her. I thought about touching her, stroking her hair, but didn’t feel worthy of it. I leaned forward and started the engine.
The noise woke her up and she sat up rubbing her eyes. She seemed disoriented. When she saw me she leaned across the seats and hugged me tightly. I caught a glimpse of her face and saw tears in her eyes.
“I will never be able to leave you, no matter what you do. Never…”
I hugged her back, surprised at what she had said. I heard her beginning to cry.
“I love you Jen. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you,” I said, starting to cry myself.
I held her for a long time. I held her and knew that I could never leave her either, no matter how hard I tried.
Urgh, makes me want to puke about how pathetic that ending is. Its worse than Godfather 3! But anyway, Lets not get bogged down in whats worse than what. Here is my ending that gives a horrible story, a little substance:
I woke up with the sun just showing itself over the horizon. I knew it was time to go. In the back seat of my car, Jen was still sleeping in a cute little ball. I knew Jen was still angry, I could tell by her facial expression. Even when she was sleeping. I knew that yet another breakup was imminent, and that this one will definitely be the last.
There was no hope for this to work out. I will lose her and she will fall in love with somebody else. I will never find someone as good as her. Never, ever, ever. I sat there looking at her sleep. And then, I had an idea. This idea was probably the greatest I ever had. I started the car and began driving.
The sound of the engine woke her up. By the time Jen knew where she was the car was blazing full speed down the rode.
"What's going on? Are you driving me home?" She asked, still sleepy.
"No, Jen. I'm not taking you home. We're going to a better place. Together."
"Are we going to Mexico?" She asked, very excited, obviously.
"No."
She sat in silence and wonder as I turned the car abrupty to the right. My town had a huge canyon in the center of it. It was the town's claim to fame. I knew this is where I wanted us to go. And stay.
The Samantha Canyon sign was just ahead. It told me to turn left, which I gladly obeyed. The cliff was in view now.
The car was still going full speed towards the Canyon, and Jen was obviously getting worried.
"Tony, slow down! We're going to fall right into that canyon!"
"I know, Jen, I know."
She started to shriek.
"LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!"
"Jen," I started to say in a very calming voice, "This is the best thing for us. For our love. We're going to die together, and meet again in heaven. Our lives will be wonderful and we shall be together forever."
"TONY YOU'RE MAD! LET ME OUT YOU SICKO! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"
I stopped the car and locked the doors. I turned around very slowly to see her shaking violently.
"What did you say?"
"I SAID LET ME OUT I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! I HATE YOU! YOU'RE INSANE!" Her yelling was beginning to pierce my ear drums.
At this point I was blind with rage. How could she have said this to me? After everything I had done for her? I quickly got up out of my seat and climbs into the back next to her.
I grabbed her by the neck and started to squeeze it.
"TELL ME YOU LOVE ME, JEN! TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!"
Jen could barely talk, I was strangeling her so hard. Her hands began clawing at my back, but I didn't care. I didn't know what came over me, but I continued to squeeze her neck, I needed to. I don't know why but this made me feel better about her hating me forever.
"Tony...."She began in a faint voice, "I...I......I..." She stopped. Her whole body was limp. I had killed her.
I had killed Jen. The only girl I had ever loved besided those other ones. Suddenly the madness left my body, and I was once again Tony, only without my Jen. She was gone, killed by the demon that possessed my body. What have I done?
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?" I yelled at the top of my lungs. My head fell on her bosom and I began to weep. My whole life flashed before my eyes. It was only after a good long cry that I realized my life was ruined. I was a murderer. And I was going to jail for the rest of my life. I didn't want that.
I looked out over the canyon. I didn't think, I just knew I couldn't live this life anymore. I grabbed Jen's limp corpse and carried it into the front seat with me. I squeezed it as hard as I could around the torso.
"I love you, Jen. May we meet again in the next life." I wispered into her lifeless ear. I turned the car on and pushed the gas pedal.
There. Now is that so bad? We learn alot from the story then, and the story actually has a climax! This could be turned into a play now that it was a good ending to it. This could be this century's Romeo and Juliet for crying out loud. If Tony is reading this and you would like to talk about my amazing ending, please drop a line. FatCat7890@aol.com. Email me there. Until then, I must fly into the wind!
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