"Dref is the hindu word for bologna and sab is the swami word for sandwich"
- Drefsab
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| Shit Went Down So I Took a Picture | | | Author: | | | IP: | theangelXXXX | | Date: | 09/15/03 05:09 | | Game Type: | Warcraft 3 | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 3, Max: 8, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for TheAngel: 7.3333 |   |
Once again, I return to bring you my first real battlereport. There are no legos, no stalking, no commentaries, and no Epoch spamming in this report! Nothing but epic 2v2 action against 4 mighty combatants is contained herein. So prepare yourself for more action than you'll find in your slutty sister's bedroom! Hold on to your chair, this could get a little rough.
The Magic Ladder System chose to select two level 9 teams to face off on the battleground known as Twisted Meadows. Arcaln got his chosen Orc at the southeast mine while his partner Outkast got his chosen human in the southwest. TheAngel randomed to Night Elf in the northeast which complemented his partner CattleBruiser's chosen Undead in the northwest. Henceforth, Arcaln and Outkast will be spelled with blue lettering while CattleBruiser and TheAngel will be red. This is so the easily confused people who like to listen to Snoop Dogg don't get confused.
Unfortunately, with the Frozen Throne expansion pack came a completely opposite way to play 2v2 games. No longer is it acceptable for one or both team members to tech fast. If you wish to win, you absolutely must start with tier one units. Otherwise, the other team will crush you with a rush because towers are now no match for the beefed up tier one units. So, knowing this, Arcaln starts with an altar/burrow/barracks build and Outkast gets an altar, a barracks, and two farms. They are obviously going to creep/rush with footmen and grunts while they make the slow upgrade to other complementary units. CattleBruiser does a fiend build which are an extremely good tier one unit. TheAngel gets two Ancients of War and begins pumping huntresses. All four players choose the all time most chosen hero for each of their races, namely, Arcaln gets a farseer, Outkast gets an archmage, CattleBruiser gets a death knight, and TheAngel gets a demon hunter.
Outkast begins creeping the easy green dotted creeps to the right of his base while TheAngel sends his demon hunter down to the southeast. He spots Arcaln's army of a farseer and a grunt and realizes that there's nothing to be gained by going to harass the orc base. Instead, he burns the farseer and immediately runs away. This surprised Arcaln who had already loaded up a burrow with four wood peons. The score so far: TheAngel: 50 mana - loss of wood/Arcaln: 15 hp.
Arcaln immediately moves out to creep the harder gnolls near his base because he doesn't know the demon hunter is merely doing a circle and is coming back his way. Outkast was moving his small force to creep the gnolls near his base and then moving to meet his partner for more creeping and then perhaps a rush. CattleBruiser is rushing to help his ally in his harass with a death knight and two fiends. The demon hunter runs into Arcaln creeping the gnolls. Arcaln is much too scared of this lone demon hunter and continues to overreact by pulling all his units back. Once he's out of range of the creeps, Arcaln turns and begins to fight the mana burning demon hunter. However, TheAngel simply burns and runs again, buying time until his partner can reach him and help in the creep jack. Also, his first huntress joins his demon hunter while he's running away.
It's just not to be for TheAngel and CattleBruiser, however, as Outkast runs in to help his partner. Realizing the force is too big to face, TheAngel calls a retreat. He doesn't simply run away, though, and continues to damage the grunts and kill a wolf chasing them. Fiends and huntresses are healed back at TheAngel's base and immiedately move out again. TheAngel checks each likely creeping point in the hope of creep jacking the larger enemy army. What can I say? TheAngel likes to jack shit.
Everyone but TheAngel is midway through their tier two upgrade by now and Outkast has switched from footmen to riflemen. TheAngel and CattleBruiser don't manage to catch their opponents creeping but they do intercept them right after they've finished creeping a red dotted location. The battle is microed excellently by everyone but TheAngel. Two footmen and two grunts are traded for five huntresses. Once again, the underdog team retreats back to TheAngel's base. TheAngel takes this brief pause in the game to throw a koolaid container across the room.
Arcaln and Outkast follow them into TheAngel's base. Arcaln has added a mercenary hero, the naga seawitch, to his army. However, though TheAngel seems unable to keep his units alive, he is capable of clicking on his Ancients of War and hitting "h" so his army is still quite strong. Rather than fight a losing battle in an NE base, Arcaln and Outkast retreat out. TheAngel and CattleBruiser give chase, killing a straggling grunt and then surrounding and annihilating the naga seawitch. Both of their heroes finally get level two off of these kills but Outkast and Arcaln have been at level two for some time and both have second heroes. It is important to remember that, up to this point, TheAngel and CattleBruiser have done zero creeping. TheAngel finally begins his tier two upgrade while CattleBruiser gets a Slaughterhouse for statues. Outkast adds to Arcane Sanctums for casters to his base.
Rather than fight in the Orc base, TheAngel decides to go to the human location and pings Outkast's base. Both players run their armies towards the small, resonating pink exclamation point to the sound of "pppiiiiiiiing". They arrive in time to prevent the construction of the second Arcane Sanctum. Outkast chooses to run to his base while Arcaln teleports in. It might of seemed a good idea to teleport in front of the advancing forces but TheAngel had already repositioned so when he dropped in, Arcaln found himself completely surrounded by enemy troops. Outkast frantically runs up the hill into his base to help his besieged ally but the farseer dies before he arrives. Outkast gets his naga seawitch out a few seconds after the battle commences but TheAngel quickly surrounds it and kills it once again.
The battle is hot like Ricky Martin right from the start. The battle is microed absolutely efficiently by all sides and about 15% of the battle is just repositioning. It is quickly apparent that TheAngel and CattleBruiser have the advantage due to the two early hero deaths and this is punctuated even further with the death of Outkast's archmage. This astounding battle lasts a FULL four minutes but Arcaln and Outkast slowly regain the advantage by killing CattleBruiser death knight and TheAngel is finally forced to teleport his 25 hp demon hunter.
I consulted my battlereporting handbook and it told me to do a quick update now so that's what I'm going to do. Prepare for an update. Okay, here we go. CattleBruiser has a level three death knight and a level two lich. His army consists of six 1-1 fiends and a statue. TheAngel has a level four demon hunter and a level one warden. His army consists of six 0-0 huntresses and one druid of the talon. Arcaln has some units. They are a level two farseer, a level two naga seawitch, and four grunts. Outkast is pimping six 0-0 riflemen, a spellbreaker, and an archmage and a blood mage that are both level three. Okay, I'm ending the update now. It's ended.
TheAngel heals his army and then skadizzles over to CattleBruiser's base to prepare for another push. "TheAngel: 'We have to go back or we lose.'" And so the final climatic battle for supremacy begins! Who will win? The obsessive compulsive clicker and the bovine raper or the societal rebel and meaningless name boy? I'm going to tell you.
TheAngel initially positions himself poorly and loses his warden to focus fire. CattleBruiser is much more successful in his positioning and is raping the bitches from the side. TheAngel loses pretty much his entire force but manages to keep a very low hp demon hunter alive. Arcaln makes newb mistake #1 and runs after with his grunts, stringing them along in a line which is ever so happliy raped by his opponents. DON'T CHASE THE DAMN HERO THROUGH ANOTHER ARMY. Outkast does the best he can to try to win the battle by calling up militia and sending his archmage and riflemen into the back of his base where he has more cover but it's not to be. CattleBruiser just has too many units left and Outkast and Arcaln are forced to concede the game.
To conclude, we fucked some shit up! GG to Arcaln and Outkast, it was truly an amazing game. Throughout the entire game, CB and I killed 0 creeps. How fucking awesome is that shit? It was like, boom, battle. BOOM BOOM, another battle. BAZAM, battle. SKILLILLZ. Here are the scores, my peeps.
And a completely new way to finish a BR! Actions per minute stats!
Visit my website at www.warsmith.org/angel/. It's actually hosted by Shogibear but figured I'd give Warsmith some props since Ling was nice enough to make that link transfer. Peace out fellas.
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