TIMBERMAW HOLD

Fs.Gorducho is very, very radioactive as his Pink Humans march into position in the top right position. Despite having such a horrible colour, he is still the best player in this game. He will be refered to as Gord in pink.

DeMoN_LoCk's Blue-clad Greenskins pop into the map in the top left corner. Lucky him, that means his teammates will be taking the heat. He's be Lock in Blue .

Brute and his camoflauged Night Elves emerge from the woods in the top left spot. Does the "X" over his symbol at the top tell you anything? He is Brute in green. . At least for a while.

THE SEXY SIDE (AKA Team 2)

I, Cragspyder, am quite a n00b to TFT as well as battle reporting. This game had me in the front lines and on the edge of my seat quite a lot, probably because there was hardly any usage of TFT additions, so I knew what the hell was going on. What was there, however, allowed me to see how much difference they make to the game. I'll be Spyder in purple. I'm Night Elf on the bottom left side.

Me hombre, ElvenMoon , and his piss-yellow Humies jump into the fray in the bottom left corner. He's my hombre 'cause he was the best player on our team. Go him. He'll be Elven in yellow .

After a brief discussion of strategy, Team 2 begins to build their starting buildings. Spyder starts with the all-too-original Altar-Well-AOW build, whereas Elven opts for the more-unorthodox Altar-Farm-Farm-Barracks strategy. leo, on the other hand, decides his teammates own and so neglects to build an AOW at all, secure in his wisp microing skills. Leo is trying to fast-tech to Mountain Giants, with Dryads as his ranged attacker. Elven intends to form the piss-yellow rifle corps, and Spyder is making archers, for now.

On the other side of the map, Gord starts with a Altar, Barracks, and Farm, starts pumping footmen, then pans over to his allies to see how they're doing. Lock has made an altar and a burrow, and Brute....WTF N00b! Brute has made a single moonwell. This is all he has. I can only imagine what Gord was thinking when he saw this. Maybe Brute thought Moon well energy could do damage. Or something.

After a few intense seconds of building, it is obvious that Elven and Gord have the better builds, with Gord producing an angry, pink Blood Mage, and Elven whipping up an Archmage (talk about coincidence!). Spyder is not far behind with his evil-looking Demon Hunter, and, of course, Lock produces a Shadow Hunter to make sure everyone matches up personality-wise.....Leo sends off a wisp to the northern tavern for a Pit Lord, but it strays too close to a few Furbolgs and barely escapes. And finally, Brute starts his altar so late that he starts his own Demon Hunter at about when everyone else's heros finish. A early well and a late altar...a devious plan indeed.

Gord gets the "First Army Unit" award as he begins to mass footies. He then creeps the wolves near Lock, who helps out with his Shadow Hunter and then promptly...steals Gord's Tomb of Intelligence. Jerk. Brute still can't help because he has no units, although there is a Hunter's Hall growing at his base... not that it would have helped. The two players with attacking units send their forces to the south wolves, where Lock steals the Tomb again. Jerk.

Team 2 decides to creep a bit differently from Team 1. First, Spyder send his guys all over the southern map edge looking for his wolves...which don't exist because the people at Blizzard placed them too close to his spawn. Imbalance! The whole team then gangs up and dishs out some serious anger management to the lizards at the Fountain of Health. The purple DH grabs some Scourge Bone Chimes (who knows why?) and Elven's Archmage levels thanks to reading a Tomb of Experience.

The mad creeping continues (I don't find creeping as boring as most people on this site do). Team 1 creeps the top wolves (Gord finally gets his rightfully earned Tomb), then creep the Murlocs guarding the merchant. Lock picks up some slippers +3 for his SH, and Brute cheaply grabs a potion of greater healing. Team 2 creeps the Southeastern Furbolg mine, with Elven grabbing the Tomb of Intel and the Replenishment potion.

Update: Not very exciting so far, right? Team 1 has the bigger army by far, as Brute has finally started building...Mass Hunts. Go figure. Gord has a massive bunch of footmen, and Lock is getting mass Headhunters after building 1 Grunt. Team 2 is at a disadvantage, though they don't know it yet. Spyder has a smattering of hunts and archers, Elven has a few riflemen, and leo only has his Pit Lord (he's still waiting for his Ancients Of Lore to build).

Moving along now... Team 1 grabs the Furbolgs north of center, with every hero leveling and Brute getting a Manual of Health and a Greater Healing Potion. Lock's headhunter squadron starts to head towards the center...just as Team 2 approachs from the other side. However, by an urgent need to keep the game uninteresting, Lock turns away and Team 1 creeps their angry,angry fountain instead, leaving Team 2 the pleasure of creeping the whole center area. Rewards: Gord gets a Tomb of Intel and a Sobi Mask from the Leezards, Elven gets a ring of regen, a tomb (of something, he grabbed it too fast) and a manual of health, Spyder gets Claws of Attack + 9, and everyone on Team 2 gets levels.

Team 1 creeps the eastern furbolgs, Team 2 the southern...see where this is headed? After gleaning another mystery tomb and a wand of lightning shield for Elven, and a Replenishment potion and a Manual of Health for Gord, the two Teams arrive on opposite sides of the Southern Island, creeping satyrs...A Cloak and a level for Gord and a level for Lock, and a Mantle +3 for Spyder and a level for leo. The two teams then head towards the other side, each unaware of the other...A battle is unavoidable...or is it?

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for!

(Drum roll, please) ................

You can see by Team 2's lag chat buffer that they had decided to run away anyways. Shaken by the loss of one of their number, the remains of Team 1 retreat as well. So there is no battle.

Aw, Crap.

Midgame Mayhem

Just kidding, there is a battle. Team 2, thinking that they now have the advantage, beings mass producing units. leo finally starts his Mountain Giants and Dryads, Spyder begins his Taming research and building of Hippogryphs, and Elven pumps some more stunties. Little did they know, however, that the loss of a crappy player can be a blessing, not a curse...

Spyder creeps his center wolves(all but forgotten until now) but forgets his Tomb of Intelligence. Probably because he was about to be raped up the ass.

Team 1 begins pushing into Spyder's Base with footies, a few priests, huntresses and headhunters, as well as the Pink Bloodmage, the Green Demon Hunter, the Blue Shadow Hunter and a brand-spanking new Blue Pit Lord. Spyder is left defending his base with hunts, archers, two ancient protectors, a summoning POTM, and a few hippo riders. leo has mountain giants but he's not in place for the attack, and Elven, regenerating his rifles at the fountain, goes for a flank.

Pandemonium and casualities ensue. Team 1's army is "pincered" in between Spyder's defensive wall and Elven's flank. However, since Team 1 has about a third more guys then Team 2, this could be interesting. Lock's new Pit Lord is the first to fall before focused rifle fire, and Blizzard hurts the massed forces of Team 1, who have nowhere to run amid the closely-packed trees. However, as the latter third of the attacking army breaks off to attack the flank, and with his Archmage already at low health from Headhunter spears, Elven pulls his bloodied forces back to the fountain, with huntresses and trolls in hot pursuit.

On the frontlines, pink footmen and green huntresses are clashing with Spyder's fragile line. Spyder holds them off until a Flamestrike from Gord forces a retreat of Spyder's Demon Hunter, causing enemies to spill over and surround the few remaining defenders. However, Spyder's Priestess of the Moon jumps off of the Altar ready for vengance, and who is that angry, red guy coming up from behind? Spyder's heros and macroed forces (few as they are) rush to hold back Team 1's evil forces. Another flamestrike catches the purple Demon Hunter as he charges, however, and he screams his anger to the sky before collapsing.

Spyder begins resurrection immediately. Don't you love that?

Back at the fountain, Elven's Archmage puts up a stiff resistance and evades death, as Gord and Lock marshall their forces to face the new threat... leo. Large, well-muscled towers of stone shamble in with big tree trunks and start swinging, and leo's Pit Lord calls down fire from the sky. Many die on Team 1's side. However, with Elven temporarily out of action, Team 2 is still outnumbered....badly.

The red Pit Lord quickly falls facing the Bloodmage and the Shadow Hunter, and the army of Team 2 is pushed back. Despite Spyder's POTM hopping into every moonwell in the base, and leo's new Demon Hunter arriving from the east, the battle looks hopeless. Soon, only the two heros, a dryad and a Mountain Giant are left fighting.

Team 2's Micromanagement contines at a furious pace, but the inevitable occurs. leo's DH bites it, and Spyder's POTM (his only remaining unit) flees back into the base a little for a last stand.

BUT WAIT!

Elven's Archmage comes charging back with half health and assorted macroed footmen and blizzards the remaining forces of Team 1 (a few huntresses and berserkers, as well as all the heros). He then boots it again as all three enemy heros come after him, chasing him away. But his valiant stand was not in vain, for death incarnate stepped down from the Purple Altar...just kidding, its just a pissed DH out for some blood. Macroed forces also appeared to stand by the Demon Hunter's side, and suddenly...it wasn't looking so good for Team 1 anymore. They correctly decide to go home.

Too late.

(deep breath)

Team 2 struggles to recover from the blow they have just been dealt, though they all know that they could have fared much worse. In fact, little do they know that their forces now outnumber the forces of Team 1...ahhh, hindsight is 20/20. Spyder begins to recover his shattered army (although not a single tech building was lost....). But he does still get his Tomb of Intel for the wolves (lol.)

Update: In the aftermath of the battle, everyone begins to build and tech again. On Team 1's side, the heros revive and spend their newfound skill points (The Bloodmage leveled twice and the others once). Lock begins production of wyverns, master shamans and tauren (all of which he built during the fight instead of microing his men), while Gord starts building knights and master priests. They don't care enough about Brute's base to tech it so they leave him with mass hunts. On Team 2's side, Spyder mounts archers on hippogryphs and leo builds more mountain giants and dryads. Elven sticks with his tried-and-true riflemen. Spyder's POTM and Elven's Archmage both leveled twice, while the purple Demon Hunter leveled once. Poor leo's heros didn't level at all.

Oh yeah. Lock and Gord expanded, too. Smart, that. Lock's exp is on the west side of the map and Gord's exp is north of center.

Team 2 discusses and agrees on expansion hunting (unfortunately, not right away, which cost them big). At least, they thought they agreed. Leo decided to go and creep the northern satyrs instead (losing his newly-revived Demon Hunter again in the process, althought his Pit Lord does level). A stray green Huntress warns Gord and Lock and so, when Spyder and Elven attack with their pitifully small forces, they are waiting for them. Team 2's forces are slaughtered.

Only Spyder's heros escape from the massacre. They are pursued closely by Lock's Pit Lord all the way back home. Spyder expanded to the South Side mine just before the attack, and now he cringes to watch Team 1's entire replenished army walk nonchalantely right by it...Elven also expanded to the lower southwestern mine just before the attack. leo makes up for his mistake by wreaking Gord's expansion, then boots it home because history was about to repeat itself...Team 1 had attacked Spyder's base again.

Team 1 spilts up. Gord heads for the fountain to attack Elven's rifles (Elven's Archmage is dead) while Lock and some of Brute's men head into Spyder's base. This time Spyder is completely outmatched, and his heroes only take out the Blue Pit Lord between them before dying. Gord, on the other hand, is in trouble as leo, with his unblemished MG army, sweeps down from the north. Gord holds for only a few seconds before he town portals out, and Lock, faces with leo and Elven's army and no allies, does the same. Spyder is saved once again from a shameful death. Very few casualties on both sides: Spyder's heros, Lock's pitlord, and some assorted knights, trolls and riflemen.

leo and Elven's forces reassemble at the Fountain of Health to heal, while Spyder frantically builds and raises his POTM. Team 1's forces, fully replenished after about 30 seconds of building, assembled at the gold mine south of center and begin hunting for expansions westward. leo, who had just expanded to fill his MG making needs, is the first to suffer and his expansion is destroyed before he can even cancel it. Team 1's forces, fresh and confident from their victory, charge south and assemble to finish Team 2...once and for all. Team 1 now has hunts, dryads (Brute was finally teched up by the others), knights, priests, berserkers, wyverns, and tauren. leo's army, moving back to base right at that instant, moves to engage but hesitates as he realizes he is outnumbered 3 to 1, then flees as Lock's Shadow Hunter begins playing funky music and makes his allies invincible. leo arranges his forces in his base to prepare for the onslaught....

leo is left completely on his own as both Elven's rifles and Spyder's hippo riders are attacking from behind. Lock and Brute's forces run into melee with leo's Mountain Giants and the killing begins. Spyder's hippogryph riders focus fire the Shadow Hunter and take him out before he can use healing wave, proceeding to concentrate on Gord's Bloodmage and priests. Elven blizzards Team 1's massed army and is Flamestruck in return, and is forced to fight by the fountain for the upteenth time. leo's Pit lord is surrounded by knights and is stabbed to death.

leo's Mountain Giants, supported by Moonwells, take an incredible amount of hits and dish out mountains of damage, but it is simply not enough. After a Flamestrike from the arrow-dodging Bloodmage, leo's MG's begin to fall one by one. leo's forces manage to crush the green Demon Hunter even as they begin to crumble. Behind the armies, Elven and Spyder's revived POTM are being attacked by assorted macro from Team 1 but they valiantly ignore it in order to take some pressure off leo. Lock's forgotten Pit Lord charges in to stand alongside the Bloodmage, as leo loses all but two of his Mountain Giants. Just when things were looking the worst for Team 2, a combination of Blizzard and focus fire from the Hippogryphs succeeds in killing Lock's Pitlord and reduces Gord's Bloodmage to critical health. With 59 hp left, Gord TPs and Team 2 is left alive for a third time.

Lategame Lameness

Update: leo's MG force has been nearly obliterated, and both his heros are dead. Other then that, Team 2 is relatively intact, with both Spyder and Elven commanding small forces of their respective troops. Gord, however, has macroed well and is nearly ready to attack again, and Lock isn't far behind with his berserkers. Gord also re-expanded to north of center, to replace the exp that leo destroyed earlier. leo also attempts to re-expand to east of centre, but Gord and his knights kill it again. With this tragic loss, leo is broke and his remaining army consists of one remaining MG from the previous battle.

Gord continues his rampage across the map as he intercepts several yellow peasants heading to south center. The Bloodmage levels as he stomps on their corpses. Jerk. He then heads to Elven's exp on the Southern Island. However, Spyder sneaks up on him with his heros and eight hippogryphs and kills most of his priests before Gord falls back, leaving a phoniex behind to toy with Spyder. Gord simply bides his time until Lock catchs up with him, and then assaults the expansion again. Try as they might, not even Spyder's hippos killing the Shadow Hunter as he casts Big Bad Voodoo again and Elven town portalling in from his base can save the poor exp (tear). Only Starfall is sufficient to drive Team 1's army off, but by then the building is reduced to a pile of rubble. Both the Purple Demon Hunter and the Yellow Archmage are killed in the battle.

Attempting to re-expand a final time, Elven maynards his peasants back over to the south island, but this merely adds more peasant kills to Gord's record as he charges west. He finally happens upon Spyder's expansion and annhilates it with Flamestrike and knights despite Spyder's efforts to the contrary. Spyder's hippos almsot kill the Bloodmage: he has to Banish himself in order to save himself.

At this point, the fate of Team 2 is all but sealed. Spyder re-expands to the south side and gives enough money to leo to expand a final time. Spyder, not wanting to die without doing as much damage as possible, attacks Lock's expansion on the west side. He kills peons and towers and TPs out just as Team 1 arrives, but they both know by now that resistance is futile......Both of Team 2's new expansions are ignored as Team 1 heads for the final blow.

The teams meet for a final clash at Team 2's fountain. Spyder has his heros and hippo riders, Elven has his Archmage and a few riflemen and leo has his lone MG. Team 1 has knights, priests, dragonhawks and berserkers. Team 1 surrounds Elven and leo at the Fountain while Spyder focus fires with his hippos, succeeding in killing off the Shadow Hunter a third time as he was casting Big Bad Voodoo (its like painting a bulls-eye on your head.) Though they struggle valiantly, the Archmage, POTM and Mountain Giant fall and the hippos and riflemen soon after. Spyder's Demon Hunter runs back to base, changes into Demon Form, and bathes his enemies in flames until hundreds of spears and blades pierce his demonic hide and send him permenently to the underworld.

Good games are exchanged. Team 1 is the winna!

The next day I played a game much better then this, in that it was much better played and I won it (most importantly). If I get good results from this one I will do another on that game. I appreciate all constructive criticism or compliments you can give me. I know there are too many pictures and many errors but remember, this is my first report. I promise I'll learn from my mistakes :).

Stayed tuned to Br.com for the next episode of this exciting series of BRs. Same Spyder time, same Spyder channel. I'm tired, see ya later. Special thanks to Blizzard for the great game and the pics at the beginning (concept art part of Blizzard.com) and br.com for interesting me in this.

If anyone really wants the replay or wants to talk to me please e-mail me at turboman336@hotmail.com. I would include the replay here but I don't know how. Gl to you all.