"I can't write [battlereports] like this too often, or my wife and Great Dane/Dobermann mix puppy are gonna hang me by my nuts."
-YourRoleModel
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| ME vs crappy bro | | | Author: | | | IP: | 61.173.4XXXX | | Date: | 03/11/04 05:03 | | Game Type: | Warcraft 3 | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 3, Min: 3
Lifetime Rating for PaLiDANz: 3.0000 |  | Battle Report: ME vs Crappy Bro
Hi I am new at this kinda crap, so new that if my middle name wasn¡¦t something gay like ¡§Robin¡¨ it would be ¡§n00b¡¨ heh which is to say, still pretty dumb. Anyway, I am very low leveled, considering I read battlereports and most guys in it have leve 15- 20 ish files ƒ¼ I am level six and btw I have of course more losses than wins, yes I should be renamed ¡§n00b of the year¡¦ hehehe.
Anywayz....
The players:
PaLiDANz: This is ME!!! yah me! I¡¦m really bad if you look at my % of win...
AssassinBlood: My friends Bro, He just kicked my Friends ass, and My friend, his brother wants me to kick his ass ƒ¼ uh oh... (If that is confusing you, I dunno what will!)
Okay the map: Two Rivers
Comments: ah yes the beautiful river of this map make the bridges vital in controlling! If you are blocked in, say good night sistah! ļ
Okay... so at this point I should really start with build orders, and I will. My self start off by choosing the orcs and AssassinBlood going for the ¡§I love to rush and annoy!¡¨ Undead. I know my friends bro, he¡¦s a ¡§rusher¡¨ (who isn¡¦t these day¡¦s on Kalimdor? ƒº), and so I set out and begin to prepare for his rush... hehehehe
Okay... my build order...
PaLiDANz:
1 altar (peon rallied on gold mine)
2 peons
1 Burrow (peon rallied to wood)
1 peon (8/10)
1 Barracks (peon sent to wood)
Burrow finishes as altar does, Farseer trained
Barracks finishes, 2 peon and grunt are produced (18/20)
1 burrow & War mill (both peons set to wood)
Farseer created (point used on spirit wolves [duh...wonder what he gonna do?])
Comments: As you can see, I was clearly going for Farseer rush. Yeah I know, its gay but seriously think of this: I¡¦m about to rush someone who rushes to win? Yah this will be funny ^_^
So I send my Farseer down towards Blood¡¦s base accompanied by a grunt (hehehe go 700 life!) and I find that he has just completed his second crypt! (omg sooooo rushing ƒº) I lick my lips and attack him. I macro as his Crypt Lord and 5 ghouls teleport back in and attack, mean while, I attack his acyloltes in an attempt to stop his economy. Surprised, it works! And I run away with one damaged grunt and a half life Farseer. The following is exchanged after battle:
AssassinBlood: Heh... scared ya off eh?
PaLiDANz: meh *shrugs* your MACRO real good?
AssassinBlood: WTF! SHIT OMG!
PaLiDANz: hehehehe....
As you can tell, I have thoroughly put him back in the game. As he finally has his haunted gold mine at his base full with five workers, I reach tier 2! Awww watsamattah? Angry that your losing baby Bro? hehe...
Middle Game: well yah, it was a short game really... kk, I¡¦m doing soooo much better than him, I have amassed 6 grunts and a brand new spanking hero, the Shadow Hunter! (point was used to learn healing wave, but that was obvious ^_^) Yahoo! And with another evil Grin I set out to screw my friends little bro (not up the ass for you perverts out there!)
Little B has other plans though, he had finally rebuilt his miners, and began the annoying cryptie-statue combo. So when I attacked and lost three grunts, I had to rethink my strategy, then it hit me! ƒº Catapults + unsuspecting workers = DEATH ƒº so I begin training catapults, pause to creep, I hit level 4 & 2 (Seer & Hunter) I use the Seer¡¦s points to learn level 2 chain lighting and the Hunter¡¦s for ward! Bwahaha! Any ghouls left alive will surely perish now heheh. Newayz. I didn¡¦t feel comfortable with just catapults and three grunts, so I started production of Trollheadhunters.
ARMIES OF MIGHT & MAGIC (also a little OWNMENT ^_^)
PaLiDANz¡¦s Army:
-3 catapults
-3 grunts (1/2)
-6 Trollheadhunters (0/2) [being upgraded Troll Beserkers]
-Farseer
-Shadow Hunter
AssassinBlood¡¦s Army:
Little did I realize that his army was off creeping which gave me an edge, but like I need anymore advantages right?
-4 ghouls (1/0) (red life on all)
-6 crypt fiends (2/1) (one near death)
-2 statues
-Dreadlord (yellow life)
-Cryptlord (high green life
So now you can see that I clearly have the edge in this battle, what makes his downfall even more stupid is he didn¡¦t town-portal! Lolz! I would shout n00b, but remembering I¡¦m one, I quickly put that thought down ƒ¼ So my catapults put his miner¡¦s (again) out of order and in piles of burning flesh. Seeing this easily, AssassinBlood returns to his base, with his withered army, I easily dispatch his melee ghoulds with chain lighting and a serpent ward, and then I beat down on his ¡§I really love giving hero¡¦s sleeping pills¡¨ dread lord. With that little bitch of a demon out of it, the cryptlord quickly but uselessly tries to impale me, but with a helpful chain lighting-Healing wave combo, I quickly put the fiends out of the battle. What is left of his base is being slowly demolished by my new super 3/2 grunt (yah due to poor micro, two died ƒ¼) and 2/2 Beserkers, I finish Little B and leave my friend in amazed saying that clan ¡§LgNd¡¨ will come after me now lolz. I laugh and the game ends with him saying this.
¡§Man dude you blow!!!¡¨
(sounds soooo bad)
END
PaLiDANz!!! ļ
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