"FLS, I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. There is no place small, dark, and damp enough to hide your wretched carcass. And when I find you, your grandson will rather have his private parts infested with the fleas of a thousand camels than hear of your horrible fate."
-Mark4
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| Dev shows his uselessness | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 08/08/99 05:08 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | Starcraft(1), Text Only(1) | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 4, Max: 8, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for Dev: 7.8723 |   | Since I write battle reports here so often, I think by now some of you may have noticed something. If ever you see one of those rare reports that I'm playing in, it's against a newbie. Well, here you go: A report of Dev against a decent player or two... and paying for it. Behold my uselessness.
The Map: Dire Straits, the land of Mark4.
The players:
In this corner...
Dev (as Tyderis), Chosen White Protoss, Upper Left start.
Can][bus (my roommate). Random Brown Zerg, Lower Right start.
And in this corner...
Uh... well... I don't really remember their names.
Enemy One: Chosen Teal Protoss, Upper Right start.
Enemy Two: Chosen Blue Protoss, Lower Left start.
This is really gonna hurt.
My teammate intimates that he's rushing for a hydra drop. I choose to go gas first, then gateway, cybernetics, forge, robotics, and a second gateway. I warp a pair of cannons in the drop zone behind my minerals and begin making reavers and dragoons. I also start templar tech and an observatory.
A scouting overlord reveals that our Blue protoss foe has neglected to defend his probes. I load a shuttle with a reaver and a dragoon and set off to cause some havoc. My teammate brings tweleve hydralisks to land on the east end of the island.
This was quite possibly our worst mistake. While my teammate's hydras landed and took out the majority of Blue's dragoon forces, my reaver and dragoon landed virtually unopposed and slaugtered all of Blue's probes. I set to work on the nexus, but Blue's extensive cannon wall kept my teammate's hydras from linking up with my remaining dragoon.
Here's the mistake: Had my teammate unloaded his hydras where I unloaded my reaver and dragoon, we would have smashed all of the probes AND the nexus, effectively eliminating Blue from the game. As it stood, Teal came to the rescue with a set of dragoons and our offensive was stopped.
I load my shuttle with another reaver and a pair of zealots, intent on hauling back to blue's main to finish what I started. Along the way, I spot a blue expansion on the island between his main base and mine. I drop my forces there instead, killing the expansion. Blue cancels the nexus and I raze what's left.
Teal was not idle during this time. Possessing at least one expansion, I saw a five-shuttle drop hit my main base, loaded with six dragoons and four reavers. I landed my drop forces and threw my four zealots, four dragoons, and three reavers into battle. With some help from my teammate's diverted hydra drop, my main base remains intact with the loss of a few pylons and my observatory.
I now have high templar and psionic storm to aid me, but I have a large stockpile of cash. I drop a stargate for corsairs and gather up a group of dark templar, zealots, dragoons, and reavers.
In my first stellar (that's sarcasm) move of the game, I drop three dark templar on my Blue opponent's stalled main base. The cloaked assassins slice through the shields on a clump of four dragoons, which quickly retreat to cannon range. I pull my dark templar back and raze Blue's observatory, then circle his base for targets out of cannon range. I set the dark templar to work on a gateway, then leave them to die. Gee, aren't I smart? After they finish the gateway, they charge into eight photon cannons and vanish.
My teammate has attempted three doomed hydra drops in total and has yet to expand. He has lost, I estimate, thirty hydras while doing no appreciable damage, but continues his reckless production of zerglings and hydralisks.
I drop a second stargate and attempt to expand to the island between myself and blue. My shuttle spots five photon cannons in a line at the north edge of the base and is promptly shot down by them. Ugh.
Knowing I really need to expand, I try again at the island between myself and teal. I drop a probe, a zealot, a dark templar, and a high templar and begin my nexus when eight shuttles appear overhead from Teal. They probably were targeted for my main but instead decided to crush my hopes of ever having a decent economy. The shuttles dropped a ridiculous amount of dragoons on my expansion and my templar got one good psionic storm off, but soon perished.
The drop forces then reloaded, but I had a group of four corsairs parked off the coast of my island. They were able to shoot down one shuttle before the group retreated and unloaded back on the expansion island, scaring off my corsairs.
I was able to build up to an eight-fighter group and used hit-and run tactics to knock down two more shuttles before Teal decided to load up and retreat back to his base.
My teammate attempted a hydra drop on Teal's main base. Twenty-four hydras unload in front of three reavers and a high templar. The defense proves... effective, as the hydras unloaded in a large clump, maximizing the effectiveness of the Protoss weapons. My reaver/zealot drop near the mineral line was also interdicted with enemy reavers.
My teammate manages an expansion to the left-center island during the confusion, allowing him to keep up his production of drop forces.
I immediately expanded to the island between myself and teal. I put up three pylons and a nexus and then realized how utterly stupid I am yet again. I was at 49 minerals with no income (my main was dry). I had no money for cannons. I had no money for anything. I had eight corsairs and no defenses at my expansion.
At this point, my ally asks for me to disruption web the photon cannons at Teal's newest expansion. Like an idiot, I agree, and my eight corsairs (all that stand between me and elimination) move dutifully away from my only chance of survival.
Blue chooses this point to drop four dragoons on my undefended last hope.
I'm a moron.
I run my corsairs back as fast as I can as the dragoons begin pounding on my warping nexus. I disruption web them. They move. I disruption web them again. I'm calling across the room for help like a weakling while loading up two reavers in a shuttle at my main base. I manage to disruption web twice more when my ally arrives with two overlords full of zerglings. The voracious little lifesavers rip up the dragoons, leaving my nexus at 500 hp.
I drop one reaver from the shuttle at my expansion, then run back to my main base and gather up all my now idle probes. I move them back and drop them.
Teal chooses this point to drop two templar and a mess of dragoons on my nearly undefended last hope.
I'm still a moron.
My reaver gets off two good shots, damaging and killing enough dragoons for my ally's zerglings to finish the rest... the last high templar is cut down by my probes. I now have six probes, 49 minerals, and a few forces. Fun time.
I get production running at my expansion and the minerals begin flowing again, running into my 143 hit point nexus. I then do what I promised my teammate I would; I disruption web the photons at the south end of Teal's new center island expansion.
Twelve hydras unload on Teal's expansion. First, a psionic storm ravages eight, and the remaining four are buried under a pile of Protoss interceptors.
Interceptors?
Oh. Wonderful.
My eight brave corsair pilots wade into the battle and cut one carrier down in a flurry of explosions. However, three of them crash flaming into the sea. Not cost effective. I retreat the survivors and haul back to my main base, producing Scouts from two gateways and researching the Scout thruster upgrade.
I run out of gas.
I'm an idiot.
My main base vespene geyser is depleted, and I forgot to start one at my expansion. Good moves, Dev. You've condemned yourself and your teammate to certain death.
I manage to scrape up three scouts while starting gas production, and send them with my corsairs into the teeth of the enemy doom fleet, which is now razing my teammate's only expansion on the left-center island. I drop a templar there to stall them, and manage one good psionic storm on the clumped carriers before the shuttle and the templar are blasted to oblivion.
I construct a quick shield battery at my expansion and move my eight fighters in for another shot at the vast enemy fleet. I manage to destroy another carrier at the cost of five fighters, and pull back to my shield battery. I have three more scouts awaiting orders at my main base. These I add to my fighter group, bringing me with four scouts and two corsairs.
The carrier fleet closes on my last source of minerals and vespene. My fighter pilots bravely hit and run, knocking down one carrier and pulling back to recharge shields. Unfortuantely, my Teal opponent has dropped a pair of templar to aid his carriers and I am forced to micro around psionic storm. In one last desperate attack, my fighters fling neutron flares and anti-matter missiles against the tough hide of a fourth carrier, blasting it apart, before half my remaining fighters perish in fiery explosions. I retreat my last corsair and scout, recharging their shields just before the shield battery joins the remainder of my expansion in oblivion.
An observer watches the progress at this island; Teal drops a probe and systematically creates a cannon/templar defense, and takes the island for himself. Looking around the map, I can see they've done that EVERYWHERE. The map crawls with Blue and Teal. My teammate and I are finished, trapped in our dry main bases.
My assets total five dragoons, four hastily summoned high templar, three useless zealots, two useless reavers, a scout, and a corsair. My teammate has a large mass of hydralisks and zerglings along with two scattered lurkers.
Tyderis(Me): Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
Teal: Heh.
Blue dumps a mass of twelve dragoons on my teammate. His hydralisk and zergling forces easily quell the threat, but I have no illusions... after me, he's next on the menu, and it's pretty much my fault.
An arbiter escorts a huge pack of carriers over my main base. I fight to the last, microing my dragoons around his support psionic storms and landing four good psionic storms of my own on his fleet... but to absolutely no avail. My entire base seems to crumble at once. The two carriers I destroy go virtually unnoticed.
So, for all of you out there wondering if I can actually play the game I report so often, the answer is no. (:
Now that I've officially declared myself to be an easy win for the nohunters crowd, here are some lessons:
- I am the worst macro player in the history of man. I produced 84 units to my teammates 200 and Teal's 198.
- I chose the two worst possible times to expand, and I didn't defend my last hope well enough either time.
- Mass hydra drops really aren't too hot against Protoss reavers and high templar. Perhaps guardians and devourers with queen support would work better.
- I am a complete idiot. |
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